“I know why I’m here.”
The girl who said that had no expression on her face.
She had spent the last three days locked in a small, dark room, unwashed and half-starved, before being tossed into a shaking van.
Her stomach felt like it had been hollowed out, and her mouth tasted like ash. But she never once shut her eyes.
It had been so ti since she was thrown into this place, surrounded by soft-colored wallpaper. Still, the stiffness in her neck hadn’t relaxed even a little.
She just sat across from the psychiatrist in a white coat, slowly picking at the scabs on her lips.
“I got into a fight at the orphanage. I was the only one who didn’t cry. That’s why I’m here.”
“I see.”
The doctor began scribbling sothing with a silver pen.
“But you look like you got hurt too.”
“This? It’s nothing.”
These scratches were nothing. The way the doctor overreacted to such minor injuries was kind of amusing. What a weakling, she thought.
“The ones I hit ended up worse.”
“How many did you hit?”
“Five.”
“......”
“I broke one’s arm, slamd another to the ground, kicked one in the butt, choked one, and tripped the last one.”
She counted off on her fingers as she spoke, her tone completely flat.
“I see. And how did you feel when your friends started crying?”
“It was funny.”
“Why was it funny?”
The doctor’s hand moved quickly over the paper. The girl didn’t take her eyes off the gliding silver pen.
“Because they were crying just from getting hurt. Stupid, right? That’s not sothing to cry about. You’re supposed to endure it. That’s how you get stronger. I heard bones get tougher when they break and heal.”
“......”
“I hit my own shins with tree branches to toughen them up. Eventually, they’ll be as hard as tal.”
For the first ti, a trace of pride flickered across her otherwise blank face.
“I heard that’s how fighters train. Want to see my shins?”
“Do you want to beco a fighter?”
“No.”
“Then why do you train like that?”
“......”
She went quiet. The girl, who’d been talking nonstop like a little bird, suddenly clamped her mouth shut. She tilted her head slightly, as if the question had never even occurred to her.
The doctor waited patiently for her to find her own answer.
Do they teach ballet in orphanages these days? She carried herself with such grace and perfect posture, like a child from an aristocratic family. Her delicate features and long lashes made her look just like a doll.
“Because I can’t let go.”
“What do you an?”
“......It’s the only thing I have. I don’t have a mom or a dad or even a hotown anymore. If I let go of the one thing I learned with my own hands, then I’ll be completely alone.”
The words were vague, but the doctor understood them imdiately.
“That’s why I like what’s mine.”
And for the first ti, her dull eyes sparked with sothing intense.
“I don’t have anything precious now, but when I grow up and find sothing—soone—really important, I’ll give them everything. I’ll treat them so well. I’ll cherish them with all I’ve got.”
“That’s admirable.”
“And I’ll never let them go.”
“...What?”
The doctor glanced up, a beat too late. That’s when the conversation started to twist.
“Because they’ll be mine.”
“......”
“I’ll make sure they never leave . If they do, I’ll bring them back. If they run, I’ll find them again and keep them by my side.”
Her hungry eyes simred with raw, desperate longing.
...Shit. The doctor fought the urge to press a hand to his forehead.
“Kiddo, no matter how much you love soone, you can’t force them to stay.”
“Why not?”
She tilted her head again, eyes wide with innocence.
“Because people and love—those aren’t things you can own. I know it might be hard to understand now, but loving soone doesn’t an possessing them.”
“But I only want one thing. Just one thing that’ll never disappear. I want sothing that belongs to and only . Just one thing in the whole world.”
She was stubborn. And desperate. And starving for love.
Maybe that was why—because she’d known nothing but emptiness—she had the instinct of soone who could sniff out exactly what she needed. That sharp intuition was almost like a predator’s.
The doctor lowered his pen and looked into her trembling eyes.
“Then you’ll have to learn how.”
“Learn what?”
“How not to ss up when you finally et soone you care about. If you’re too aggressive, they’ll get scared. We lose the people we love most with the smallest of mistakes.”
The girl raised her tiny hand to her face, as if even imagining soone leaving her felt like being stabbed in the gut.
No... I can’t lose anything else... Not again...
“That’s why you always have to be careful with people.”
The doctor was just taking a satisfied sip of tea when—
“What if I hit my shins even more?”
He choked and spat it out, splattering tea all over his chin and clothes. But she didn’t even flinch. Her big, pretty eyes sparkled with sincerity.
“I can’t hurt sothing precious to . But what if their legs get strong and they leave anyway?”
“......!”
“I have to get stronger. Strong enough to bring them back, no matter what.”
For a split second, sothing flickered on her blank face. Not quite a smile, but the corner of her lips twitched upward.
“I’ll bring them back.”
There was sothing strange in her eyes. Sothing obsessive. Unshakable.
—
From that first eting on, Han Seoryeong started visiting once a month.
She never stopped getting into fights. Not a single day went by without fresh bruises on her body.
Then one day, she was discovered to have a talent for gymnastics. She started entering competitions. But during high school, sothing happened—sothing bad. She dropped out. Failed her college entrance exams.
When she left the orphanage as an adult, she was forced to jump straight into the job market.
Still, she kept coming to therapy. When she couldn’t visit in person, they’d talk briefly on the phone.
In ti, the thick folder of session notes grew into a complete record of Han Seoryeong’s life.
Eventually, she earned a massage license using the skills she picked up from gymnastics and spent years working as a caregiver.
The job was tough. But the regular pay and the quiet stability made her happy.
But life doesn’t care about stability.
“Doctor, I’m getting married next month.”
She showed up after years, holding a white cane for the blind. And yet her face looked like it held the [N O V E L I G H T] whole world.
A brightness the doctor had never seen in her before lit up her entire expression. She blushed and shyly held out a wedding invitation that slled faintly of flowers.
You found your person, didn’t you?
The doctor exclaid with a laugh, and her eyes filled with quiet, happy tears.
Please, please be happy.
But the next ti the doctor saw her—
Was on the 9 o’clock news.
Reviews
All reviews (0)