[Part 3/4]
"But, I really don't want to ss with a god ten tis... guuuh!!?"
Right after criticizing myself, I kneel down. I'm gasping and groaning in pain. Damn it!! That damn spider... it didn't suck my blood!?
"Hyiii... guuuh, guuuh...!!?"
I'm forcing my rebellious body to obey. I take out a seal case (inro) from my pocket and hold its contents. A pill. A dark pill with a reddish tint. A pill for the heart.
"Guuuh...!!?"
With a sense of apology, I swallow it. It's horribly bitter and sharp. The taste makes nauseous. But I endure it, chewing it, and swallow it whole.
It's not an option to throw up. Considering what she sacrificed, what Hina paid for this pill, I can't just get rid of it...
* * *
...For a while now, Gorilla-sama's pills have been used to suppress my youkai-ization. Surprisingly, I never really paid attention to what they were made of. I knew they used valuable and expensive ingredients, but I never bothered to dig into the specifics. So, I didn't know just how much suffering I had caused my forr friend.
On the day I got this crazy task in Shiromoku-kan city, Hina ca with . That's when I found out the sacrifices she had made.
And then, facing a tough challenge of taking down a divine being hidden in treacherous mountains... The head of the family and his wife assigned this job. They gave the equipnt I needed, but right after that, they took away the idiotic spider. They said having such a thing could attract attention, but honestly, that was just a front. In reality, it was a way to push my youkai transformation along.
There was no room for fancy talks. Killing a divine being required extre asures, sothing I couldn't achieve without turning into a monster myself. It was like a death sentence. And losing the crucial child spider was like an insurance policy against failure.
Before I could even protest, the head of the family suggested there might be another way. He handed a bunch of pills. Seeing that there were more than usual, I wasn't convinced. But effects of the pills co all at once. Still, trying to "stay rational while staying youkai" wasn't easy. It was inconvenient, and I still wasn't satisfied.
"You seem pretty confident, huh? Taking our daughter's heart and thinking it's not a big deal?"
Lady Onitsuki spilled the beans and froze in my tracks. I didn't get it, so I looked at Hina. Her weak smile told everything.
I felt sick to my stomach, but I fought it off. No way could I be rude like that. But I was also scared. The crazy lord Onitsuki, the guy who adored Hina wouldn't let this slide... I was afraid and ready. "Strike first and win," those words echoed in my head.
"We can talk about that later. He's the victim. He didn't do anything wrong."
Hina's voice stopped and saved my life. After a short silence, the head of the family nodded. They told to leave. I waited in the next room.
A couple of hours later, she ca in. She talked. Said everything was fine. Her parents were convinced. The pills would keep coming.
Those things weren't the problem. All I could do was apologize. I felt bad for putting so much on Hina, for not knowing what she'd gone through, for being foolish. But she hugged .
She talked. Said nothing is wrong. She wouldn't keep suffering because of . If sacrificing a bit could help , she was okay with it. She hugged like a mother and comforted .
I didn't get it. Even if it ant getting better, could anyone just give up their heart?
Even the closest friends... it just wasn't possible.
But at my words, she laughed softly at my doubt. She hugged tighter. So close that I could feel her thin body against mine.
And then she whispered.
"Rember all those promises we made when we were kids?"...
Describing how I felt when I realized what she ant is tough. But one thing's for sure: she actually rembered those childhood promises. They were her lifeline, the reason she kept going. That's why she made such big sacrifices.
All for the sake of so childhood promises...
* * *
"Ugh, gulp!? Oof…!!?"
While rembering, my body gradually returns to being human. More accurately, it becos a human disguise. Struggling, sinking in the mud, I stay crouched in that spot for a while.
"Haah, haah, haah… darn it!!"
I don't know who or what I'm cursing. Maybe I'm cursing everything. Everything around is annoying, painful, and infuriating – myself and everything else.
Feeling so pathetic, it's really irritating.
"...Gah!? Is there... nothing left now?"
How long has it been? Gradually, I calm down, and the pain in my body fades. Amid the pouring rain, I get up from the muddy ground. My senses, once detached from humanity, sharpen. Even through the rain's noise, I hear it clearly. There's nothing anymore, at least nothing outside human understanding. Everything beyond what humans can grasp is gone.
So, I've fulfilled the given task.
"Gotta go... But still, I'm like a corporate slave, huh?"
I need to report to the couple. But first, I need a bit of ti. Can't just stay here forever. Can't afford such weak behavior.
