Rage was an emotion Eirian was used to. She could happily admit she had a temper and a lack of patience that left her angry more often than not.
She’d been enraged before in her life. When she was a child, she realized how little her father cared. When she’d lost her first battle.
When Philip had left her.
When she’d been told of the marriage to Chenzhou. Even if it had turned out well, far better than expected, even if he’d turned out to be a decent person, the rage was and always would be there because it hadn’t been her choice.
That was the whole thing in the end.
It wasn’t her choice, no matter how good or bad it turned out, and that alone tainted anything good that did co of it.
She didn’t understand why everyone seed so confused by that. Her father and Brigitta and pretty much the entire high court, people she’d grown up alongside since she was a wee lass, even the court at the Calia didn’t care how she’d co to be there, only that she was there now.
And they all expected her to just go along and forgive and forget.
So rage was sothing Eirian was used to.
But it seed Chenzhou was especially skilled at inspiring whole new heights of it. She’d known he was suffering, that Beng Shai’s death had hit him hard. He’d never been as silent in all the months she’d known him as he was these last few days, and as much as he could hide exhaustion and pain, he couldn’t hide the lancholy that had settled over him.
She should have known he was going to do sothing stupid. He’d clearly been hiding sothing, and she hadn’t wanted to push because she didn’t want to hurt him further.
She should have made him talk about it, she realized. Pushed and pushed until he’d snapped, she thought when the guard ca and told her Chenzhou had left the camp alone.
Rat had warned them, he explained. Said soone was probably going to try to sneak out and not interfere, but to warn Eirian or Mingzhe imdiately. It had taken the guard fifteen minutes to find her, which ant Chenzhou had a short but decent headstart.
Mingzhe had only fallen asleep minutes before, but Eirian didn’t hesitate to shake him awake. What she hesitated to do was alert the rest of the camp.
If Chenzhou was just taking a few minutes to clear his head, and she sent the entire Crimson Army after him, it would ruin any trust Chenzhou had in her, and also any trust the soldiers had in their Lord. If Chenzhou’s soldiers didn’t trust him to lead them into battle, they wouldn’t trust him anywhere else, and whoever was trying to take the Calia from the Ye’s would succeed in a fortnight.
But if he wasn’t and she didn’t…
“How long has he been gone?” Mingzhe dressed quickly, not bothering with more than his basic uniform and boots.
“Fifteen minutes,” Eirian snapped, grabbing Ardain and her cloak. “Should have known he was going to do sothing like this.” She was angrier at herself than anyone else.
Mingzhe frowned. “I doubt he planned it. Chenzhou is normally very well thought out; if he planned to go unnoticed, it would have taken far longer.”
“I think impulsively walking out is slightly more concerning.” Eirian drawled, waiting impatiently for him to put on his sword and cloak. “Do we alert the army or not?”
Mingzhe stiffened at her question, debating. “Where is he going?”
“To apologize,” Eirian answered instantly, because the lancholy hanging over Chenzhou was guilt at its core. Guilt, spurred on by grief, made people do the stupidest things. “Fuck.” She cursed, as easily as that answer ca to her, Chenzhou’s plan followed. “He’s going to the Bandri.”
She stepped out of the tent, where the guards and all three groups of subcommanders were waiting. “Sound the alarm.”
“Where are we going?” Vitali asked as several others ran off to ring the bells.
“The Bandri camp.” Eirian snarled.
Their attitude changed accordingly.
“We’re attacking first?” Wayland looked confused, even as his hand rested on his sword.
“Sothing like that,” Eirian muttered as Mingzhe joined her, finally ready to go. Her sub-commanders knew better than to question her, but several of the others who remained looked like they were about to.
“Move faster.” Mingzhe snapped. “We are already behind.” That got them moving. Mingzhe’s reputation for excellence and not suffering fools was well known throughout the Crimson Army. He was generally seen as fair, but he demanded a lot and didn’t allow his soldiers to not rise to the occasion.
It took thirty minutes to get enough of the soldiers up and prepare to ride out. They couldn’t risk showing up without a significant force, given the sheer numbers of tribesn at the Bandri camp. As much as they didn’t want to reveal what Chenzhou had done, rumors started to fly imdiately.
Lady Yang, in particular, was furious. “Lord Ye was always mature for his age as a child; it’s unfortunate that it seems to have left him as an adult.” She’d snapped at her archers to be ready to ride in ten minutes, which had left them frantically scrambling.
They were the first ready, but it had taken them fifteen minutes, and Lady Yang’s expression had promised that she wasn’t going to forget the delay anyti soon.
Eirian and Mingzhe rode at the head of the army after sending the scouts ahead. “Where is Rat?” Mingzhe wondered.
“Hopefully tracking Chenzhou,” Eirian responded, voice still sharp with anger. It wouldn’t soften until she had a chance to burn it off, so perhaps it was a good thing they were riding to battle.
~ tbc
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