Chapter 121
Chasms Form and Chasms Close
Sylas found himself back in the forest, Agnes walking by his side, still on the half-speaking terms with him since he refused to tell her what happened, as they made their way toward the north. He continued to observe her carefully, just in case; after a brief thought, he realized that he missed the most important factor the last ti around--that her Halo activated. This ant either of the two things: soone was trying to enter her mind, which was unlikely, or... her own body perceived a threat from her emotional state.
The source of that emotional state was likely a vision. However, the issue was that Agnes herself had said that she hadn't had a new vision ever since she 'joined' him in the loop. Yet, by all accounts, it appeared as though she had a completely new one the last ti they made their trek toward the north. What was different? Them traveling north--that's all. If it happened once again, he'd have to scrap taking her north with him since whatever was triggering the vision existed in the forest.
And, just as he feared, he was right--virtually at the sa place as the last ti, shortly after she fell asleep, the world blighted once again. She floated, suspended in the air like a marionette held by the strings loosely hanging from the heavenly gardens, her fingers clutched into fists, nails digging into her skin.
Her expression was a canvas of pain, horror, and searing anguish. Watching her, Sylas sighed as the color blue swallowed the world for a mont, washing over him. Once again, he burned, yet didnt ache. He was largely numb to pain by this point, his brain effectively refusing to even recognize its existence for the most part. He suspected he could walk into the fire and stand still indefinitely without even flinching.
Fuck... should I just ask? he sighed, walking up to her as she slowly began to wake up. Just like the last ti, she yelped in shock and ran away like a rabbit when she saw his face. Oi, oi, oi, youre breaking my heart here!
W-what happened to you?! Who did you fight?! she looked around, noticing the leveled forest.
What vision did you have? he asked instead.
V-vision? What are you talking about? I didnt have a vision, judging by her expression and her complete lack of ability to lie with any ingenuity, Sylas figured she was telling the truth. Her morys really been wiped clean? Shit. Just how bad was the vision? What if it had sothing to do with the castle or our trip north? I... I did, didnt I? she mumbled, her eyes dancing around. And this... this was ...? No, no, they told it wasnt. They lied? They lied to ? Why did they lie?
... shed all but started ignoring him, spiraling. Sothing dawned on her and before she could completely lose herself, Sylas took out a dagger, aiming toward his throat.
"DON'T!!!" she scread at him so loudly he was shocked, dropping the dagger, his eyes finding her. "Don't!" she repeated firmly. She was shaking, yet clearly desperately trying to control herself. Her muscles worked overti to stop the shaking as did her eyes with crying but to no avail. "This was it, wasn't it?"
...
... youre an ass.
You said that already.
Because you are.
...
I deserved to know, she said, tears streaming down. I deserved to know.
Know what? Sylas asked.
... its going to happen again, isnt it? she asked, looking at him. Youll reset it... and wont tell anything.
Thats right, he nodded honestly.
Fuck you. You dont have the right to keep this from .
Maybe. But I have the ability. You have a Halo, Sylas said since the walls had crumbled already. Sothing inside of you that protects you from specific kinds of harms. Do you know what?
... halo? Protects? What are you talking about? she asked half in confusion and half in anger. Oh. You an... this? I dont know anything about that. All I know is that this is the second ti Ive seen a sight like this. And you should have told .
You dont want this, trust , he said. Sotis, ignorance is bliss.
Maybe, he said. But it should be my choice, not yours. And I dont want to choose ignorance.
Tell what happened.
Only if you promise youll tell .
I promise.
I dont believe you, she said. For a wordsmith, your word ans so little.
What were the circumstances when it happened the first ti? he asked. The conversation between the two was... unlike any prior. It was cold, direct, disinfected.
I know you think youre protecting , she said. Because thats what you do, Sylas. You want to take everyones sins, and encumber yourself with them in their stead. But sotis people want those sins. Sotis those sins empower them. Just like you. You use your sins as fuel."
But if soone offered to take them, Id give them up in a heartbeat, he said.
"You can spew sophistry as much as you want. It is easy when it will never be challenged and tested."
...
The first ti it happened... I was six years old, she said. I may have... misspoken about my childhood. Slightly. While it is true that my parents were wary of , they didnt exactly kick out into the woods. Instead, they chose to sell .
...
On the day it happened I... I passed out. I... when I woke up, there was nothing around . Just like now. And they told that a natural disaster happened and that they saved . And thus my tale began. Are you happy?
