Chapter 56
Astrid’s POV
"But before we do the ritual," I said, my voice firm, "we need to agree on so things."
Kaeleen’s expression softened, his eyes filled with understanding. "Anything," he said, his voice gentle. "Anything you want, Astrid. Just na it."
He stepped closer, gently taking my hand in his. "You should know by now that I’m not going to force you to do anything you don’t want to do," he said, his voice reassuring. "I respect you, Astrid. And I value your freedom. I would never do anything to hurt you."
His words were comforting, but they also stirred a sense of unease within . I had heard similar words from Leon before, promises of love and devotion, assurances of safety and security. But those promises had been empty, those assurances had been lies. And I couldn’t shake the fear that Kaeleen’s words might be just as hollow.
"I appreciate that, Kaeleen," I said, my voice cautious. "But I need more than just words. I need guarantees."
I paused, taking a deep breath to steady my nerves. "The first thing I need reassurance of," I continued, "is that no matter what happens, even if things don’t work out between us, you’ll let go if I say I want to go. I don’t want to be trapped, Kaeleen. I don’t want to be forced to stay in a relationship that isn’t working for ."
Kaeleen’s expression softened, his eyes filled with understanding. "I promise," he said, his voice sincere. "I promise that if you ever want to leave, I’ll let you go. I won’t try to stop you, I won’t try to guilt you, I won’t try to manipulate you. I’ll respect your decision, Astrid. And I’ll let you walk away."
"I also need you to be patient with ," I said, my voice barely a whisper. "I may not be willing to do many of the things you want to do right now. I’m still healing, Kaeleen. I’m still trying to co to terms with everything that’s happened to . And I need ti to process things, ti to adjust, ti to trust."
Kaeleen nodded, his expression filled with empathy. "I understand," he said, his voice gentle. "I’ll be patient with you, Astrid. I won’t rush you, I won’t pressure you, I won’t force you to do anything you’re not ready for. You can take all the ti you need. I’ll be here for you, every step of the way."
To be sincere, a part of believed that Kaeleen wouldn’t do anything to hurt but I just needed the reassurance. I needed to be sure that things would t turn out to be like how things had turned with Leon.
"I need you to promise that you’ll give freedom," I said, my voice firm. "I need you to promise that you won’t try to control , that you won’t try to dictate my choices, that you won’t try to tell what to do."
I paused, my eyes searching his. "I want to live for myself, Kaeleen," I continued, my voice filled with emotion. "I’ve lived for other people my whole life, trying to please them, trying to et their expectations. But this ti, I want to do what’s right for . I want to make my own decisions, I want to chart my own course, I want to live my life on my own terms.
"You said there was a connection between us," I said, my voice barely a whisper. "That I felt it too. And you’re right. There is sothing between us. But I don’t want to rush into anything, Kaeleen. I don’t want to force myself to feel sothing that isn’t there. I don’t want to pretend to be soone I’m not."
I paused, my eyes searching his. "I know you’re not Leon," I continued, my voice filled with emotion. "I know you would never do the things he did to . But I’m still scared, Kaeleen. I’m still afraid of being hurt, of being controlled, of being trapped. And I need you to understand that. I need you to accept that. I need you to be patient with , even if it takes a long ti. I trust you Kaeleen, I really do but..."
Kaeleen stepped closer, gently cupping my face in his hands. His touch was warm, comforting, and it sent a shiver of longing through my body.
"I understand, Astrid," he said, his voice soft and sincere.
"No, you don’t understand..." I argued.
Kaeleen shook his head. "I do. I know how hard it is to open your heart to soone once you’ve been hurt. I know that and even when you say you trust , you don’t trust enough. You have doubts which I understand why you have and I’m willing to wait for you."
"What if it’s for a long ti? What if I can never heal from this?" I asked him.
"It doesn’t matter. Even if it takes a century, I’m willing to wait for you. You don’t know, Astrid but I’ve never felt anything like this with you."
"That’s why I’m telling you you are free to leave if you find soone else."
"I don’t want to find soone else." He said to .
"Kaeleen..."
"Please..."
"Just...just promise okay? Just give this reassurance." I pleaded with him.
"Why? Why do you want to promise you sothing like this?" He asked , his voice breaking.
"So you can let go if I choose to go. So I know you wouldn’t have this sa obsession that Leon has. Promise you’d let go first, you’d inform first if you find soone who happens to be your true mate." I begged him.
Kaeleen released a deep sigh. He looked like he was about to argue and I braced myself for it but instead he said sothing entirely different.
"Fine. I promise you. I will inform you first if I find soone..." he paused taking in a deep breath before continuing like the words were taking a lot out of him.
"...who happens to be my true mate. Is that enough?" He asked .
"Yes. Thank you." I said to him.
He turned to look the other way, his throat bobbing. I had no idea what was going through his head right now.
"Let’s get this done with yeah?" I asked him.
"Yeah." He mumbled.
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