After breakfast, I head toward the church. I haven’t visited as much as I should have. It felt like I was too haunted by my mories with Felix there. But after yesterday, I feel so happy. Spending ti with Felix in our garden made so freaking happy. So I need to ask for forgiveness. I know I shouldn’t be with Felix. It’s not going to help earn salvation. But I can’t stop myself from being selfish.
Honestly, I really don’t even care about salvation right now. I just want to forget all that crap for a mont. I just want to pretend for a while that my life is normal. So I’m going to church more out of habit. I sit in the front row, close my eyes as usual, and pray my usual mantra first. After that, I ask for forgiveness. I know I’m not really being genuine when I ask for that. And God will probably know that too. But I have to try.
“So how’s my pretty flower’s morning? Did you sleep well?”
I open my eyes and see Felix coming to sit next to . I can’t help but smile.
“Good morning, Felix. I actually slept pretty well. I honestly don’t rember when I slept that well last ti. How about you?”
He leans in and kisses my forehead. “I’m glad to hear that. I could say the sa thing, since I kept having good dreams about my favorite stalker.”
“Please don’t call that! I’m not a stalker!”
He just chuckles. “Sure, whatever you say. Did you say your prayer already?”
“Yes. What are you doing here?”
“I ca to look for you, and you weren’t in your room. So I ca to look for you here. Do you usually visit the church in the mornings?”
“I used to. But I have to confess that I’ve been slacking on praying lately.”
“Why is that?”
I fall silent for a mont. I’m not sure. Why have I been slacking on it?
“I haven’t thought about it. Maybe I’ve just been occupied by other things. Or maybe I knew that my prayers wouldn’t be that honest anymore.”
“Oh? What have you been occupied with lately then?”
My cheeks flush. I think it’s pretty obvious what it is. And judging from the look on his face, he knows it too.
“It’s clear you know what it is, so stop the act.”
He grabs my chin and leans in closer, wearing a smug expression.
“I still want to hear you say it.”
“I won’t say it.”
“How about we make a deal?”
“I don’t have good experiences with making deals with you.”
He raises his brow at . “You don’t? But I don’t think we have made any deals yet.”
Crap. That’s true. We haven’t. Not in this life.
“I ant in general.”
He tilts his head. “Right… Well, anyway, do you want to hear the deal?”
“No.”
He leans even closer, his lips brushing against mine. I imdiately part my lips, expecting a kiss from him. But instead, he just smiles.
“That’s too bad.” He frees my chin and gets up. “Unfortunately, duty calls. I just wanted to see you before work begins.”
Jerk. Always just teasing.
“See you later, Lo.”
I just sit there and stare at his retreating back again, which is starting to beco an annoying phenonon. I get up and run to grab his sleeve and yank him to face . I rise onto my tiptoes, wrap my arms around his neck, and kiss him. He is clearly surprised by my sudden act, but soon he wraps his arms around and pulls closer.
I withdraw with a smile. “See you later, Felix. I hope you have a great day.”
I exit the church and leave with a huge smile on my face, since Felix just stays there, standing and staring at this ti. Serves him right.
The day goes on as usual. The other candidates are excited to learn sothing about Felix, and I just feel amused, knowing I’m the only one here who really knows him. The real him. It feels good. After dinner, I visit Hans as usual and then head toward the hill next to the training grounds. I know there isn’t that much need to stalk him anymore, but I still want to see him if I can. I open the book and try my best to read while waiting for him to appear in the training grounds.
“I thought we would be over this stalking thing already.”
I lift my gaze, and Felix appears next to . I smile and act all innocent.
“I’m not stalking. I’ve said many tis that I’m just innocently reading a book here, enjoying the lovely weather.”
He crouches down.
“I see you even have your book the right way up this ti. Your act is clearly getting better.”
I smile proudly. “I know. Thanks for noticing my efforts.”
He reaches his hand toward . “Co on. I need you closer.”
“And why is that?” I tease as I grab his hand, and he pulls up.
“Oh? Why would I answer that when you avoided my question this morning?”
“Maybe we should make a deal,” I suggest.
He looks honestly surprised, but pleased at the sa ti.
“Please, do tell. I love deals.”
“I answer your question from the morning if you first answer mine.”
He grabs my waist and pulls closer. I cling to his shirt as I mold myself against him.
