This ti, Mu Chenyan really couldn't control her tears and they fell down. She put her forehead against his knee and shed silent tears.
She knew he was right. She knew it all too well and that's why she hated it when he brought up this topic. She just said she was luckiest to have two pairs of parents but it also ca with the double loss. She didn't have to go through the pain of losing her parents once but twice. And the longest ti she spent was with Grandfather Xiang. Even if she said she loved her godmother more, it was a fact that she seed to care more about her godfather. And it was truly painful for her to just imagine a day without him. "What happened here?" asked Xiang Hulin. He looked at Mu Chenyan's trembling shoulders and was startled, "Chenchen! Are you crying? What's wrong?" He held her shoulders and pulled her up, "Tell , what's up? Huh? Who made you cry? Who is that capable?"
Mu Chenyan hugged her brother as if she found support and pointed at Grandfather Xiang, "This man made cry! He made cry like this."
Xiang Hulin was surprised by this answer and looked at his father, "Dad, what did you do?"
"Nothing," responded Grandfather Xiang lightly. "I just thought she should cry here instead of crying later in front of the younger generation. They won't be able to accept the wreck she becos when she really sheds tears."
Mu Chenyan gave him a hard glare but with her red eyes and tear-stained face, it had a very different effect.
Xiang Hulin looked at his father helplessly, "Dad, of all days, can't you not bully Chenchen today? Mom would not like it. Don't be an to my sister. That's not good."
Grandfather Xiang sighed and beckoned Mu Chenyan, "Co here."
Mu Chenyan hesitated but still went over. He patted her head lovingly and said, "Why are you crying? This is so not like you."
"I was already sad coming here. You made it worse for ."
"I know. It's all my fault. How can I not understand your feelings when this day cos every year? But my dear daughter, you're the strong and brave daughter we raised. I don't like seeing you cry and neither did your godmother. Calm down a little. I'm still here."
"Then don't talk about leaving too," she still ntioned it persistently.
"I said I'll try."
"You're not trying hard enough."
Grandfather Xiang pinched her nose, "Go and wash your face. How embarrassing it is to cry like this!"
Mu Chenyan hmphed at him and walked away. Xiang Hulin followed behind her and asked, "What's wrong? What did Dad say to make you cry like this?"
Mu Chenyan turned to look at him and told him honestly, "He said I should be prepared to say goodbye to him for good. Because no matter how we drag this ti, it'll eventually co and I will have to say goodbye to him. He said of all people here, I'm gonna have the most difficult ti saying goodbye to him when the ti cos. So, I should be ntally prepared for a day without him in the future."
Xiang Hulin didn't know what to say at the mont. He didn't even know how to comfort her in this situation. "And it's not even the first ti, he is telling this. He's been doing it for a while now. But I'm not okay with it no matter how many tis he says it. Is it that easy to accept this truth? No, it isn't. I don't know what is worse. Suddenly having to say goodbye to my godmother or watching my godfather's health deteriorating slowly in front of my eyes. I really can't tell which one hurts more."
Xiang Hulin hugged her in his arms and let her cry for a mont. He patted her back soothingly and said, "It hurts either way. Doesn't it matter which one is worse? When the pain and the void it's gonna leave is the sa. Don't take his words to heart so much and make yourself a emotional wreck. When did you get so sentintal?"
"I am emotional when it cos to people I love. And he... He is my father! He raised ."
Xiang Hulin didn't say more because he understood her very well. He really didn't know how to comfort her but he could give her a hug. It was this silence hug that he felt like she needed the most right now. "Shh... That's enough now. We don't know what's in the future. But he is still with us. So, stop hurting yourself with fictional scenarios. Everyone has to leave eventually. Can you be sure that it'd be Dad would leave first or it'd be one of us? You can't be certain about this."
What else could he say right now? He could only think of this. One thing his father said right, it'd really be this sister of his who is gonna be hit hard once sothing happens to Xiang Tianyu. Even if he was sitting in that wheelchair for years, his existence, his presence alone was a huge support to her. Mu Chenyan pulled out of his arms and took a deep breath, "Right. He is still here. I still have a father. Why am I crying? I'm no longer a kid who needs a father. I'm already so old. If I had married at the right ti, I might even have a grown up kid of my own. It's really not my age to cry for my parents."
Xiang Hulin patted her shoulder, "There is no age for missing your parents. No matter what ti or what age you are at, no one can bla you for missing or crying for your parents. Parents are just that kind of a special existence in this world."
Mu Chenyan gave him a strained smile and turned to wet a towel with the cold water before placing it on her face. It was so embarrassing to cry like a kid. What the hell happened to her emotions today?
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