Lucas opened his mouth as if to say sothing but changed his mind at the last minute and closed it again.
The flicker of tenderness I thought I saw crossed his face was nowhere to be seen. Instead a face masked with a paper blank expression is what was staring back at .
"You must be tired. You can go back to your room and rest. I'll take good care of my child. " He told in a tone which was filled with a chilling civility.
He was right, I need to go back to my room. I have no reason to stay in his room any further.
My gaze stared back at Niall. There was a dull ache in my chest as I wiped the wetness at the corner of his eyes. I still wanted to stay, to hold him in my arms like a mother should but I felt that Lucas didn't want there at all.
I couldn't bla him for hating . I've done sothing unforgivable and no matter how much regret I have now, It's impossible to make him forgive , especially that the wound was still raw.
"Goodnight Niall." I whispered to the child's ears and laid a soft kiss on his brow.
I descended from the bed and grabbed my crutches which were leaning on the wall. But before I headed to the adjoining door, my gaze drifted to the sleeping angel on the bed and stole one last glance at my baby boy.
"Goodnight Lucas." I was surprised that the words automatically flew out of my lips before I could even realize what I'm doing.
He didn't reply so I turned my back at him and slowly made my way to the door. I felt his gaze follow until I reached the adjoining door that connects his room to mine and closed it behind .
I lay on my bed. There were so many questions endlessly filling my thoughts, I couldn't answer a single one of them and frustration nibbled inside because of that.
As I lay there in the middle of the dimly lit room, I couldn't help but wonder if my life would be a bit different if I didn't take for granted the love he once gave so willingly?
With that question in my mind I finally fell asleep and found a peace of mind even if it's only temporary.
⭑ ⭒ ⭑
"I will killll yooooouuuu."
An ear-shattering scream erupted from my lips as a pair of hands captured my neck. I wasn't in the ballroom with bright, glittering lights anymore. Instead, I found myself lying on the rough, pebbled ground in the middle of a dark deserted woods with a man trying to kill .
"L-let go! L-let go…" I pleaded. My hands worked to loosen the hand that was clutching my neck tightly. But my struggles were futile, I was no match for a man. Especially not when he's six foot tall with muscles as hard as a wall.
I was thrashing and fighting for my dear life but it seems I couldn't do anything to save myself from dying.
I couldn't breathe anymore …. I was slowly slipping away from consciousness….
Help Lord, I prayed with eyes firmly shut. Helpless tears were flowing down my cheeks in abundance.
He aid the gun to my chest and pulled the trigger.
I woke up to the sound of my own piercing scream. My eyes snapped open and my bedroom ca to view. It took seconds to realized it had been all a dream… a dark, ugly nightmare.
"Sssshhh. Stop crying. It's just a dream." Lucas said gently, and pulled into his arms.
I didn't know why he was on my room. Perhaps the sound of my own scream had woken him up too.
"B-but it was a horrifying dream and it feels like it wasn't just a dream at all." I replied. Warm stream of tears starts falling down my cheeks.
My eyes fluttered closed and the mories of the dream ca rushing back to and the sa unbearable fear returned to haunt once more.
I was so scared and so utterly devastated that I fell into a violent sob that made my whole body tremble.
The room was so cold and yet my clothes were drenched with my own sweat.
"It's alright." I hear Lucas mumble against my ears. His hand gently caressed my back. "No one will hurt you, okay." I'm here." His tone was soft, and full of promise and sohow it was able to console .
Slowly my sobs subsided until I was able to calm myself. The warmth of his body pressed against mine was a source of comfort to my tortured soul.
In his arms I felt safe and secure as if it was the safest place on earth. As long as I stay close to him, there will be no nightmare to haunt nor demons to chase .
"You could sleep now, okay?" He whispered as he lay into the bed with still in his arms.
My eyelids grew heavy and I found myself drifting into the portals of dreamland. When I finally closed my eyes, there was no haunting nightmare. For the first ti in years, I slept like a baby.
The sun rays passing through the partially opened drapes and the sound of soft hurried footsteps against the floor awakened my sleeping senses.
"Mama…" I felt the soft cushioned bed bounce before a soft hand touched my cheeks. I opened my eyes and saw Niall.
A slow smile curved into my lips as I took his hand into my own but Niall completely ignored and turned his head away. "Dada." He said in his soft, child tone.
My smile faded instantly, sensing for the first ti that I wasn't alone.
With my forehead scrunched in confusion, I shifted my head to my right. There comfortably lying on my bed as if it was his own was Lucas.
He was looking at intently.
Unable to et his gaze, I turned my head away from him as the mories of last night flooded in my mory.
"How are you feeling?" He asked.
"Better. Thank you." I replied still unable to look at him after what happened last night.
"Good." He said and turned his head to Niall. "Be a good boy, Niall. I wouldn't be here the whole day to watch over you."
As if Niall perfectly understood what he ant, the child nod his head obediently.
Lucas kissed the boy on the temples before getting out of bed.
For unknown reasons, my heart sank.
"You're leaving?" I asked, watching as he made his way to the adjoining door that separates his room to my own. Before he reached for the knob, he turned at and said, "work." Then he pulled the door and vanished out of my sight.
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