“I want you closer because I want to feel your gaze on .”
“And why do you want to feel my gaze on you?”
“Answering that wasn’t part of the deal. It’s your turn to answer.”
“I won’t answer until you tell why you want to feel my gaze,” I say teasingly.
“I’m not telling.”
“Your call. Either tell , or I’ll find myself sothing else to do.” I smile widely. I know he doesn’t rember our previous life. But I still get so satisfaction from copying his words when he altered his deal the sa way in our secret garden when he was about to tell his secret about his illusion mana.
He narrows his eyes at .
“I didn’t know my pretty flower was this cunning. But I’ll play along, only because it’s impossible to say no to your lovely button eyes.”
He leans closer, his nose touching mine.
“There are actually a couple of reasons why I want your eyes on . I want you to see , and only . And your presence makes train harder; it motivates . It also serves as a challenge, since it’s harder to keep my focus on training while you are present. But most of all, I’m happy when you are close.”
I slide my hand around his neck, smiling. My heart feels so warm around him. Hearing his words makes happy. It makes think that this ti I can actually spend ti with him without causing him pain. Maybe I can really make him happy. Of course, I still need to leave him after the Selection, but I don’t want to think about that right now.
“I’ve been occupied because of you. I can barely think of anything else but you. I want to see you more than be at church. I usually pray for forgiveness from God because I’ve strayed from my righteous path, but my prayers aren’t genuine anymore. So I’d rather spend my ti thinking about you or watching you than give prayers that an nothing.”
His pupils widen slightly as he looks at . Then he lowers his head against my forehead and smiles so warmly it lts my heart.
“Goddammit, Lo. I really love making deals with you. You make so happy that I don’t even know how to express myself.”
I kiss him because I feel the sa. Soon, he turns and shoves against the tree. His hands start to roam over , and I ignite into fire. His kiss feels more like devouring, like he’s trying to carve his mark into . And I let him. I feel his bulge growing rapidly against . I press myself tightly against him.
Then he suddenly pulls back, exhaling heavily.
“Fuck, Lo. You have no idea how much I want to sink my cock inside you.”
My pussy pulses. I want that too, so freaking much.
“I want you to,” I admit.
“Do you want to be my Queen?”
I swallow. I can’t say yes.
“No,” I force out.
“Then it doesn’t matter how much we want to. We can’t.”
He leans in to kiss my neck, and I cling to his shirt again. He pulls away far too soon.
“Co on, let’s go. Even though I’d much rather make you moan against this tree, I need to train. I can’t skip that.”
He takes my hand, lifts my book from the ground, and we start walking toward the training grounds. I feel the wetness between my thighs. I just have to ignore the need.
I watch him train, and the need doesn’t ease. I ache for him even more. Judging by his glances toward , he knows it too. When he’s done, he grabs my hand and starts pulling toward the building where he usually changes his clothes.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“You can wait for to shower inside. There’s too high a risk that you’ll start stalking so other man if I leave you outside.”
Is he serious? I would never even glance at another guy. But I obey. He sits down inside and vanishes behind a door. I glance around, seeing clothes scattered everywhere. What if soone else cos in to shower and change? How am I going to explain that I’m invading the n’s changing room? I hope Felix thought about that, maybe using his illusion magic to make sure no one sees .
Soon, Felix cos back, wearing only his pants, rubbing his hair with a towel. I don’t understand why he even bothers with a towel when he could just dry himself with magic.
But I don’t exactly mind. He looks incredibly hot like that, water droplets sliding down his bare chest. My body gets excited again. He walks toward , eyeing knowingly. I avert my gaze. He must think I’m a huge pervert, which I can’t really deny when it cos to him.
“So, care to tell what you were thinking while I trained?”
“What do you an?” I still don’t look at him.
He crouches in front of , and I squeeze my thighs together.
“I’m pretty sure you were drooling.”
I snap my eyes to his, glaring. “I didn’t drool! My mouth is perfectly clean!”
He chuckles as his hand glides down my legs, slipping under my dress.
“I didn’t an that kind of drool. I was talking about your soaking wet panties.”
Heat floods through , and I fall silent. I can’t deny it. I know my panties are wet; they’ve been wet for a long ti. I watch him as he slowly lifts the hem of my dress. I hear a knight yelling outside and snap out of my haze, trying to push my dress back down.
