We were stuck in traffic for quite a while driving from Gangnam to Mokdong in North West side of Seoul, a residential area with big apartnt complexes towering above like those battery cages where chickens for eggs are raised. Having grown up in Daejeon, a city about 2 hours drive to the South away from Seoul with only one tenth of the population, I couldn’t really imagine growing up in such places.
I lived in 30 stories tall officetel now too so it wasn’t much better, but when I was a child living in Yuseong District in the North West side of Daejeon, the tallest building was only 12 stories and there were maybe 20 of them in a complex. In comparison, each complex in Mokdong seed to have hundreds and there were many complexes here.
Such is the city life. I thought to myself.
Where we headed was a little removed from the area where things were densely packed though, perhaps more like at the edge of Mokdong. As we arrived, I realized we were at a ntal hospital.
"What’s going on here?" I asked Shin.
"Miho doesn’t seem to have any real physical issues now and the bigger problem for her now is the ntal health. She still has amnesia and now seems to be having so kind of major depression. This was the most logical choice."
My trust in Shin fluctuated. Sotis I thought he really cared for Miho like a real uncle - or perhaps more than an uncle but almost like a father, yet this was a guy who got into the contract of having my body as collateral and could waltz into the Organized Cri Departnt of a police station and casually walk out with a potential suspect - .
It was a small hospital with 5 floors only. We took an elevator to the 4th floor and entered the room 403.
I saw Miho laying on her bed. She was looking at the ceiling above her. I called out to her.
"Miho, I’m here."
The poor girl turned her head to grant a look, then turned back again to look at the ceiling.
"That’s an improvent," Shin remarked without cynicism. Perhaps when Shin or nurses co here she wouldn’t even look at them.
I suppose I must be honored.
I approached her carefully and sat next to her bed on a chair and held her hand. It felt cold and she had no strength at all as I lifted it up to clasp it with both my hands. She didn’t react in any way whatsoever either.
"How are you feeling?"
No answer.
This was a stark contrast from how pumped up she was the last ti I saw her, exercising and trying to get herself fit to protect - Dr. Yang - from an evil woman who was coming after her.
"What are you looking at?"
I asked her again with the gentlest voice I could manage and looked up at where her eyes gazed. There was obviously nothing there. It was a plain white ceiling that turned very slight beige.
I looked at Miho again and she still wasn’t moving at all. Her eyes were vacant and I wasn’t even sure if she was seeing anything at this point. She blinked every now and then as was natural for a human, but each of her blinks was a slow process that took 2 to 3 seconds.
I placed my palm on her forehead as if I was asuring her temperature, and traced the curve of her head to move it upward, stroking.
"Is there anything you want?"
Again, there was no answer.
I wasn’t sure how to communicate with her at this point when she was being so unresponsive. I looked over at Shin and he stood there looking at us expressionless, as if he was observing and waiting for so sort of a miracle that he’s given up on.
"I will be back shortly, Miho."
I whispered to her and walked out of the room, gesturing to Shin that he should follow . I closed the door behind us and we stood leaning against the wall on the hallway, side by side.
"Has it always been this bad?"
"Yes. But it fluctuates. She’d have a down period like this, but what you saw just now only lasted for a day or two. Then she’d be at least moving around a little for a few days, although not talkative, and then she’d lapse back to that state - almost like she’s comatose but with her eyes open. It goes back and forth a little and she’d get better."
My heart ached for her. I haven’t seen this side of Miho and when I found that she was seeing a psychiatrist, I just assud that it must have to do with her inability to control her temper or having fits of violent rage as I have witnessed at tis. Never had it crossed my mind that she was soone who’d suffer so much from inexplicable depression.
"What can we do about it?"
"Nothing. She is already taking anti-depressants and it is part of her dication, I learned - thanks to your effort last ti. It doesn’t seem to help and the doctors here say all we can do is give her ti."
I felt powerless despite my eagerness to help her.
Was there really nothing that I could do to make Miho happy again?
How can soone suddenly sink into that level of lifelessness without anything particular happening to her?
Or maybe there was sothing?
"Shin, tell - truthfully. Did anything happen after I left?"
"Nothing - truthfully. It’s just her bad cycle."
I started to feel the sa lifelessness in my body. It wasn’t as if my life energy was being drained out of , but a sense of emptiness and resignation to defeat was growing.
"How long do we need to keep her here? Maybe she feels better if we move to a better environnt, like where we were last ti."
"It would be nicer for her to be staring at nature than the damned ceiling, for sure. So, yes."
"Why don’t we do it then?"
"Rember - our work isn’t finished yet. Maybe after this weekend, we can think about it. After we are done at the Studio."
Life gives and life takes.
I hoped that taking one life would bring Miho back.
Reviews
All reviews (0)