“As I gaze at the flowers on the eaves, I see ubiquitous signs of war in the capital.” I lancholically gazed at the eves whilst uttering Shifu’s insulting attempt at poetry.
Greetings, ladies and gentlen. I am Ming Feizhen, but you can just call Coollord. Long-ti no see. Ti flies, hey? It’s been a sprint from Nanjiang back to the capital and equally busy in between, so I really don’t want to go there. Be free, you know? Be free. Don’t shackle yourself with the past.
Like the rail and table on the top floor of Eight Deities Restaurant, there was a sadness in my heart that the clear and gentle breeze couldn’t blow away. As I gazed at the people on the streets, they gazed back. Could you bla them for admiring my dashing appearance?
Aye, thanks for the shoe, sir. Glad to know you agree with . Love you, too.
I had t my fair share of such friendly people. I had experienced everything one could experience in their life, so what could rustle my feathers? What could rustle my feathers you ask?
“Throw him off!”
“Wait, wait, wait, wait! I’ll beco salted fish if you throw over!” I roared in a husky voice whilst grabbing onto the rails for dear life and trying to wrestle off seven big n holding by my limbs. “Don’t be rash! Rashness is the devil’s sin!”
The boss lady of Eight Deities Restaurant sitting in front of had her usual friendly smile, but what she said was, “Wait? Ming Feizhen, we’ve known each other for so years now, right? Over ten years if we count from the ti your shifu first brought you to Nanjing, right?”
“Ehehe, yes, exactly. You were there for every step of my growth.”
“Exactly. That’s why I considered the yuzhu duck I raised a tribute when you insisted on eating it. I thought, ‘Well, it must’ve been a rough journey to co all this way just for it.’”
“Your wisdom shines again. It was rough.”
“I told you that you can’t eat the duck I raised because it was a gift for soone, yet you still ate it, but I let you off since you looked tanner than before.”
I wiped my eyes. “You are too understanding. Life has been really tough.”
She bent another extended finger. “You then ate nine pots of braised pork shoulders in soy sauce, a hundred and eight small dishes, three roast pork and drank twenty bottles of osmanthus wine, resulting in my custors being so awestruck that they forgot to order. I’m a tolerate woman, so I let it go, too. However, you can’t bloody dine and dash! Boys, throw him off!”
“Wait! Please, No! Sister-in-law! I really did forget to bring my wallet!”
Yes, I had fought a dragon in an underground palace, beheaded a bandit leader hiding behind his army and scrapped with adepts across the land, but I had no idea how to escape this predicant!
She swung down a butcher knife, sticking it into the wood right in front of my eyes. “You eat into closing shop and then tell you don’t have money. Cut the bullcrap, and tell when I’m getting my money!”
Why was I in that situation, you ask? Because dining and dashing was predicated on being able to outrun your chaser. Thing was, I couldn’t outrun them. You forget I couldn’t use any martial arts skills now?
I poked my tongue out.
“You think you’re funny?! Eunuch him!”
“No, no, no, no, I was not poking my tongue out at you. It will be here soon! I swear on my life the money will be here in a sec! Mr. Shi, say sothing! What happened to our brotherhood?”
Mr. Shi timidly poked his head out from behind his wife and, in a barely-audible voiced, uttered, “I…”
Mr. Shi’s wife: “Shut up!”
Mr. Shi: “Right away.”
You! You and my shifu make n look bad! Take a page out of my book, won’t you?!
“Hahaha, Sister-in-law, you grow more and more beautiful by the day. Are you on so sort of special diet?”
“Don’t ‘haha’ . Pay up.”
I pulled the most intimidating face I could with all the saliva on my face. “Sister-in-law, on account of our long friendship, please let go for today!”
“… It’s precisely on your account of never paying in all these years that I’m flared up right now!”
“Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Let’s change the topic, okay?”
I never paid? Oh, damn…
“Enough. Can’t pay? Throw him.”
“No! Don’t!”
“Wait.”
I looked in the direction of the voice to see a maiden who’d wipe off my feet without saying a word. “Boss!”
I knew I was right to worship you!
I was worried the likes of Liu Yan picked up the pigeon I sent to Liu Shan n for help; they were the sort of people to leave for dead, after all.
Everyone stepped aside as Boss sauntered to . Staring sternly, she asserted, “He’s mine. Nobody is to throw him.”
Boss, you the boss!
“Pull him back in,” ordered the boss lady. As she eyed , she said, “Ming Feizhen, you have your ways, huh? Who’d expect soone of your calibre to have such a cool wife?”
Hey, lady, mind your choice of words. I don’t like what I hear. Does Boss look ugly or sothing?
“Spare the nonsense. You knew we had work today, yet you started this fiasco. I thought this place was a shady place when I read ‘Bring money to Eight Deities Restaurant’ and ca prepared to smash it, but it seems legit to ,” Boss stated.
The boss lady crossed her arms. “Of course it’s legit.”
“How much is the bill? I’ll pay. Let him go.”
The boss lady bead. “Thank you very much. His bill cos to a total of two thousand and four hundred taels.”
“Two thousand and four hundred?! Move. I’ll throw him!” Boss strode over and grabbed .
I wrapped my arms around Boss’ waist as tight as I could. She was so much softer and slt so much nicer than those burly n.
Boss proceeded to hamr until I released her, then seized my collar. “What the hell did you eat, huh?! You eat the entire place?!”
“I… I… It’s a long story…”
Mr. Shi popped his out from behind his wife again to pull a face that read, “Your wife bosses you around, too, pussy.”
I will whoop your candy bum!
“Boss! Save ! Please!”
Boss Lady: “It’s fine if you can’t work the wok. You just have to reach into your pockets.”
Smiling, Boss uttered through her white pearls. “I’ll pay!”
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