“Felix! Stop it. Soone might co.”
He chuckles and spreads my legs wide, leaning in to kiss my inner thigh. I sigh.
“Are you afraid they’ll find out how naughty you are?”
“I’m not naughty!”
He moves closer to my core, and my breathing stutters as I watch him.
“Watching with soaked panties while others are around sounds pretty dirty to . Or sinking your fingers inside while thinking about in your room.”
“I just—” I start to argue, but I really can’t deny it.
“You know… Your fingers tasted pretty divine back then. I’ve been wondering ever since whether it would taste even better directly from the source.” He slips his fingers under my panties, stretching the fabric aside. “I have to say, my pretty flower’s scent is the most alluring one.”
I glance at the door when soone shouts outside again.
“Felix. Please, what if—” My words turn into a heavy exhale as his tongue slides over my pussy.
He grins at afterward. “You were saying?”
Jerk, as always. I try to gather my reason. “What if soone cos in or hears us?”
“That’s a risk we’ll have to take. I really don’t mind people finding out how weak you are for . I love how slutty you are with your dirty thoughts and needy pussy.”
I grip the edge of the chair as he dives back into .
Oh God, how much I’ve missed his tongue there. It feels like heaven. In seconds, I forget the outside world exists. There’s only him and , and the rising heat between my legs. His rhythm is slow and teasing as he circles my clit. I tilt my head back, nudging myself closer, begging for more. His other hand presses lightly at my entrance.
“Felix,” I breathe, hoping for more.
He slides his fingers inside , making moan.
“I thought you were worried soone might hear. But it doesn’t sound like it. Or do you want them to hear? Does it excite you?”
I’m too lost to answer, moaning as his fingers thrust inside while his tongue drives higher. The heat overwhelms . He feels so much better than I rembered, so different from my own touch.
I feel the orgasm building, my toes curling as it nears. Then he suddenly stops. I whimper in frustration.
“Fuck, Lo. You taste like heaven. Your pussy sucks my fingers in so hungrily, like it’s begging for my cock.”
My inner walls clench.
“Do it.”
“Do you want to be my Queen?”
I swallow and shake my head.
He returns to licking , fingers thrusting harder. The orgasm is right there.
Then he stops again.
“No,” I sigh.
“You want to co? I thought you were worried we’d get caught.”
“Please, Felix.” I press closer.
He circles my clit again.
“Does my pretty flower want to co?”
I nod.
“Just say you’ll be my Queen, and I’ll make you co.”
“What?” I stare at him in disbelief. “Why?”
“I want you to be mine. I won’t let you co otherwise. So will you be my Queen?”
My chest tightens. The orgasm is so close. I want it. And I want him so badly. But I can’t. I dig out my spine from hiding and lift my legs to his shoulders and kick him away. He lands on his ass, shocked. I steady my breathing as he starts to laugh.
“I thought I had you, Lo. Guess you’re more stubborn than I thought.”
“You’re a jerk.”
He chuckles, standing up.
“Can’t deny that.” He leans over , lips glistening. “I just want you to be my Queen.”
“Why? I thought we agreed we’d only see each other during the Selection.”
“I never agreed to anything.”
“Then why are you doing this?”
“I’m determined to convince you.”
“That won’t happen.”
He smirks. “Are you sure you can survive these weeks with without a single orgasm?”
Is he saying that he won’t make co if I won’t agree to be his Queen? He’s insane. But I won’t change my mind. I can always do it myself. It’s not the sa, but it’s better than nothing.
“And no touching yourself either,” he adds.
“What? You can’t control that.”
“Oh yes, I can. No touching without permission. If you behave, then I might let you have a little fun with yourself.”
‘’You are insane if you think you can just order around like that.’’
His hand leaves my chin and grabs my throat, pulling close. I grab his arm while my pussy throbs with need even more. His voice drops lower, like giving a warning.
‘’You will obey . Since that’s what you want to do, don’t you? So, no touching, unless I give you permission. Understand?’’
My reason protests, but my body answers. The slut in who wants to just please him answers before my reason can. I nod. He kisses , and I taste myself on his lips. I rub my thighs together, desperate.
I have a feeling these weeks are going to be much harder than I thought.
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