... Im sad, he said. Youre so awful at holding back... and yet, a blinder man than might even miss it.
I killed--
No you didnt.
What are you on?! she exclaid angrily.
They killed them, Sylas said simply. It wasnt you who told em to do it. It wasnt you who begged em. It wasnt you who activated the Halo. They deed it themselves worthy of activation. And you know what? They were right.
They werent right, she gritted his teeth. This is what I hate about the both of you. How little you value human life. To you, it is just a piece, an abstract. You forget the soul, the person, the thoughts behind the flesh and skin. Even if my parents deserved it, which they didnt, what about the rest of the village? Did they deserve to die?
...
I stay by your side because I believe in you, Sylas, she added. Believe in the good thats hiding beneath all that garbage stirred together through guilt and pain. But even the good seems... misshapen. Dont take peoples choices from them, good or bad.
... this has been bubbling for a while, hadnt it? Sylas chuckled, taking out a gourd of wine from his belt and wetting his parched throat. I didnt think you were still holding out on .
I am begging you, she said, biting her lips further as tears began to stream once again. Begging you, Sylas. Dont... dont make forget. Please.
... fine. I wont.
Really?
But this is where we part ways.
... w-what?
You just told that you value each and every life unquestionably, he said. And that you want every person to make choices for themselves. Thats noble, beautiful even, but its also beyond idiotic.
I--
Youre a child, Agnes, he interrupted her. A naive, hopeful, rosy-eyed child who thinks the world will magically fix itself as long as we do the right things. I cant for the life of figure out how you remained so naive, what with the constant visions of violence and pain that plague your mind. But... you have. Ill tell you right now--on my way to crowning Valen as the King, tens of thousands will die. Probably more. A lot of them--nay, most of them will not deserve to die. Theyll just be ordinary soldiers following orders of their Liege. But Ill kill them just the sa.
"When I saw Tenner die, and when I saw Valen beco a cripple, and when I saw Ryne go blind, I made a resolution with myself: to do whatever is necessary to make their lives the best they can be. But ever since I started spending ti with you, I saw that resolve wane. Your whispers began to get to , naive though they may be. Your songs about the good of n, your ideas of good n rising to the occasion, and now your belief that I need to let others make their choices."
... youre telling that you want to leave because I... make you want to be good? she asked having stopped crying, her voice turning numb and low.
Yes, he nodded. And no. Ask your gods. Theyll explain it to you.
Then make forget.
H-huh? it was Sylas turn to stumble over his words, not having expected her response.
Make forget, she repeated. Youre a good, good man Sylas. You have a good heart, a good soul, a good mind. You can beco a herald of true change in this Kingdom. And even if my naive little self wants it to happen blood-free, I know thats not an option. But I cant let a good man slip down the ladder of madness because he sohow convinced himself its his burden to bear. Youre not a ssiah, you said so yourself nurous tis. So, stop pretending to be one. Make forget and let delight in continuing to make you want to beco a better man.
... haaah, Sylas sighed deeply after a few monts of pause, drinking a few gulps of wine. Youre fucking insane is what you are. Co on, lets go. I should heal back up by the ti we reach the deads city.
H-huh? What? Youre not resetting?
Were here already, he shrugged. And wed have to go through all of this bullshit all over again if I reset it. May as well go on.
Wait, Im confused--whats going to happen? Are we done after this? she hurriedly ran over and joined him as they began walking, their pace matching. Or will you not tell what happened?
Who knows? he shrugged. Ill wait and see how I feel in the mont.
Heh, she grinned suddenly. I got to you, old man. You like having around so much that now that the excuses are gone, heh... oh my, could it be that youre falling in love with ? Oh gosh, whatever will we do~~
... Sylas glanced at her hollowly and looked her up and down without holding anything back. Agnes paused for a mont, never having experienced a man dot each of her Is so distinctly. Nah, he shook his head. I still prefer big milkers, so fat thighs that can suffocate my soul, and less of this... girly-girly shit youve got goin on. I an, youre fine to look at, but bonin you, yknow, thered be a lot of bonin goin around with how skinny you are. Not to ntion you have the ntality of a kid. Thank the gods, I never leaned that way. Big, fat milkers for , thank you very much.
... for the first ti since the two t, Sylas had managed to carve out hours of uninterrupted silence. And it was delightful.
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