Even though Shui Xian had ntally prepared himself to hear sothing like that when he asked her to continue, his mind still crashed.
His lips parted but before he could say anything, she interrupted him.
"Before you tell I'm being compassionless, don't bother. I have heard it way too many tis already," she told him in a candid manner. "I can't relate to the grief of losing soone but that doesn't an I'd make fun of soone's grief. Although I do believe that death is indeed a part of life, I also believe that everyone needs an escape from their grief before it consus them. There is nothing wrong with crying over the loss of soone you cared about. Just because I can't understand it, I won't mock anyone for understanding it. However, you can't go and play dead with the dead."
Her tongue darted out to lick her dry lips as she went on, "I heard people say that more than the dead, one should be scared of the people who had died inside. At least, the dead move on after the funeral and can rest in peace. It's the people who have to live with dead souls who are left restless for life."
Shui Xian's eyes flashed with an indescribable emotion as he took her hand in his own and told her, "I had a Bichon Frise. We nad her Twilight."
It didn't take long for Raelle to catch on to the peculiarity of his words. "We?"
He nodded his head as he went, "We ans and my ex-wife. In fact, when we brought Twilight ho, we weren't even dating at that ti. We were just childhood friends." Shui Xian tried to find any change in her expression but couldn't find it. He didn't know whether to feel relieved about that or...
With a ntal sigh, he went on, "Actually, it happened when we were 14-15, I think. One night, we were coming back ho together when we found Twilight under a bench in the cold night. The poor baby was shivering so badly. So cruel person abandoned her there. So, we took her to the vet. And since we found her on a twilight night, we nad her Twilight. Pretty dumb, I think!"
Raelle looked at the way he chuckled at himself at the end but didn't say anything to disturb him. He was clearly having a walk down the mory lane and she didn't feel like disturbing him. Because she could certainly see the emotions surging in his eyes that he had experienced back then. It sohow made her a part of that mory even though she wasn't there back then. But currently, she was the one walking down that mory lane with him.
"Twilight died a month before our divorce was finalized," he finished his words in a heavy tone. Anyone could tell that he was holding back his emotions that he felt intensely. After all, Twilight wasn't just a dog to him. He had spent so many years with her. She was a part of his life.
However, since Raelle couldn't really detect the change in his voice, she still managed to catch on to his feelings because of the way his hand tightened around hers. She ntally went through all that she knew about emotions and ca to the conclusion; he was missing either the dog or the ti that had passed.
"When the doctor said we couldn't save Twilight, I was really upset and scared as well. I didn't want to let her go but eventually, I had no other choice."
"I think your Twilight managed to live till this day," said Raelle startling Shui Xian as he looked at her. "She left a ripple in your mories. And as long as she is living in your mories, she can't be considered dead." Raelle looked into his brown eyes and went on, "And you weren't scared to let her go. You're scared to let go of the youth you spent with her. You were scared of losing the years that might beco aningless without her."
Holding her hand, Shui Xian silently walked back ho. On his way, her words kept ringing in his mind. She made him realize why he was so unwilling to forget his ex-wife. She was also a part of his youth. Forgetting her or the love they shared would an that he had wasted his youth on sothing that wasn't even ant to be his. He had wasted his emotions on soone who didn't even care. And the love he cherished for years would just beco aningless. Exactly, that's what he had been scared of all this while.
When they ca back ho, Raelle took the cup of her milk tea from the maid before ascending the stairs. Shui Xian followed her in a daze. Right, when she reached the top, she abruptly stopped and Shui Xian's forehead ended up hitting her back. She turned around as he tilted his head up to look at her.
"Do you want to buy you a dog?" she asked out of the blue.
Shui Xian's brows jumped up, "Do you like pets?"
"No," she replied straightforwardly.
"Why not?" he inquired.
"Troubleso," she replied with her most favorite word. If Cloe had been around, she would have banged her head against the wall hearing her reply.
Shui Xian gave her a smile as he asked, "If you don't like pets, why do you want to buy a dog? Are you trying to impress ?"
"Do I need to impress you?" she retorted plainly.
Shui Xian shook his head as they walked towards their room and he said, "Then do you think by buying a new dog, you'd be able to replace Twilight?"
Raelle shook her head, "No one can replace anyone in this world. Everyone has their own place. Even if two people end up in the sa position, they'd always have a difference of ti between them. Because one has to leave that place for the other to take it." Raelle unzipped the jacket of her tracksuit as she went on, "The chapter you wrote with Twilight has already ended. She might be the protagonist of the chapter you wrote in your youth but since now you're writing a new chapter of life, it is necessary to change the protagonist as well."
Saying that she leisurely sat down on the sofa and sipped on her milk tea with her phone in her other hand. And while she continued on her business, she had left Shui Xian in deep thought.
While she talked about his dog, he could only link it with sothing else. Or rather, soone else...
The chapter he wrote with his ex-wife had really ended. Now, the protagonist of his life was this wife of his who lacked so many emotions and yet, struck right at his emotions every single ti.
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