Marshall wasn't religious. But his parents were the epito of religiousness. They dragged him to the church every Sunday whether he liked it or not. They even enrolled him in Sunday school. That made him even less religious in the long run, as he ca to despise those classes. He'd rather stay at ho and play video gas.
But now, with that holy baby sharing the sa cave as him, he felt a little nervous. Sure, he was a hundred million years old, but he didn't have any divine abilities. He was no Odin. Sure, he had millions of worshippers across the world, but he was more like a superhero than a god.
"Geeef!"
"You don't get it, Marty. This feels... off. Can't pin it down, just weird. Let's hit Ro after baby Jesus heads ho. Wait—hold up—I could just off that damn king trying to ss with him. Hell yeah, that's smart." Marshall made up his mind rather quickly. He didn't want to share the space with the baby, feeling he didn't want to be judged for his unhinged mind.
Having already killed the weird guy who wanted to die using the cosmic flas, Marshall went over to Mary and Joseph.
"Heard King Herod's got it in for you, huh? Look, you co with —I've been around long enough to outlast a dozen empires and more than a few extinct beasts. I'll make sure that King and his whole line get punished. You? You'll be safe in your hos, no sweat."
The woman and the man speechlessly looked at each other's faces. They really didn't know what to make of Marshall. He looked human but every feat he did was godly. Since they were seeing the man in the flesh, they also instantly believed all the stories and rumors they had heard about the First Man.
First Man actually ant First Man. Marshall was the first human being, the first man on land. His na had been written and found in so many ancient texts by now that the proof was irrefutable.
"You will do that for us? Respected First Man?"
Damn, so formal.
"Yeah, sure, why not? Sanity's been optional since the continents were cuddling, but hurting a baby? That's where I draw the damn line. C'mon, let's head north." Marshall said and stord out of the large cave where he had parked his nice, latest model wooden raft, made of fine wood, tight ropes, and nails. It even had a tiny roofed shelter on it. Of course, it was big enough to carry Marty as well.
Woosh!
Marshall simply waved his hand and levitated the raft closer like it were a hovercraft.
"Hop on."
It was nothing short of a magical miracle for Mary and Joseph. But they had faith that Marshall, being an ancient being, wouldn't harm them.
They were right.
Marshall flew fast, up north, and quickly arrived in the lands ruled by King Herod. It was as good as one could expect. Primitive, mud houses, dirty streets, dry, sandy, with the large stone structure being the King's castle. It was pretty big and suited a child-murdering King.
"Marty, you're my tactical nuke. Go down and eat up as many soldiers as you can. Force the entire city to deploy its n to battle you." Marshall ordered and dropped Marty near the outskirts of the city.
After that, from the height, they just watched Marty being himself. A T-Rex doing what he was made to do, roar and cause chaos. People ran in fear, but Marty was highly intelligent and never hurt any innocent. He only ripped apart the spear-wielding soldiers.
Slowly, the city streets were filled with blood and bodies turned into at paste. As Marty made his way towards the royal castle, more soldiers ca running out. In ti, it beca clear that the entire castle was stripped of most of its security.
"Let's go now." Marshall descended his raft and softly landed in the castle's inner courtyard. He didn't need to ask about the layout as the nearest remaining guard got his mind fucked and all his mories read by Marshall.
Mary and Joseph with the cute little bundle in his arms followed the godly man silently, slowly becoming used to every impossible feat he committed.
BOOM!
Marshall simply waved his hand and an entire part of the castle's wall ca flying off. He walked inside, then kept ripping through walls one after another, not bothering to walk long corridors, and choosing to take shortcuts like a madman.
Any soldier who ca his way dropped unconscious with ntal overload. In fact, it was mostly brain rot that Marshall would overload their brains with. With millions of years of visuals of dinosaurs procreating, it was not a sight most could digest.
"This way." Marshall guided the couple behind him.
Boom!
More walls, more soldiers, then ca so brave servants. All were overloaded with dino porn. So even fell down with foam coming out of their mouths. Clearly, they weren't the ntally strong bunch.
In the end, Marshall reached the desired location: a large door to a bedchamber. The King's royal chamber.
"You guys sit tight out here. Inside's a shitshow waiting to happen." Marshall shrugged. "I'll probably just burn him down to nothing."
Sure, the First Man had a very crass way of speaking. The couple nodded and stayed behind.
Marshall continued walking and with a gentle push, broke the door open. It was made of iron, but the hinges were still too weak. Like a terminator on the hunt, he gazed around at the room and quickly noticed sothing underneath the bed.
"I see you, fucker!"
Woosh!
With a backhanded smack of his hand, the large, canopied bed got thrown across the room. And surprisingly, the King wasn't alone.
"Oh, lookie here. Whole damn family lined up for the chopping block. What's that? No way I buy it. King goat-neck over there with his sad little beard—those two? Nah, wives don't look like that. But damn, those tits? I'll give you credit where it's due, fine taste. Anyway, sidetracked—King Whatever, you plotted to kill babies. Cri of the century. , the First Man, hereby—ah, screw it, just die."
Marshall raised a single finger towards the bunch of people huddled together. A single fat pig of a king, two beauties, and three kids between them of varying ages. Sadly, they looked ugly like their father. Even the beauties couldn't wash away his fucked up genes.
"P-Please… Take whatever you wa—"
"Yeah, and I want your life."
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!
However, right when Marshall was about to unleash cosmic flas, he heard loud sounds getting closer to him. It felt like soone was knocking down walls one after another and coming closer.
Another Eternal? Ugh, I'll kill the fucker this ti.
BAM!
"Wraaaaaar!"
"..."
"Marty?!"
The wall was destroyed and Marty's massive T-Rex head peeped inside.
Marshall frowned. "The fuck are you doing here? I told you to eat the guards outside."
"Gruff!"
"Damn, that was fast. You sure you ate them all? Hmm... Almost done here myself. Let's hit Dinosia after this. Ti to snag another maiden," Marshall rambled and looked back toward his targets. "What the!"
"Ummmmh… Mmmmmmm!"
"..."
Out of all the absurd things that could have happened. Marshall found King Herod right in front of him. The man had for so reason shoved his mouth on Marshall's pointed finger. The fat King was trying to slurp on it, using teeth and all, eyes red with rage.
A little taken aback, Marshall frowned heavily. "Ugh… Man, I've got nothing against n like you but, seriously? You've got a pair of walking big-titted fertility idols at your side and still go mouth-first on mystery at. How did you even have kids? Ah, was that the whole duty-bound thing? Pump and dump? Hmm… Still, why suck my finger?"
So old, so insane, it just didn't cross Marshall's head that the man was trying to bite his finger. It was so absurd and impossible that the re idea was less likely than the heavens falling on top of him.
Poof!
Right from the finger King Herod was sucking, Marshall created cosmic flas. They covered the King entirely in less than a second, and even in less ti, the thick, insanely hot flas turned the man into ash.
Finally, Marshall pointed his finger at the others like it was a gun.
"Holy fuck!" Marshall cursed, though. The two beautiful won had dropped their blouses and revealed their fantastic, full breasts, large and cushiony. "Well, just because I talked about them doesn't an they'll make lose my mind. Ajak got a better pair—Just die."
______________________
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