Master of Minds, Master of Me Chapter 65. Felix: Absolutely Calm Thoughts, Thanks for Aski

“What the hell Theodore? You can’t just kidnap people like this!”

For the first ti in my life, I’m mad at him. I have been so on edge for the past few days. I’m still so scared that my pretty flower will leave . That she really wants death so much that she will take her own life.

I have tried my best to be a perfect fiancée for her. I want her to be so happy that she wouldn't wish for death anymore. I’m scared to leave her alone. I’m afraid she will change her mind about being with . I know she promised that she would never do anything to herself. But I just can't trust her words. It’s like this itch on the back of my head. The picture of her grave in that mirror haunts during the day and night.

I, of course, have been happy too. She has been clearly more relaxed with after that mirror fiasco. She admits her feelings and clearly enjoys being with . But I can't just get rid of this fucking itch inside my head. The one that keeps saying that she will leave .

When Theodore left with her, I was so scared that Theodore might say sothing that would make her leave . Since Theodore really is blunt with his words. And she might misinterpret sothing he would say. I was also scared that Theodore would try to examine her. Since he said that one ti that there is sothing different about her. And that guy is a freak when it cos to discovering new things that might concern magic.

“I just need to check sothing.”

He puts his hands against my chest, furrowing his brows.

“What is it? My mana has been fine.”

“Clearly it’s not. She said that your eyes turn purple sotis.”

“My eyes? No, they don't.”

“Would you even know if they did? I doubt you go around walking with a mirror in your hand.”

Are they really? Why hasn't she said anything to about it? Did I scare her with those? Is she going to leave because of that? Is this just the start of the inevitable future? Has she been just faking being happy with ? What if she really is just trying to figure out a way to leave ? What if she asked Theodore for help? And that's why she didn't want to be present. But she can't leave . I would never let her go. I will lock her up in my room if needed. The thought of her leaving makes so fucking angry that I feel my heart beating louder and louder.

“Felix!”

Theodore's sudden outburst wakes up from my thoughts.

“What?”

“What were you thinking? You suddenly didn't answer , and your eyes turned purple. So I guess she really was telling the truth.”

“Nothing. It doesn't matter.”

“It does matter if it has sothing to do with your mana going crazy. You should try to calm yourself, not make yourself go berserk.”

I slap his hands away from my chest.

“What do you care? Just take back.”

I need to go back to her. To make sure she is alright. To make sure she isn't going to do anything to herself. Or trying to escape.

“It’s my job to keep your mana under control. So stop resisting and let help you.”

“Your job?’’ I laugh at him mockingly. ‘’Are you afraid that your endless money source will deplete if you fail at your job?”

“What the hell, Felix? You are not acting like yourself. Snap out of it.”

Snap out of it? How can I snap out of it when my future is on the brink of collapsing? And why the hell is he now acting like he cares? He probably doesn't care for anything else than money and his stupid Tower, and his stupid research.

“Just take back and stop pretending to be a friend.”

A sudden sharp pain pulses inside my chest. Fuck that hurt. Whatever that was.

“Felix. Let's go see Neil.”

“No. I need to get back. Stop arguing and take back.”

“No. I’ll take you to Neil.”

Why the hell did I even think of him as a friend? He always just treats like trash. So why the hell would I treat him any better? I’m just about to yell at him for being so fucking arrogant bastard.

But then the pain hits again. Another painful pulse inside . I feel the mana going wild. It reminds of the pain back in the Dark War. Suddenly, I see Theodore's dark magic hovering around . And in a second, everything goes dark.

I slowly open my eyes. My head hurts so much. What the hell even happened?

‘’Your Highness? How are you feeling?’’

I turn my head and see Neil standing next to . Why is Neil here at the Palace? I look around and realize that I’m at the Tower. When I got here?

‘’Yeah. I an, my head feels like it's bursting. But other than that, I feel fine. What happened?’’

‘’You don’t rember?’’

Rember? Let’s think. I was at my office with my pretty flower, waiting for Theodore. He ca, and he fucking snatched my pretty flower with him. I will definitely take revenge on him sohow. Then I just sat in my office, waiting for them to get back. It felt like an eternity to wait for them. I was constantly thinking about taking the carriage and going to the Tower myself to fetch her. But I couldn’t risk leaving, in case she would have returned on my way there. I just rember sinking pretty deep in my thoughts, strangling in my fears. She ca back, and then Theodore took .

