Thoughtful, Helena took the seat next to him. “Erin was…vibrant. In that way, people so rarely are. Without ego, without pride, incapable of cruelty.” She gave Chenzhou a sly look from under her lashes. “I’m sure you’ve noticed Eirian is quite the opposite.”
“I would not call her cruel.” Chenzhou snapped before he rembered himself.
“Being capable of cruelty does not make one a cruel person.” Helena scoffed. “Erin could not bear to hurt even an enemy. It was why she refused any kind of responsibility outside her family. Eirian is capable of making those decisions.”
Chenzhou relaxed. “She is a natural leader. Though sotis I don’t think she realizes how much.”
Helena let out a thoughtful hum. “She is like many gifted in that way. Blind to her own ability. Erin was very aware of her weaknesses, it made her a good person and a good friend, but a terrible leader. She took all faults onto herself, even when they weren’t hers.”
And that was definitely not Eirian. “You were close, then?”
Helena sat back. “Oh yes. Very. We beca dear friends not long after her family ca to Aontacht. When we were both young and still sowhat innocent of the world. We found out together that it was not nearly as honorable as it presented itself.”
Chenzhou could still rember the first ti he’d realized the world was the warm, kind place he’d thought. When he was barely six and first understood what it ant that neither of his parents were coming back from whereever they’d gone. He couldn’t figure out why it was happening to him when it seed like the rest of the world got to keep their parents.
He’d figured out very quickly that not everyone did.
And then he’d felt terrible when he’d been pleased to realize he wasn’t the only one who had to suffer.
He still felt guilty about feeling that way.
“We t Jacques and Francis at the sa ti. She and Jacques had an instant connection, and I was quite happy to step away, but it beca very obvious that Jacques was the only fit choice for the throne. Then there was that nonsense with his father.” Helena’s face twisted in disgust. “Old lecher.”
Chenzhou blinked in confusion, but carefully didn’t ask. He changed the subject instead. “She didn’t want to be queen?”
Helena shook her head fondly. “No. I did. From the mont I was five, my parents taught accordingly.” She smiled at so mory she didn’t offer to share. “Our marriage was a happy one despite our wandering interests. We trusted one another. A marriage based on friendship is far stronger than one based on passion.”
“My parents were a love match.” Chenzhou offered softly. “I always dread of one because everyone would tell stories of them. The way they couldn’t stop looking at one another whenever they were in the sa room.”
“I rember. They were a stunning pair.” At his confused look, she smirked. “Jacques and I were at their wedding.”
Chenzhou’s mouth dropped open in shock. “What?”
“You’re father was the previous Lord Ye. You shouldn’t be surprised.”
When she put it that way, it made sense, and Chenzhou wasn’t sure why he was so surprised.
“Relationships based on friendship can beco passionate, but relationships that begin as passion rarely change, because they already think they are perfect.” A wry smile overtook her face, shaving off years and revealing the cunning mind that had ruled alongside her husband so successfully. “It is important to maintain a relationship capable of change, because people never stop doing so. You will end up miserable no matter how much you love soone if you don’t allow for change.”
It took Chenzhou a mont to realize what she was really saying, underneath the obvious. “I consider Eirian a friend. She is far more than I ever expected.”
“But you love soone else?” Helena’s eyes narrowed.
“Anna. I have loved her since I was fourteen.” Chenzhou flexed his fingers, trying to settle his nerves. “We are all changing a lot now. Everyone at the Calia.” He admitted, but it didn’t seem like the positive change Helena had spoken of.
“Significant change is difficult to overco,” Helena murmured. “Eirian has always been more understanding than her father.”
Chenzhou rubbed his palms against his pants. “He is an…interesting man.”
Helena snorted. “He’s a small-minded man. Francis has always suffered from terminal envy. Anything soone else has, he wants.”
“Did he really love Erin?”
“As much as he is capable. And she did her best to be a goodwife, but her friendship with Jacques never faded, and it took a toll on them.”
Yuze had given Chenzhou an in-depth rundown of the rumors surrounding Eirian’s parentage, but even he admitted there was no actual evidence supporting one theory over the other. Eirian and Eric looked strikingly similar, but she also looked like his siblings and like her father and uncle. The Soliel bloodline was well-known for its powerful trademarks.
Jacques had only fathered male children with Helena and none with his other rumored lovers, while Francis had only fathered Eirian until her brother had been born last year.
Eirian and Eric were also nearly perfectly matched in age, born only two months apart.
There was no telling if Francis had produced any bastards. If he’d had any affairs, they’d been carried out with far more discretion than his brother’s or sister-by-marriage’s.
“Do you know which of them is her father?” Chenzhou asked quietly. Eirian would probably be happy to find out Jacques was her father.
But then that would an she’d just lost her father, not her uncle.
And that soone she cared about hadn’t bothered to tell her the truth.
Was that better than living with a father who was practically an enemy?
“I don’t know,” Helena admitted. “Neither do Jacques nor Francis. I don’t recall Erin and Jacques having relations around that ti, as he and I were enjoying one another. Francis would ban her from their marriage bed whenever the rumors kicked up, so that part of their relationship was often off.” She shrugged helplessly. “In the end, there is no way to be sure.”
Chenzhou sighed. “I thought it might give her so comfort.”
Helena shook her head. “I can understand why you would think so, but it would not. The damage is in the rumor, and it has already been done. Regardless of which is true, she would only suffer more from an answer.”
~ tbc
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