Now, I remove the boundary. By the way, using my own heart for keystone, logically, wasn't wise. After all, I carved my own heart with my own engravings and letters. The thod? You know it, right?"
"Oh, ugh…!? Ugh, d*mn it!!"
Lifting the boundary takes a toll. My insides churn, and I vomit stomach acid due to the nausea. Of course, my blood mixes in. But it's no big deal; it's happened before. Anyway, after doing that, I stumble away from the scene. The bodies of countless monsters will be cleaned up by the couple or soone else later. They better send soone. I can't handle it alone.
"?... Who's this?"
Probably because of the heavy rain, I accidentally kick sothing and notice its presence. A fallen body – not a monster, a human corpse. The young man from Ezo, whom I stabbed in the stomach.
"..."
Most likely, this is one of the people behind this chaos. Many might have died because of this man. He even attacked . Even if I put all that aside, Yukine's safety might be at risk due to this chaos. That's unforgivable. He probably wouldn't even complain if I killed him. However, still...
"Haah, it's a bit late now."
It really is. Killing isn't new to , even if this is the first murder. I've killed plenty of his youkai companions before. It's quite amusing. Am I drunk on my actions?
I truly hate killing, and I regret it...
"...So, spare now?"
After hesitating, I drag the body into the mud. Looking around in the rain, I spot a large tree. I head there and place the body in its shade. Leaving it like an object isn't ideal; it would be tough to wake up that way. It's not a big deal, but it's better than rotting in the muddy water, right?
"Need to hurry, gotta go now..."
Pushing through sore muscles, I move forward. Towards her. To at least fulfill a small obligation to her, to whom I owe a debt of gratitude, at least to the extent that I can...
* * *
The journey back ho felt really tireso. Given how drained I was, it's no surprise. The path itself is usually tricky, but now it's all muddy from the rain. I've got to be careful; one wrong step and it's a disaster waiting to happen, like so stupid girl slipping and eting her end.
Finally, after a lot of effort, I get onto the main road. It's at the end of this country lane with morial mounds. And, for , it's where I need to be.
"...? She's not here?"
Looking around, I'm puzzled. This was the spot we were supposed to et. It hasn't been more than two hours since we planned to et up, so I should be in the clear.
But the ox cart is nowhere in sight. Did I ss sothing up? I can't help but get worried and glance around. I never know what Gorilla-sama might do if she's not happy.
"Princess… Princess!?"
In the middle of this pouring rain and darkness, I shout out. But even though I'm yelling, the rain's too loud. I keep looking, and keep searching.
"...Tomobe?"
"What!? Princess…!?"
I realize she's responding to my call and I go around to the back of the mound. Then I'm lost for words.
Right there, next to the mound, there's a girl sitting. She's getting soaked in the rain without even bothering with an umbrella. A pitiful sight. It's the princess... Onitsuki Aoi, Princess Aoi.
"Tomobe? So you're Tomobe?"
"Princess... why are you like this?"
Aoi doesn't reply to checking. She stands up and cos over to , like a ghost. She's staring at like she's seeing sothing unbelievable.
"You ca, right? You answered my plea...right?"
"Princess, where's the ox cart? Actually, forget that—why aren't you even under so shelter to avoid catching a cold in this rain?"
At first, I was thinking about how to cut ties with Aoi when I ca here. Having any kind of half-hearted connection while I'm sneaking into the enemy's territory is dangerous in all sorts of ways. I was trying to figure out how to calm her down and make her give up when she's furious about losing her stuff and people. But seeing this unexpected scene makes forget about all those plans.
Why is she doing this? Why's she looking like that? Why...why's she looking at the way she did that day?
"Why? Why are you the sa way? You'd bla even when I'm all wet and cold?"
"Bla...that's not..."
"Then, I suppose it's fine, right?"
There was no way to put it delicately. If it were her usual self, I might have been able to offer so advice, but the atmosphere she exuded now was anything but ordinary. It was eerily intense.
"...Understood. However, you can't keep doing this forever, can you? Where's the cart, the ox cart?"
"I can't bring sothing like that here. After all, I sneaked here secretly. Normally, I should be confined, you know?"
"Confined..."
This ti, Aoi's words leave dumbfounded. Not many can command her to do such things. And there's also the risk of her defying that... At least, I'm not the kind of person who make her to do that.
"Why, like this...?"
"To et you."
"For sothing like that...?"
"Sothing like that? No, it's different. There's nothing more important to than eting you."
Aoi's words only increase my confusion. I can't understand at all why she would say sothing like that.
"Let's get back soon. We can still cover this up. Considering Princess's position, it's urgent..."
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