And after that? My mory gets pretty hazy. All I can rember is the hate and fear in .

‘’I do rember getting here, but I can’t rember what happened here.’’

The door opens, and Theodore walks in, and Neil leaves. His expression seems rather weird. Like he is worried or sothing. Is everything okay with him?

‘’Theodore, is everything alright?’’

‘’You are asking that?’’

‘’Yes. There is clearly sothing wrong. What is it? Can I help with it?’’

‘’Okay, clearly you are back to being your normal self.’’

‘’My normal self? What you an?’’

‘’So you don’t rember yelling at yesterday?’’

‘’Woah woah woah. Hold on for a second. Yesterday?’’

‘’Yes. I took you to the Tower since I wanted to check on your mana. But instead of letting help you, you went crazy. Your eyes turned purple, and you yelled at . Your magic started to pour out of you. So I had to use my magic on you and make you faint. After that, I brought you here so Neil and I could make your mana behave again. It was hard, so we let you wake up only after it was sowhat controlled.’’

What? I did that? Why? I rub my temples with my hands, like trying to get my head to rember.

‘’So I’ve been here for a day?’’

He nods. The realization shocks when I rember that I left my pretty flower at the office. And I have been gone for a day? What is she not there anymore? What if she got tired of waiting for and left? I get up from the hospital bed in panic.

‘’Theodore. You need to take back, now!’’

‘’What you need to do is relax. I inford Tedracil that you are here, and there is nothing to worry.’’

‘’I don’t care about Ted. I need to go see Lo. What if she is gone? I need to go back, now!’’

‘’Jeez, just relax. She is here.’’

A huge wave of relief floods through .

‘’She is? Is she okay?’’

‘’Felix, you are hopeless. Everyone is okay. Everyone but you. So instead of thinking about others, could you for once worry about yourself?’’

I just stare at him, dumbfounded. Is Theodore worried? About ? I can’t help but let a huge smile spread to my face.

‘’Oh, Theo! You really do like , don’t you? Don’t you worry, bestie. I’m just fine. I’m always fine.’’

He sighs with annoyance.

‘’No nicknas, and we are not besties. So cut it off and get back on the bed.’’

I do as he says, but keep my wide smile on my face.

‘’So can I see her?’’

‘’Not yet. We need to talk first.”

‘’What is it?”

“Are you seriously asking that? How about the fact that your mana went berserk and you don’t even rember that?’’

‘’Hey, you can bla yourself for that! I went nuts because you just stole my pretty flower and left by myself. Do you have any idea how fucking worried I was? I thought I was going crazy while waiting for you.’’

‘’You did go crazy. But why were you worried? Did you think that I would stick a needle in her or sothing?’’

‘’A little bit. But that wasn’t the main thing.’’

‘’What was the main thing?’’

‘’Nothing. Just forget it. I’m sorry for yelling at you. I promise I will contain myself better.’’

“You really need to learn how to calm yourself if you want to stay alive. Neil was pretty worried. The illusion mana is clearly dominating the managates inside you. And solely the fact that your eyes turn purple serves as proof that ti is running out.”

This really is the worst ti possible. My father is dying, so my coronation draws closer each day. I found the love of my life. I don't want my life to just end after finally finding happiness. The Palace walls have always felt so suffocating for . I have always wanted to just escape that place.

But now?

I haven't thought about leaving at all, not even once. The Palace doesn't feel like a prison anymore. It feels like heaven since she is there with .

“I still don't know how. Every ti I get strong emotions, I can't help it resurface. And when it does, I don't know how to calm it.”

“Lorelia told that your eyes always return to normal after sex. Why not use that knowledge?”

I stare at him in shock. Not sure if I am more confused about the fact that they talked about our sex life. But I let that slide for now.

“I can't just have sex with her every ti I feel on the edge.”

“I didn't an it like that. I just assu that during sex, you give in and let the mana control you, giving it what it wants. And after you complete it, the mana calms down. So maybe you should just try to let it control you and not push it down. Maybe it calms after getting what it wants.”

