Ashleigh struggled over the events of the past several days. Ti was jumbled together in overlapping images and disconnected mories. Each mont entangled with another until she could hardly tell them apart.
What was real? What had she imagined?
Bell had told her repeatedly that the sickness had altered her moods, mories, even her reasoning. What she did or said while it was happening wasn’t her fault.
Yet, the things Ashleigh could rember concerned her. There was an image of Galen on the ground, his eyes pained. Blood on his hand.
Caleb had made her pulse race; she had stood in the cold desperately waiting for him. Her mind had been consud with fear that he would bla her for Galen’s injury.
And then he stabbed her in the heart.
“No…” Ashleigh whispered to herself, shaking her head. “That wasn’t real.”
She got up from her bed and went to the bathroom. First, splashing cold water on her face to help her focus. Then, looking into her own eyes in the mirror, she tried to get her thoughts straight.
“My heart stopped,” she said quietly, “real.”
“I was… stabbed… in the heart, not real.” Even knowing it was a dream, the words were hard to say. And the fear Ashleigh had felt was still very genuine.
Granger flashed in her mind, looking up at her, his face covered in bruises in the hospital room.
“Real,” she said sadly.
‘I swear, Ash, I thought it was a practice arrow! I just ant to surprise him, to hit him and make him lose focus long enough that I could get away. I didn’t an to hurt him! Not really.’ Granger’s words, and the tears he had shed with them, entered her mind.
“Real?” she said, unsure of why it was a question..
A warmth stirred in her body, a mory floating to the surface.
‘I’m here with you, Ashleigh,’ Caleb whispered softly against her throat, his warm breath tickling her nerves and sending another burst of pleasure that reached down to her toes.
His mouth pressed delicate kisses behind her ear and trailed down the nape of her neck, drawing forth small gasps and moans of delight from her.
She inhaled sharply, gripping the counter tightly as her knees grew weak from the ripples of warmth that traveled the length of her body.
“Not… real…” she whispered heavily, her eyes closed.
Once more, Ashleigh splashed water on her face to regain her senses.
“This isn’t getting anywhere,” she growled to herself.
Sitting in her room and picking apart every mory or image that found its way into her thoughts was pointless. And it angered her. She needed to breathe.
Ashleigh quickly changed into her sparring gear. At this ti of the day, there was bound to be soone on the training grounds. Therefore, she needed a sparring session.
The cold air on the way to the training grounds had been refreshing. The breeze felt like tiny needles crashing into her skin, each painful prick waking her a little bit more from the frazzled state of her mind.
She arrived at the training grounds in ti to see the younger wolves finishing up their session.
Her mind traveled back in ti to what felt like a lifeti ago, though in truth, it was only a few years. To all the training, the extra sessions, the broken bones. When her classmates would run freely through the forest, she would be here, training.
Ashleigh had trained harder than most other wolves. Her ti on the mountainside in the blizzard had emblazoned a harsh reality on her soul. Only the strong survive.
From the mont she returned, she had spent all her ti training. Struggling to be the strongest, the best.
The rabbit that had saved her life, nourishnt to make it down the mountainside. All these years, she had believed it was a sign, a ssage from the Goddess. The weak rabbit had died in the blizzard, while Ashleigh, the wolf, had survived.
Barely.
That was the foundation of her entire mindset as a Cold Warrior, as a Berserker. To shed her weakness. To never again feel the looming presence of death waiting for her in the shadow of her failures. But, instead, to take it by the throat and choose to live. Just like she had the rabbit.
But she knew the truth now.
The rabbit hadn’t been a ssage from the Goddess about the strength of survival. Instead, it was a gift from Caleb. The boy that had feared the wolf but fed it anyway.
‘I didn’t save myself that day. The Goddess didn’t save …’ she thought to herself, ‘Caleb did, and he doesn’t even know it.’
“Ashleigh,” a recognizable voice called to her.
Ashleigh turned to find Saul behind her. They silently greeted each other.
“What are you doing here?” Ashleigh asked, “Aren’t you still on leave?”
“I was,” he said, “but I am the next ranked Berserker after you.”
Ashleigh stared back at him with confusion.
“So?” she said.
“So, I am the logical choice to replace you,” he answered.
“Replace ?” Ashleigh asked, unsure what he ant. She wondered if she had forgotten sothing. “For what?”
“Training Alpha Caleb.”
Ashleigh took a step back, surprised, confused.
“What?”
Now it was Saul who seed confused.
“I received orders from Alpha Wyatt last night,” Saul replied, “I am to take your place in training Alpha Caleb as a Berserker.”
“But I have the highest ranking.”
“Yes, I know.”
“The agreent between our people was that Alpha Caleb being their strongest warrior, would train . Which he did,” Ashleigh stated. “And our highest ranked Berserker is ant to train him.”
“Yes, I know,” Saul sighed.
“I have the highest ranking.”
Saul did not answer, only raising his eyebrow.
“I don’t understand.”
Ashleigh crossed her arms, irritated and angry.
“I do not know why the assignnt was given to , only that it was,” Saul answered.
Saul moved toward the training grounds. He stopped just after passing by her. He took a breath and then turned back to her.
“If I were to guess,” he said, perking Ashleigh’s interest. “I might say that perhaps Granger’s actions and your connection to him has created a situation that Alpha Wyatt feels could beco a problem.”
“Granger’s actions?” Ashleigh questioned. Imdiately feeling irritated by his choice of words.
Saul nodded.
“I don’t know what you heard, but Granger was the victim! Galen attacked him without cause!” Ashleigh shouted defensively.
Saul looked down at her. He wanted to simply walk away, didn’t care to get involved, just as he hadn’t wanted to speak with Granger that night. But he couldn’t. Not when good people were being falsely accused.
“You are wrong.”
“What?” Ashleigh was surprised. She had expected him to walk away. Maybe a grunt in response at most.
“I don’t know what you have heard,” Saul stated. “But you are wrong if you believe that Galen was unprovoked or that Granger was a victim.”
“No, Granger told –”
“What he wanted you to hear,” Saul interrupted, now feeling irritated.
Saul moved closer to Ashleigh. He stood before her and tried to show her that he had no motives, only the truth through his words and actions.
“I was at the training grounds that night. I ca to speak with him about so of the n in his command and their behavior.”
“Yes, he told .”
“Did he?” Saul questioned, “did he tell you his response?”
Ashleigh didn’t understand, “he told you he would talk to the n about the problem.”
“No,” Saul said flatly.
“Maybe you misunderstood–”
“There is no misunderstanding,” Saul said, no longer trying to control his irritation. “Not only did Granger not care about the poor behavior of his n, but he also encouraged it.”
“That’s not possible,” Ashleigh shook her head, feeling her breakfast turning in her stomach.
“I saw Beta Galen approaching as our conversation was getting inappropriate,” Saul continued. “I gave Granger another opportunity to show any kind of respect to anyone. Instead, he chose to insult Alpha Caleb and make his true character known to .”
“How did he insult Caleb?” she asked unintentionally.
“He said that Alpha Caleb was ‘another wolf that needs to learn not to touch what doesn’t belong to him,” Saul let out a disgusted grunt. “I knew that Beta Galen heard his words. I knew what would co next. So, I warned Granger he would receive a lesson in respect before I walked away.”
Ashleigh brought her hand to her mouth, feeling sick. Everything Granger had told her about that night was a twisted lie. She had believed him; she had thrown accusations at Galen without a thought. Hurt him, hurt Caleb.
For nothing.
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