The rain had stopped.
Tu Hengsha left Su Ronggui’s car lights far behind, hopped on a bus, and went ho. At the snack shop by the school entrance, she bought so fried buns for Mom’s late-night snack.
She grew up eating the fried buns from this shop. The owner was a bald Grandpa Pang who loved to tease her and had been doing so for over twenty years.
Grandpa Pang gave her an extra half serving, "Little Sha, get ho quickly! This rain is coming back!"
"Okay! Thanks, Grandpa!" she quietly added money for the extra half serving and ran off.
As Grandpa Pang picked up the money, he shook his head with a smile, "That girl!"
Tu Hengsha, holding the still warm buns, poked her head through the door. She found Mom counting cash and rembered she needed to visit the man she called her father.
Hearing the door, Shu Hui turned and said, "Little Sha, are you free this weekend?"
"Yes!" she replied quickly.
Shu Hui nodded without saying more, a silent understanding between mother and daughter.
Since Tu Hengsha beca sensible, she visited her father alone because it didn’t matter if Shu Hui went; Father never wanted to see them.
She was already familiar with the prison, brought money, and bought so things at the prison’s internal store to give to the guards to pass on to her father and deposited so money for him.
As always, the ssage from the guards was, "He doesn’t want to see you."
She nodded, accustod to it, and asked the guards to relay, "Please tell him Mom and I are well, no need to worry, and focus on reforming." The sa ssage, year after year, she couldn’t rember how many tis she’d said it.
And thus, the prison visit was over. She never got to see him. Honestly, twenty years had passed, and there wasn’t even a picture of him at ho; she’d forgotten what this man looked like. There used to be pictures—his and Mom’s wedding photo, a family portrait of the three of them—on the table, on the wall. But ever since he was imprisoned and Mom fell into depression, she’d put everything about him away and hadn’t taken them out in twenty years.
She didn’t miss him, didn’t bla him, and certainly didn’t hate him.
Growing up with just her mother, Shu Hui was the most important person in her life. Her father was just a word in the dictionary, and never having felt the warmth of paternal love ant there was no resentnt for its absence. As for the sha he left her and the cris he committed, he paid for them with his freedom, so what did it have to do with her?
Sotis she wondered if she was a bit cold-hearted, but then again, what else could she do? Mourning and complaining couldn’t change reality, so it was better to live without love or resentnt, in peace.
Father was a stranger; prison visits were routine like work. That was fine. It was just that every such day, Shu Hui was more emotionally low, and Tu Hengsha would co ho early to keep Mom company.
Shu Hui prepared a table full of dishes with a bit of ceremony.
Tu Hengsha was used to it, sat down, buried her head in the food, and praised Mom’s cooking skills.
Shu Hui looked at her nonchalant daughter, sighing, "Little Sha, your father and I have let you down. How much better it would be if you were born into a better family..."
Tu Hengsha knew it must be because Mom had found soone to introduce to her, and they disliked her having a father in prison.
She laughed carelessly, "Mom! What are you talking about? If soone else were my parents, then I wouldn’t exist!"
Shu Hui just looked at her, eyes full of guilt and pity.
"Mom!" Tu Hengsha put down her bowl and chopsticks, hugged Shu Hui’s neck, "Don’t worry. I will get myself married! I’ll even bring back a good boy to be filial to you too! Just you wait and see!"
Shu Hui managed a weak smile, but the gloom lingered.
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