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Chapter 109: Attention Whore
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As police sirens wailed in the distance, Adam sighed. "Ah, the boys in blue. Always late to the party."
He pulled out his phone, tapped a few tis, and a brilliant, practiced smile lit up his face.
"Hello, boys!" He said brightly, starting a live short-form video.
The cara panned, showing the floating picnickers, the terrified robbers suspended in mid-air, the awe-struck crowd below, and a very unamused Ororo, her white hair whipping in the wind.
"Unfortunately, our fine police forces and many upstanding citizens aren't always… understanding of our work."
"The M.R.D., in particular, loves to show up after the fact, take credit, sar us. They even try to apprehend us for resisting, apparently, actually evil idiots, so direct communication it is!"
He zood in on the robbers. "These two gentlen are not your average crooks. They are, let's see…"
He pretended to check a non-existent note on his phone. "…Marcus Dooley and Terrence 'T-Bone' Griggs. Wanted in connection with eleven ard robberies and three homicides. Very nasty stuff."
He smiled back at the cara. "They're careful. You won't find evidence in their hos. Their real stash, along with the murder weapons and so logs, is in a storage locker."
He recited an address flawlessly. "Hope that helps the NYPD clean up their backlog. As for us…"
He panned the cara around the group; Jean giving a small wave, Nightcrawler grinning and popping a chip in his mouth, Bobby making a snowflake, Rogue curled contentedly against Adam's side, Domino rolling her eyes, and Ororo looking stoically into the middle distance.
"…We're just having a little picnic. Up here. In the sky. Five stars, highly recomnd. Have a pleasant day!"
He ended the stream with a wink.
[Welp, the M.R.D has been added to the list of abuse recipients alongside Hydra and phisto.]
[There goes trying to steal his credit, smart.]
[Ororo's face is the definition of "I did not sign up for this."]
["Five stars, highly recomnd." I'M DEAD.]
[That's so smart. He's basically growing his company and superhero brand at the sa ti.]
[He's such a slut for attention, it's actually disgustingly smart.]
He slipped the phone away, chuckling along with Kurt and Bobby. Rogue giggled, snuggling closer.
She had grown noticeably more confident and flirty since their intensive training with Elektra.
Her touch-starvation manifested as bold, physical affection she knew Adam's unique biology could safely handle, even if she loses control.
Domino let out an exasperated sigh. "You are such an attention whore."
Ororo pinched the bridge of her nose. "Why did you have to film ? And there are definitely more… Discreet ways to handle this."
Adam laughed, resting his chin on top of Rogue's head. She preened at the contact.
"What's the point," Rogue drawled, taking Adam's side, "of doin' a good deed and lettin' the enemy take the credit?"
"The M.R.D. always shows up after, claims they did all the work, and then calls us freaks on the news. They never let us shine. They only try to slander us."
Ororo frowned, her principles engaging. "We do not do what we do for credit, Anna. We do it because it is the right thing."
This ti, it was Jean who refuted her, her voice calm but firm. "The rest of the world doesn't know it's the right thing, Storm. Because we've let them control the narrative for too long."
"We act with the best intentions, but the world is told we acted with the worst. Perception has beco reality."
Ororo opened her mouth to argue that their own conscience was enough, that the truth would win out, but the words died before they left her lips.
She was wise enough to see the flaw. She looked at the crowd below, at the phones now undoubtedly sharing Adam's video.
They weren't screaming in fear of mutants. They were recording in wonder. The narrative, for this mont, was theirs.
"You're thinking too hard," Adam said, interrupting her internal debate. He took a bite of his burrito.
"I am an attention whore. It's a core personality trait. But I'm also doing this because, frankly, the previous trajectory for mutantkind was leading to a few near-extinction events. Maybe a genocide or two."
He said it casually and jokingly, like comnting on the weather, and took another bite.
Jean, her empathy wide open, felt no hint of jest in the words. It was like a cold, stated probability.
Does he really believe that would've been mutants' future? Are they in such a desperate situation? She wondered in her mind, curious about what his mind sees that she can't.
He swallowed. "I admire your kindness, Ororo. Your purity of purpose. It's… refreshing. But it's not a weapon, and sotis you need weapons. It's okay to have a little selfishness mixed in with your altruism."
