Ashleigh swallowed and took a shaky breath.
“I’m sorry…” she whispered.
She knew he would be disappointed. She knew if their roles had been reversed and she had been lost instead. Coming back and finding out that Caleb had abandoned his duties as Alpha would have disappointed and infuriated her.
How could he not be disappointed?
“I’m sorry,” she said again, “I couldn’t do it… I tried to stay... I tried to find a way to move forward like everyone else, but… I couldn’t.”
Hot tears ran down her cheeks.
“Fiona tried to get involved. She tried to teach about being Luna… for two months, I tried to listen. I tried to learn and to do what needed to be done… but it was too much.”
Ashleigh let out a sob and pulled away from Caleb.
“It was too much, Caleb…” she whispered. “I wasn’t ready before you disappeared. How could I possibly be ready when you were gone?”
Caleb took a step toward her, but she turned with angry tears.
“How could anyone think that I could lead a pack?!” She shouted. “How could anyone ever trust after the things I did? Myka, Stefan, Sadie… all the other children, and that scout… I cost that man his life.”
She let out a loud sob and brought her hands to cover her face as she sniffled and cried.
“Ash…” Caleb whispered, moving closer.
Ashleigh took a deep breath and dropped her hands. She swallowed and wiped her tears. Staring at Caleb through eyes filled with tears and a look of fierce determination and strength.
“I am a warrior,” Ashleigh stated. A shaky breath escaped her lips. “I belong on a battlefield. Keeping the enemy at bay, protecting the borders and the people… that is what I am good at… and that is all that I could do.”
She licked her lips and took another deep breath.
“So, when I heard they needed people to put down the monsters… I didn’t just volunteer. No," she said with a shake of her head, “the instant I heard, I didn’t think about it. I didn’t consider my options. I ran as fast as possible to put my na on that list.”
Ashleigh clenched her jaw, tears still rolling down her cheeks, and she took short breaths through her nose.
To anyone else, she would have looked angry and offended at having to explain her reasoning for doing sothing that made sense.
But to Caleb… she looked scared.
“Ashleigh,” he called to her.
He didn’t move toward her now. Instead, he stretched his hand to her and smiled gently.
Ashleigh swallowed, her heart beating rapidly in her chest. She reached out hesitantly and took his hand.
Caleb pulled her into his arms and held her close. He laid his head on hers and let out a heavy breath.
“Ashleigh,” he whispered, petting her hair as he spoke, “I’m not mad or upset with you... I understand.”
Ashleigh furrowed her brows. She pushed him away just enough to be able to look up at him.
“You do?” she asked.
Caleb touched her cheek and smiled. He took a deep breath and hugged her.
“Every wolf hears about the mate bond as a child,” he began as he stroked the hair that hung down her back. “About the day they will find their fated love. Their other half. The person ant to be by their side in this and every life.”
Caleb paused, holding a strand of her honeyed hair between his fingers.
“What I heard was different,” he said. “My parents loved each other. They were affectionate and happy. But, whenever they talked to about my future, they talked about how I would et my Luna.”
Caleb smiled.
“The one that would lead Sumr at my side,” he continued. “The one that would help take our pack into the future. The partner that could ease my burdens and carry the weight of our pack with .”
Ashleigh turned her head to lay against his chest as she listened.
“Most of my life, that is all I expected from the idea of eting my mate,” he said. “A partner, a Luna. Nothing more, nothing less.”
Ashleigh closed her eyes and bit her lip to keep from crying. She had failed to et the most basic requirents as his mate. When he had needed her most, she had run away.
Caleb felt the sorrow settling over her. He pulled back and lifted her chin to look at him.
“The day I t you,” he whispered, “was nothing like that.”
Ashleigh furrowed her brows. She swallowed as she looked into his silvery eyes. The heat that stared back at her was enough to make her gasp.
“When I felt you…” he whispered, leaning in to touch their heads together. “As I searched for you… I never, not once, considered what you would be to my pack.”
Caleb’s hands settled on her shoulders, squeezing her gently before moving down her arms.
“Sumr was the furthest thing from my mind as I followed the pull of our bond… as I desperately fought to be nearer to you…”
Ashleigh licked her lips, desperately needing water or sothing to drink.
“When I found you,” he continued, leaning in so the heat of his words trailed on her lips, “I ached for you… to touch you, to breathe you in, to hold you.”
Their lips hovered only inches apart, their breaths mingling as Caleb squeezed Ashleigh’s arms and pulled her body to his.
“Not being able to show that to you… Being unable to keep you by my side for every second of every day that followed hurt far worse than any wound or pain I had experienced.”
Ashleigh was being drawn into him. The bond between them, the emotions and feelings they shared. Her body felt like tiny sparks of electricity were running over her skin.
“You were the daughter of an enemy, claiming another wolf as your mate,” Caleb sighed with a smile. "You ran away from for months..."
He drew in a deep breath and looked into her eyes. The dark swirls of his desire made her heart race.
“As an Alpha… I should have rejected you,” he whispered.
Ashleigh felt a painful stab in her heart at the thought. She turned her gaze away from him.
“But the thing is…” Caleb growled, his hands moving down to her hips and holding her against him. “I never desired a Luna…”
Ashleigh swallowed and looked up at him again. The desire was still there, the hunger and need for her that never seed satisfied.
But what she saw when she looked at him now was sothing more. Warmth, affection, and love.
“I only wanted you,” he said. “Always you… only you.”
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