"Lin Dong and I were college classmates. We had a wonderful ti together. He started his own business in college, staying ahead of the industry; at first, he was quite successful and rode high on success. After graduation, we got married, but the good tis didn’t last. His business ran into problems, quickly declined, accrued debt, and eventually failed. He beca a wreck, and every attempt to restart ended in failure. It was a vicious cycle. Our household gradually began to rely on for support. He started drinking heavily, mingling with all sorts of unreliable friends. I gave him my last savings to invest, only for him to be swindled by friends, leaving us completely broke. Because of this, I beca dissatisfied with his choice of friends. I would list how unreliable they were. He was unhappy, and we began to argue—more and more fiercely. Once, when he was drunk, he brought up investing with his friends again. I disagreed, and we had a violent argunt, one that spiraled out of control. Naturally, we said things we couldn’t take back, and that ti, for the first ti, he hit , and I was already more than seven months pregnant..."
Recalling the past was like reopening an old wound, profound and bloody pain.
Tears welled in Chen Qi’s eyes. After a mont of calm, she said, "Punching, kicking, even hitting my stomach because of this, Nuonuo was born prematurely... Later, when he sobered up, he tearfully repented, kneeling in front of , begging for forgiveness. For a while, he treated Nuonuo and extrely well. At that ti, I considered that Nuonuo was still so young, and he seed genuinely remorseful, so I forgave him. But I was wrong. Dostic violence is sothing that happens either zero or countless tis. Once it starts, it never ends. Over the following years, his career never picked up again. He couldn’t succeed at anything. His temper grew more volatile and extrely sensitive, unable to tolerate any criticism. I couldn’t say he was failing; no one could. If he heard even a whisper outside that he was being supported by his wife, I’d be in trouble. I’d also suggested there’s no need to invest in being the boss, to get a job with a company, work nine to five, but he refused. His starting point was too high to live under soone else. Life then fell into a vicious cycle of arguing, hitting , apologizing. Each ti he begged for forgiveness, he was sincere, and then the next ti he’d drink, he’d take it out on just the sa..."
No matter how deep feelings were, they’d be erased in such a life. For the future, she was almost in despair, yet in her despair, she felt the light of Su Ronggui. Knowing she shouldn’t, her heart was still illuminated by this light. Lin Dong said she called out Su Ronggui’s na under him, which was an exaggeration, but it was true she dreamt different dreams in the sa bed with Lin Dong. In many dreams, she dreamt of Su Ronggui, of glaciers covering the plateau, of being buried in ruins in a disaster area, with no hope of survival. She called Su Ronggui’s na repeatedly, wishing he’d co rescue her. Whether at so point she called his na out loud for Lin Dong to hear, she couldn’t be sure, but she thought the her in dreams seeking unfulfilled survival, the her fainting in the snow, the her being trapped under rubble, were reflections of her real life. She felt like she was drowning in a sea of suffering, unable to save herself. She dared to hope that Su Ronggui would co to save her in dreams, yet knew in real life there would never be anyone to save her...
"But do you plan to keep enduring such a life?"
Tu Hengsha’s question interrupted her thoughts. She sighed deeply, "What else can I do if not endure? Initially, I always held so illusion—maybe he really regretted his actions? Maybe he could really change? But later, when I saw through it and knew he couldn’t change, I thought of divorce. I also moved out with my son once, but he refused to divorce. Wherever I moved, he would follow and threaten, just like this ti, bragging that if I ntioned divorce again, he’d kill and our son, then commit suicide afterward..."
She gave a bitter smile, "I don’t know if he’s just threatening or if he’d really do it, but what I do know is that this marriage can’t be ended."
"If you can’t reach an agreent, can’t you go to court or seek help?" Tu Hengsha found Lin Dong terrifying. She thought back to last night; when Xiao Xu hurt his hand and needed stitches, she was distressed; she couldn’t imagine deliberately harming Xiao Xu herself.
Chen Qi shook her head. "What’s the use? He hasn’t killed or left crippled. So surface injuries, making a scene would only result in him being criticized, educated, or at most, detained for a dozen days. And then it’s the sa again when he gets out. I’d lose dignity in the process. Sotis I think he might as well just kill ; it would end it all, and he’d pay with his life, but that would really be unfair to Nuonuo..."
As Chen Qi spoke, her tears began to flow again. "As for going to court, ah, I can’t bear to lose that dignity. People always like to show their best face in public. Those dark and dirty bits underneath, you swallow along with your broken teeth. But most importantly..." She paused. "I have leverage against Lin Dong that I can’t bring myself to push to destruction. I’m always afraid he’d use it to ruin my future. I keep thinking if I work more, travel for work more often, avoid him, it would be fine, but so things just can’t be avoided. Eventually, they have to be faced. A person’s endurance has resilience, but that resilience has a limit. Once at the limit, it collapses."
Tu Hengsha didn’t know what leverage Chen Qi was talking about. Was it about her affection for Su Ronggui? But it couldn’t be, as there wasn’t a substantial relationship between Chen Qi and Su Ronggui. However, she didn’t press to ask, thinking it pertained to Chen Qi’s privacy.
Chen Qi seed to notice her confusion. "This leverage, I won’t tell you for now, but you’ll know naturally in a few days."
"Aren’t you afraid Lin Dong will expose your leverage this ti?" Tu Hengsha asked.
Chen Qi gave a bitter smile again. "I said it, a person’s endurance is limited. I’m done enduring. I used to think that no matter what, he’s Nuonuo’s biological father, and no one would love Nuonuo more than he would; enduring would be for Nuonuo’s sake. But as you saw, this father has beco irrelevant to Nuonuo’s growth. In such an environnt, Nuonuo can’t be healthy. So, consider it for my son to grow up in peace and for to stop living in fear. I’m done enduring and I’m not afraid anymore. I’ve made my decision, cut my retreat, ensuring he has nothing left to threaten with."
"Aren’t you afraid he’ll keep coming after you? Just like last night?" Not to ntion Lin Dong had threatened her—daring to divorce would get her and their son killed.
"Afraid, yes! So I have to find a new way for myself," Chen Qi said with a sense of understanding.
It seed she had found a new path.
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