He gestured to the crowd below, already buzzing about the video.
"Think of it this way; if you let your acts of kindness be known; if the world sees the X-n saving people, stopping killers, being heroes; it doesn't just lower the background radiation of fear. It inspires."
"It shows scared mutant kids they can be heroes too. It shows humans that the 'monster' next door might be the one who catches the serial killer. Good PR is just kindness with a gaphone."
Ororo blinked, turning his words over. They were pragmatic, strategic, and laced with his usual self-awareness.
A faint, reluctant smile touched her lips. "You sound like both the devil and the angel on my shoulder, Adam. I am not sure how to feel."
Adam shrugged, his expression one of pure, simple contentnt. "As long as it leads to so sort of happiness, so satisfaction… then I'm happy. Simple math."
He grinned. "You know, they used to call the Satisfying rchant back in the day."
Ororo stared at him in confusion. "Did they really?"
Domino didn't even look up from her food. "Yeah. No one called him that."
"anie!" Adam pouted theatrically, before bursting into genuine laughter.
It was a ridiculous, surreal mont. Floating on an invisible plane, eating lovely food, having a philosophical debate about mutant PR with a goddess of the weather, after publicly doxxing murderers.
But the laugh was infectious. Bobby and Kurt laughed. Even Jean smiled. And finally, after a long, weary, world-shaking week, Ororo Munroe let out a rare, clear laugh, the sound carried away by the wind over the city.
Adam Cypher's world was chaotic, self-serving, and utterly mad. But in its own way, it was a funny joke.
["Good PR is just kindness with a gaphone." I'm framing that.]
[Near-extinction events… genocide or two. If only they knew how true that is.]
[They're a found family of beautiful, chaotic disasters and I love them.]
[True true, I see the vision, and I fucking love it.]
[So cringe.] [What's cringe?] [Your mom.] [Fuck u!] [No u!]
"But," Adam said, wiping a spot of salsa from his chin, "If it makes you feel any better, Ororo, I'm doing this mostly for a selfish little vision of my own."
He leaned back on the invisible wing, basking in the sun.
"Imagine a superhero agency. A whole division under Cypher Enterprises. Responsible for the traditional 'heroics,' sure, but also for… advertising. A self-sustaining ecosystem."
His eyes glead with brilliance. "No advertiser on earth will refuse the publicity of a real, live superhero; even a mutant one."
"We expand from there. Comics, magazines, movies, TV. Music tie-ins. Video gas. Action figures. Apparel lines. Hell, we could do a line of 'X-Burritos' or 'Avenger Energy Drinks.' The rchandising is infinite."
"And with the profits, we fund real charity work, disaster relief, mutant outreach. It's a perpetual motion machine of goodwill and cash flow. No one's taken the initiative yet. So… why not ? Brilliant, is it not?"
He bead, awaiting admiration. Do they see the vision?
The reception was mixed. Jean and Anna looked contemplative, their expressions saying they were trying to see past the surface glitz to the deeper, likely more manipulative engine driving him.
Domino's gorgeous eyes lit up with genuine, avaricious interest.
Ororo, however, frowned deeply, her regal composure hardening into disapproval. Kurt shifted uncomfortably. Bobby looked skeptical.
"So," Ororo said, her voice cool, cutting through the high-altitude breeze, "You wish to monetize superheroes. To put a price tag on kindness."
She shook her head, white locks swaying. "Aside from how… Crass that sounds at a fundantal level, have you considered the consequences?"
"It breeds greed. It incentivizes selfishness. It creates an environnt where the worst traits; vanity, lust for fa, hunger for power; are not just tolerated, but rewarded."
"Your company would have a vested interest in protecting its 'assets' from accountability if they made mistakes, leading to greater mistakes, to corruption, to them going utterly astray. All for profit."
[Ororo with the REAL questions!]
[She's 100% right. That's exactly what would happen in a normal system.]
[Adam's superhero IPO idea is either genius or a dystopia in the making.]
[It sounds exactly like The Boys, like the Seven.]
[True, maybe Adam is taking inspiration from Vought.]
[Taking inspiration from Vought? Really? That's just self-destruction.]
[But he's built differently.]
[anwhile, Domino's already here picking out her celebrity codena.]
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