“I see your point. But I can't do that. There is no telling what I would do to her or to anyone if I just let go completely.”

“But isn’t that better than dying?”

“No. Absolutely no. I would much rather die than hurt her. I think I have made her suffer enough by tornting her with my illusions and forcing her to be with . I don't regret my actions, not one bit. But I’m not going to go against her wishes anymore.”

“Well your call. But just keep that option in mind. You dying is the worst-case scenario.”

“Oh, you are so cute when you show your affection toward like that.”

His voice drops. That all too familiar look that he wants to murder .

“I’m just saying that since it’s going to be an annoying hassle when there is no one to take the crown. I hate hassle.”

“Sure, sure. Whatever you say. But thanks, Theodore, for stopping yesterday. And taking care of . I owe you, once again. If you need anything, just ask, I’ll do anything.”

He just grunts and starts to leave the room.

“I’ll go fetch your girl.”

“Thanks. And just out of curiosity, what did I yell at you yesterday?”

‘’That I should stop pretending to be a friend, and I’m helping you only because I’m worried that my endless money source will end.”

“Oh… I apologize. You know I don't really think that.”

He grabs the door handle but halts before opening, letting out a deep sigh.

“We both know that what that mana brings out of you is your own thoughts. Sothing you might not even know that exists inside you. Your fears, desires or insecurities. So I say this just once, only because I don't want to hear you spouting utter crap anymore; it’s annoying. I don't think of you as a money source, and I do consider you as a friend.”

I just stare at his back, dumbfounded. He opens the door and leaves. And I keep staring at the closed door.

Did Theodore just call a friend? I can't resist a huge smile spreading on my face.

I sooooo knew he liked . What a cute, annoyed crumpy mage. I will tease him so much for what he said. He will regret saying that so much. He really is the best entertainnt ever.

Then a door bursts open and my pretty flower barges in, worry spread all over her face.

“Felix! Are you alright?”

She jumps to hug . And I feel like my heart is bursting into flas. I hug her tightly. So relieved she is actually here.

“I’m fine. Sorry for leaving you like that.”

“Don't feel sorry, it wasn't your fault. It was that stupid, annoying idiot who did it!”

I withdraw from the hug and look at her in confusion.

“Did you just call Theodore a stupid, annoying idiot?”

“Yes! I don't understand how you can call him a friend when he clearly doesn't care about you!”

“Woah, hold on a second. Why do you think that?”

“When we talked, and I told him my worries about your mana affecting you, he didn't care at all. He just said that he helps you because he gets money from it. And if your mana ends up making you go berserk, he would just stop you. Talking about basically killing you like it was just a normal daily occurrence.”

Okay. I take my words back about Theodore being the best amusent. Since my pretty flower being angry for is a million tis better.

“Relax, Lo. He really doesn't think like that.”

“Well, why the hell would he say sothing like that?!”

“He has this weird problem that he can’t admit that he is close to people. Saying anything that even slightly suggests that is like poison in his mouth. The reason he took was the fact that he was worried about my mana. And he just lectured about it. So don't take what he says too seriously. He has always been like that and will always be.”

“And you are okay with that?”

“Yes. That's just who he is. And I think he is rather cute when angry or annoyed.”

“Cute? He is like the scariest person I have ever t. That's far from cute.”

I chuckle at her and kiss her forehead.

“But you being protective like that is way cuter.”

She lets out a deep sigh.

“Are you sure you are okay? How's your mana?”

“Right now, it feels pretty normal. I promise I will contain it better. So don't worry about . I’ll figure out a way to calm it.”

I have to. Since I won't end up dead.

“But what happened that it started to go crazy?”

I get up from the bed.

“Let's talk about it back ho, okay?”

Ho? I think this is the first ti I have called the Palace ho. Since it’s never felt like one. But with her? I think anything could feel like ho. Ho is wherever she is.

She nods, and I can't help but wrap my hands around her and kiss her. She moulds herself against . And only that makes my cock twitch with excitent. I withdraw before I need to leave with a boner. I look at her with a smile.

“Ready to go?”

She nods and takes my hand. My heart lts every ti she touches . I really could never live without her.

I just wish this fucking itch would go away, so I could enjoy our ti together even more.