"I can answer your question," said Raelle. "But why should I?"
Song Xin'ai went quiet before saying, "Maybe because I'm curious."
"Then I'm also curious about sothing, would you like to hear what it is?" asked Raelle.
Song Xin'ai looked into her eyes but couldn't guess her thoughts. She was too difficult to read and Song Xin'ai found it baffling. But still nodded her head, "Go ahead. If I can, I'll give you an answer."
"Why did you get a divorce?" asked Raelle.
Not just Song Xin'ai but even Shui Xian was taken aback by that question. They didn't think Raelle would be asking this. It didn't make any sense. Why would Raelle be interested in this question when she wasn't even interested in her parents? Why be curious about their relationship?
"I..." Song Xin'ai opened her mouth but couldn't continue. She really didn't think she'd be faced with this question.
"I heard you loved him very much," continued Raelle when she didn't hear a reply from Song Xin'ai. "So, what changed your mind?"
"What changed my mind? Who said I stopped loving him?" asked Song Xin'ai. "But love is not enough sotis." She thought about it for a mont before saying, "I didn't divorce him because love was no longer there. Or that we grew apart after years of our marriage. Even if we had little ti with each other, it was worth it. However, things change. I didn't give up on our love or our him or our relationship. I was just giving up on..."
"On yourself," Raelle completed her words for her. Song Xin'ai looked into her eyes and nodded.
She suddenly chuckled to herself, "I find it really interesting how the person who seems to understand is you. I never thought it'd be like this."
"Maybe your ntal state during the ti you were pregnant with affected ," said Raelle nonchalantly.
"Who knows?" retorted Song Xin'ai. "I don't think we can explain any of this."
"Now, I'll tell you why I didn't beco a scientist," said Raelle. "It's partially the sa reason that was behind your divorce."
Song Xin'ai was stunned for a mont. She didn't explain anything in her opinion but it seed Raelle understood everything.
"Aren't you very lonely, Dr. Song?" asked Raelle. "Being stuck in the lab for months, completely cut off from the rest of the world. Doesn't it feel weird?"
Song Xin'ai closed her eyes and when she opened her eyes, she looked at Raelle, "Are you scared of being lonely?"
"No," answered Raelle. "I am fine with being alone. But I'm not just living for myself. Very early in my life, I realized that my life isn't just mine. It belongs to my Opa who ca to check up on every night twice. Just to see if I'm sleeping well. It belongs to my Yanyan who dedicated every minute of her life to making sure she was enough for . Do you know that I got kidnapped from the science fair because of my intelligence? You must have heard how this genius daughter of yours was very sought after back then. I was too young but I was still targeted. It had no effect on , but when I saw how scared my Opa and Yanyan were because of that, I understood what I had to do in life."
She took a pause and added, "I'm not blaming them for my choices. At most, they influenced sowhat to find my direction in life. But it's a fact that I never had dreams. The only reason I joined those science fairs was that I was good at science. I had never been wrong with my calculations. I did all those experints just because I could, not because I liked doing it." She continued to look at Song Xin'ai's face as she went on, "I chose business, not because it was safer. I was never scared of people or what they might do to because of my brilliance. At one point, I might have been just scared of myself. My own brain and my ideas. You see, I have never been a kind person."
Song Xin'ai didn't dare ask her to explain why she was scared of her own self. Actually, she could understand it more than anyone. Being a scientist, she really understood Raelle. But knowing that her daughter got kidnapped just because she shone brighter than her peers really hurt.
"You made the right choice," said Song Xin'ai. "You're a very good businesswoman I heard. Unparalleled one. You were ant to shine in this field."
"My Opa once said that I'll shine wherever I'll stand. So it didn't matter what I do in life, it won't change the fact that I'm a gem. Yes, he loves to boast about like that."
Song Xin'ai nodded, "He was right. There is no doubt that you'd find a way to shine wherever you stand."
"Dr. Song, do you think you made the right choice with your divorce?" asked Raelle.
"I don't know," replied Song Xin'ai. "Maybe not. But we can all make wrong decisions in life. Mine might have been my impulse to get that divorce. However, it's a choice I made. I don't think there is a point in questioning my choices now."
Her eyes inadvertently turned to Shui Xian who had his head down and added, "The only regret in human life is ti. We always feel like ti was never enough or wondered if we could turn back the ti to change our past and make a different choice. But they say all roads lead to Ro. So why do we think that if we made different choices, we won't regret those choices as well?"
Raelle was listening to her attentively and Song Xin'ai already noticed that whatever you say, Raelle seed to give you full attention when she is talking to you. And she not only listened, she understood each and every word of yours and the thoughts behind those words. Who knew talking to her would be so comfortable? Even though they had no bond between them? Maybe that's why she was the special one.
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