The tension in the back seat grew thicker and thicker, and Song Yi felt an urge to raise the partition, but he wasn’t certain whether such an action would anger Fu Shinian even further. So, he could only endure it, praying for the storm to pass quickly.
Fu Shinian remained silent for several seconds, confronting Su Mu’s gaze without flinching. But the emotions in his eyes were slowly fading away.
He was restraining himself, repeatedly telling himself internally that he shouldn’t quarrel with Su Mu at this mont, that he should try to understand her perspective and sympathize with her feelings. Thus, he suppressed his irritation over and over, doing his best to remain calm.
"Since you don’t want to face Grandma, we won’t return to the old house; we’ll go to Bishui Yuntian instead."
This was his compromise, but Su Mu still frowned:
"I want to be alone."
"Alone?" Fu Shinian chuckled lightly, "Does that an you also won’t co ho for the Spring Festival?"
Su Mu turned to look out of the window:
"I don’t have a ho."
Two years ago, she had a ho, with parents inside. After she left the ho where she had lived for over 20 years, she moved into her own small place. She knew it wasn’t warm, but she still held onto boundless confidence, believing that with her capabilities, she could make that ho warm.
Two years had passed, and her confidence had crumbled. All attempts had ended in failure.
So, that place wasn’t her ho either.
"How long are you going to make a fuss?" Fu Shinian’s patience finally snapped, "Su Mu, I understand your mood, but everything should be within limits. You say you don’t have a ho, so what does that make the place where you’ve lived these past two years? A hotel? Even if there are many issues between us, I don’t need to tell you how the old lady has treated you, or is it that you want to tell that in your heart, you’ve never actually considered the old lady as your family?"
Su Mu did not speak, nor did she make any move.
Fu Shinian scoffed coldly, the anger he had been suppressing began to surge, even more intense than before:
"You are a smart person. You should be able to see what my attitude toward you these past few days signifies. I no longer care about the things between you and Wen Han, and I’m not going to hold it against you. You should know when to stop. Don’t put on such airs. Even if nothing happened between you and him, after all, you did spend a night next to another man without proper clothing, didn’t you? Don’t tell you expect to apologize to you, to beg you to forgive for what I said to you that day? For what I did?"
Su Mu understood that there was no way Song Yi could be ignorant of the affairs between her and Wen Han, but knowing was one thing, Fu Shinian bringing it up in front of her and Song Yi was another. She felt her self-respect and dignity being trampled under his feet, ground over and over.
"I have not," Su Mu looked at him, smiling faintly, "My mistake is my mistake. I don’t expect your apology, nor would I ever wish for it. But Fu Shinian, what do you take for? What gives you the right to think that just because you no longer care, no longer hold a grudge, I should happily return to your side? I admit that what happened between and Wen Han was my fault, but it’s not what I wanted, what I wished for."
"No one is in more pain than I am! When you’re angry, you say you don’t want to see again, tell to get lost, but once you’ve cald down, you co and say you’re not holding a grudge and ask to go back to the old house and live as before. Do you think I should be grateful for your forgiveness, on my knees thanking you for your grace?"
"But what about my feelings? My mood, my pain, my sadness, my repression, my regret, my grievances... Aren’t I supposed to have those? Just because sothing beyond my control went wrong with , I don’t deserve to feel, and I should just cater to your moods, right?"
Wiping away the tears that she couldn’t hold back anymore, Su Mu forced a smile:
"Facing you, I feel that I am in the wrong, grievously so, for I have tarnished the marriage that you value so highly. But most of the ti, I really don’t know what I did wrong. It was a trap set by others, what does that have to do with ? Am I wrong for not being on guard? For not being able to protect myself, to break free? Perhaps, yes, it’s my fault... Maybe it’s been my fault from the very beginning..."
This was the first ti Su Mu had spoken so much at once, seemingly ready to let out all the suppressed emotions of the past days. Fu Shinian did not interrupt her, but after she finished, he only asked her one question:
"What exactly do you want?"
"I don’t want anything." Su Mu shook her head gently, exhausted: "I’m just tired, I don’t want to waste my energy in such a repetitive relationship anymore. I own up to my mistakes, you don’t have to forgive ."
"You..."
Sensing what was to co, Fu Shinian tried to stop her but she cut him off, her gaze devoid of any emotion as she said indifferently:
"Fu Shinian, let’s get divorced."
Su Mu had never imagined that such words would co from her own mouth. She thought it would be Fu Shinian who would speak first, or maybe it wouldn’t be spoken at all, just a letter from a lawyer would arrive. She had also felt that when this truly happened before her, her heart would ache greatly.
But when she actually spoke the words, she felt only relief, as if she had put down a heavy load, and the path before her seed to clear.
She suddenly wanted to say ’sorry’ to her past self, for having wrongfully persisted and suffered for so long.
Inside the car, the only one at ease was Su Mu herself. Perhaps she noticed the atmosphere that had instantly beco oppressive, or perhaps having noticed, she no longer wanted to care. So she just quietly watched Fu Shinian, watched the flas in his eyes fiercely ignite.
Song Yi, because of Su Mu’s words, didn’t dare breathe a word. He couldn’t imagine what Fu Shinian might do next, but he could clearly feel that the chill behind him was more severe than the last ti Fu Shinian saw the photo of Su Mu and Wen Han.
But perhaps even rage has its own ’extres flip’ theory, and at such a ti, he seed unable to unleash any anger at all. He just looked at Su Mu as if he had heard so boring joke:
"Divorce? You think I don’t care about you, but what do you consider to be? It was you who wanted marriage; now that rely two years have passed, you’re the one opening your mouth to end it. What do I count for in your eyes?"
"Su Mu." He called her earnestly: "What makes you think that if I could agree to your request to marry back then, I would also agree to your proposal for divorce now? Who do you think you are?"
Su Mu looked at Fu Shinian:
"I’m just a woman who once foolishly thought that through her own efforts, she could make you fall in love with her. I thought that since the marriage began unwillingly on your part, you should be quick to agree to a divorce. Are you reacting like this because my suggestion has wounded your male pride, or is it because... you’ve fallen in love with ?"
Reviews
All reviews (0)