“Do you want to talk about it?” Ashleigh asked.
Caleb turned to look at her beside him on the bed. She lay on her side, with her head on the pillow. The sheet pulled up to cover her naked breasts. Ashleigh smiled at him. It was a soft and tired smile.
He had woken her from her sleep and kept her awake for hours as he devoured her.
It was not a strange or unique behavior by any ans. Even before his disappearance, their shared appetite for each other was never quite satisfied. No matter how exhausted their bodies grew.
But this had been different.
His need to be with her, to imrse himself in their bond, had bordered on desperation. Even Caleb wasn’t entirely sure why it had co over him so quickly. He always enjoyed the process of getting her ready for him, of building her need for him slowly before succumbing to his baser desires.
“Did I hurt you?” he asked, quietly looking away from her.
Ashleigh let out a soft chuckle.
“Now you ask?” she said.
Caleb closed his eyes as guilt and regret began to co over him.
“Of course you didn’t,” she said.
He turned to her, and she smiled again.
“Even when you aren’t entirely in your right mind,” she smiled, “you still treat with care.”
Caleb sighed and reached his hand out to gently touch her cheek.
“You an everything to ,” he whispered. “I never wanted to hurt you.”
Ashleigh moved her head to lean into his hand.
“Pain is a part of life,” she said. “We can’t avoid it forever.”
“I know,” Caleb whispered back.
A gentle quiet passed between them.
“How was it?” Ashleigh asked. “Seeing Galen and Fiona?”
Caleb took a deep breath and let out a heavy sigh. He pulled his hand back and turned to lay back on the mattress, resting his head on the pillow beside her.
“It was good,” he said quietly. “Better, I think, than I expected.”
Ashleigh adjusted her pillow, raising her head to see his face better.
“And…?”
Caleb chuckled and looked away.
“Yeah… ok,” he said. “Harder, too.”
He took another deep breath.
“I knew it wasn’t going to be easy,” he said, “I was prepared for it not to be easy…. But… I didn’t expect to feel so… heavy.”
Ashleigh reached her hand out and touched his arm. Caleb smiled.
“But it was good…” he said softly. “It really was…”
He swallowed and chuckled.
“I expected my mom to slap ,” he laughed.
Ashleigh laughed with him.
“Really?” she asked.
“Oh yeah,” he said, a smile still on his face. “I was sure of it… dreading it, honestly.”
He sighed again.
“She’s strong… strategic. I have always known the danger of getting on her bad side. She can be scary,” he said. Then, looking at Ashleigh, he added, “As you know.”
Ashleigh smiled and nodded.
“I can take a hit if I need to, and she can yell at all she wants,” Caleb continued, “but the thing I have always feared is getting slapped by her.”
“Why?” Ashleigh asked.
Caleb paused, taking a deep breath through his nose.
“My parents were both very smart with very strong opinions on everything. They loved each other greatly and were an amazing team,” he said. “They fought from ti to ti, but no matter how angry they got at each other or how loud they yelled, I always knew they were fine. Even the ti or two they settled an argunt through combat.”
Ashleigh furrowed her brow.
Caleb noticed.
“Not kidding,” he laughed. “Like I said, strong opinions.”
Ashleigh laughed and nodded.
“Okay, so why does that make a slap the scarier option?” she asked.
Caleb looked away.
“Because,” he said softly. “My mom, who isn’t shy about stating her mind or killing her enemies… has a tough ti expressing her own pain.”
Caleb swallowed, thinking back to the day he saw his mother walking away as his father chased after her, begging her to listen, to understand.
“I saw her slap my dad once,” he said.
They had been arguing about Cain’s research trips. They had beco increasingly frequent in the last year he was alive. Fiona was tired of his constant disappearance. She had enough and finally made it clear that he needed to put the pack and his family ahead of whatever he was researching.
Caleb didn’t hear precisely how Cain tried to justify leaving again because his words were cut off when Fiona slapped him hard across the face.
The sound echoed down the hallway. Caleb’s eyes widened in surprise as he observed his parents. His father stood like a statue, completely shocked by Fiona’s actions.
But Fiona… she gasped, shook, and then cried.
She took deep and heavy breaths, bringing her hands over her face as she fell back against the wall. The sound of her sobs slipping out between her fingers. Slowly, she lowered herself to the ground, her entire body shook with her tears.
From down the hall, Caleb felt his heart squeeze painfully at the sight.
Cain rushed forward. He sat before her and pulled her into his arms, holding her close and whispering his apologies.
Caleb could never forget how vulnerable his warrior mother had looked in that mont. How her body had shaken, and how the sound of her tears had pierced his heart.
“I asked him about it afterward,” he whispered. “He told that he failed to see how much my mom had been suffering.”
Caleb took a deep breath.
“That her heart had been crying out for a long ti, but he couldn’t hear it until she made him listen.”
Caleb closed his eyes.
“Are you okay?” Ashleigh’s soft voice called to him.
He turned and looked at her.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered sadly.
Ashleigh furrowed her brows and got up on one elbow.
“For what?” she asked.
“The past five years,” he said softly.
Ashleigh sighed.
“Caleb, that’s not—”
“I know,” he smiled, though his eyes glistened with tears. “I know it’s not my fault.”
He took a deep breath and looked away.
“But I still hate knowing that all the people I love suffered for so long because of ,” he said. “That your…”
He paused, taking a shaky breath. He sniffled and turned to et her eyes.
“That your heart… was crying out… and I couldn’t hear it.”
Ashleigh didn’t know if anything she could say would ease his pain. She reached up and wiped a tear from his eye.
“Yes,” she whispered. “We’ve all suffered, and my heart has been in pieces since I landed outside the portal in Winter.”
Caleb clenched his jaw and took a deep breath through his nose.
“But… you must believe … I know this better than anyone,” she continued.
Ashleigh paused, bit down on her bottom lip, and then breathed deeply.
“We have to move forward,” she smiled. “Looking back and trying to change what has already happened… it only leads to more pain… trust .”
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