"Beatrix, I have so important things to tell you."
I just finished packing my clothes and Faith Vienne's when my father erged from the door. The grave expression on his face made suddenly worried. It was the first ti I saw the unusual expression on his handso countenance.
"Please co in Papa. I just finished packing."
I closed my large suitcase after stuffing the last of my necessities inside and closed it. The door behind opened and closed. When I turned towards father, he was standing in front of , hand firmly wrapped on the side of the crib where Faith Vienne lay.
He didn't say anything at first. His gaze glued to his granddaughter who was happily wiggling inside her crib. He appeared to be contemplating. Perhaps he was searching for the right words to say before he told the news.
"Papa? Is everything all right?"
His gaze averted to mine. It occurred to that he looked tired. "I'm fine Beatrix." He said, offering a smile. I knew he was lying. It doesn't require words to find out. His expression speaks the truth itself.
Papa is perhaps worried that Faith Vienne and I will be leaving tomorrow morning. It will be the first ti we will leave the Mansion for a very long ti. It would take four long years to permanently stay here after I finished my studies.
"It's about your birth certificate Beatrix. You shall carry the na Phoenix De Amore for a while—it's just temporary until the family lawyer could legally change your na to Beatrix Crawford."
Alarm welled inside . I jumped out of the bed to level father's gaze at mine. " P-phoenix D-De Amore?"
"Yes, it was your real na." He replied, eting my bulging eyes. I sensed his effort to hide his emotions.
"Oh, Papa! I'm so happy that the private investigator finally discovered who I was. Is there sothing important I need to know?" My eyes widened with expectation as I waited for his response.
"There's not much Beatrix. You work in a business hotel as a hotel attendant. The man who stood as your father figure died a year ago from chronic illness while your mother passed away just this year from the sa chronic illness. That's the information the private investigator supplied."
I took a deep, long breath while absorbing the information. He said nothing as he continues to regard with a calculated look. My eyebrows scrunched in confusion, I sensed father wasn't telling the whole tale.
"How about my husband Papa! Or a boyfriend! I want to know who was my daughter's father." I snapped. Before I realized it, the words were spoken aloud and it was too late for to retreat.
I wonder if it was only my imagination but his jaw clenched and a shadow crossed his eyes. Before I could read the fleeting emotions it was gone as fast as it arrived.
"You have a husband Beatrix but he filed for divorce months before the accident. He has nothing to do with you anymore."
Grief tore my heart into shreds. The news was so devastating and I don't know how to react. There's nothing more depressing than the thought a man had forsaken while I was with his child. "Give his na Papa! I want to talk to him." Desperately, I pleaded. If I need to kneel just to know my ex-husband's na I will do it.
I will hunt him down and tell his face he was no man.
He shook his head. "I don't believe it would be necessary for my daughter." He said with finality in his tone. But I made up my mind and I wouldn't allow him to keep the man's na.
"Please Papa, just one favor. He deserves to know he has a daughter." I respond rather harshly. Gone was the self-control I thought I possessed. I found myself becoming too desperate.
"It's too late to tell him, Beatrix. Your ex-husband died of a car accident." He replied in the gentlest way possible.
Silence lapsed between us. I found myself shaken by the news. Hearing him say Faith Vienne's father was dead had drilled a deep hollow emptiness inside . Indescribable pain clutched my heart. I found myself slowly drifting back to the bed for support.
"I'm sorry Beatrix." He whispered when I was seated on top of the bed. Pain visibly shone in his eyes. I tore my gaze off him and shifted it down to the floor. "I didn't want to tell you the truth because I'm afraid you would grieve over that 'bastard.' The man left you Beatrix and he married his secretary."
I didn't reply…. I don't even know how to respond to the situation. My silence seems to be the best reaction.
"I still want to know his na, Papa."
He vigorously shook his head. His face hardened. "No, it's better you know little about him, Beatrix. As your father, I refuse to tell you his na."
"I understand Papa. I won't insist anymore." I said weakly, no longer in the mood to argue. My strength had been drained and an argunt is the last thing I wanted now. Father was only trying to protect . If he gave my ex-husband's na, it would complicate things. It will bring back old and painful mories which should be cast to oblivion.
It's better if I leave things this way.
The bed moved when he sat beside . I lifted my gaze to his face to read his expression but father was trying his best to avoid my eyes as if he wasn't trying to hide sothing. 'Don't be ridiculous Beatrix. He won't keep anything from you because he was your father.' said a logical part of my brain and I believe it.
"Don't stress yourself trying to force yourself to rember your ex-husband. There's a huge reason why you forgot about him."
For the first ti, my father didn't reach out to . He must know that there's nothing he could do to make feel better. But even in the midst of his silence, I could feel his sympathy.
"There's one more thing Beatrix. You shall keep your identity a secret inside Harvey University until the family lawyer settles the issue."
My brain was still fogged with confusion that I just nodded my head. Papa opened his mouth to speak but closed them again as if changed his mind. I heard him sigh. "I'm taking much of your ti Beatrix. Finish packing, we would be waiting for you down the hall."
Without another word, he walks towards the door, reaches for the doorknob, and pulls it open. He was gone for a while now but my gaze remained nailed to the door as if it would give the answer I was looking for.
I picked Faith Vienne from the crib and wrapped her around my arms. When I did, tears gathered in the corner of my eyes. I swallowed the lump in my throat and continued to look at her.
A pair of exquisite blue eyes continue to stare at with wonder. I bit my lips to suppress the tears attempting to fall down my cheeks. She's young to understand the truth but when she grows older I wonder how I would explain everything to my daughter.
Will I ever have the courage to one day tell my daughter that her father died when she was just a baby? I sighed deeply and walked towards the door with my daughter still in my arms.
I got up from the bed leaving the sheets crumpled by my weight. Instead of walking downstairs, I found myself walking towards the terrace.
When I was comfortably seated on the long Victorian sofa, my eyes shifted to the beautiful view spreading on the horizon.
It was almost six and the radiant sun was losing its brightness but it was still high and vibrant enough to create spectacular evening shadows overlooking from the floor to ceiling glass window of the terrace.
Silence hung around the terrace but sohow I found myself gradually relaxing. Questions I couldn't find an answer continue to swirl around but it didn't bother that much the way I did while ago. There's far more pressing matters than my past, I reminded myself contemplating what would beco of in a far more different country.
Tomorrow I will be leaving with my daughter and there's no turning back.
Below the garden, a soft flicker of movent caught my attention. When my eyes narrowed in concentration I realized it was Carter sitting on top of the bench. My heartbeat increased. He looked sad, I didn't need to be on his side to identify what he felt, lancholy seed to surround him tonight. There was sothing about tonight, it seems his spirits were down.
There was sothing about Carter which I couldn't explain. He was an enigma, a puzzle to be solved. Everyti he looks at there's only one person who cos to my mind, it was my daughter.
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