MATED TO FATHER, FAT Chapter 76: CONFLICTING HEARTS

Chapter 76: CONFLICTING HEARTS

ROWAN

Lila was supposed to arrive in a couple hours to finalize the wedding date and discuss which hall we would use for the ceremony.

I should be thinking about seating arrangements or guest lists or any of the thousand details that went into planning a wedding designed to strengthen political alliances and secure my position as Alpha heir.

Instead all I could think about was Amaris.

If Nia had not walked in on us this morning I would have kissed her. Would have done more than kiss her. I would have crossed every line I had spent years carefully maintain.

I paced my room trying to burn off the restless energy coursing through my system, trying to logic my way out of wanting something I absolutely could not have.

The last pace brought me past the mirror where I could see myself looking more disheveled than I allowed anyone else to witness, my hair messed from running my hands through it, my shirt untucked from pacing for the last hour.

Lila made sense politically. She was the daughter of a powerful Alpha, brought connections and resources that Gravemoon needed, gave me leverage with my father who would have otherwise written me off as Alpha material the way he had written off Ryker.

I had worked too hard to throw that away over a mate bond I never asked for.

I cleaned up my act after college where I had derailed spectacularly, partying and popping bottles and having meaningless sex with girls whose names I forgot the next morning. I had been reckless and stupid and everything my mother feared I would become if I did not have someone keeping me accountable.

Before she died she made me promise that I would be the responsible one, the older twin who kept his head on straight while Ryker spiraled into whatever darkness he was embracing.

Now Amaris was shredding that responsibility to pieces just by existing.

I stopped pacing mid-stride as a thought hit me with enough force that my chest actually tightened, constricted like wrapped bands around my ribs.

Did Ryker have her?

Does he know how she taste, how it felt to be inside her, what sounds she made when she came apart under someone’s touch?

The jealousy that flooded through me was completely irrational because I had no claim on her, no right to feel possessive over a girl who was supposed to mate with my father.

My wolf snarled and pushed against my ribs hard enough that I actually pressed my hand to my chest trying to contain the beast trying to claw its way out.

We have to have her, my wolf demanded.

"We can’t," I said out loud to the empty room, my voice sounding strained even to my own ears. "She is my father’s soon-to-be mate. And what about Lila?"

Lila is not our mate, my wolf growled back with contempt. Amaris is. The bond knows. We know.

I knew that, had known it from the moment the bond pulled us into her room, she was hers so why does he get to have her first? The thought made me want to tear Ryker apart for touching what belonged to us, for putting his hands on her first, for knowing things about her body that I would never get to discover.

It was wrong and forbidden and would destroy everything I had built, every bit of respect I had earned back after my wild years.

But I wanted to taste her anyway, wanted to have her in ways that made all my careful control dissolve into nothing.

A knock echoed through my room.

The sound cut through my spiraling thoughts and every sense I had went wild, hyperaware and focused. I knew exactly who was on the other side of that door before I even moved toward it, I smelt her through the thick wood, felt the mate bond pulling me forward like an invisible rope wrapped around my chest.

What is she doing here?

I walked to the door and pulled it open, my hand gripping the handle harder than necessary.

Amaris stood in the hallway and my brain temporarily short-circuited, every thought except her vanishing like smoke.

Her hair was pulled up in a style that left her neck completely exposed, elegant and vulnerable in a way that made my fingers itch to touch. She had changed out of the navy dress from earlier and now wore a black knee-length dress with thin spaghetti straps that left her shoulders and the delicate line of her collarbone completely bare.

She did not just look breathtaking.

She looked god dead gorgeous making me forget this was supposed to be wrong, why I was supposed to keep my distance, why marrying Lila made any kind of sense when this girl was standing in front of me making every logical thought evaporate.

My eyes traced down her exposed neckline, following the path from her jaw to where the dress began, and I wondered how it would feel to slowly place kisses along that route. To mark that skin with my mouth.

"Are you going to let me in or just stand there staring at me?" she asked, and there was the slightest tremor in her voice that told me she was nervous despite the challenging words.

I shook myself out of the infatuated thoughts clouding my judgment and stepped aside. "I am sorry, you can come in."

She walked past me and I caught her scent, breathed it in deep while closing the door behind her and trying to commit the smell to memory.

She still smelled like Ryker but not as strongly as she had this morning. Now it was mostly her own scent breaking through, peaches and lavender that made me want to bury my face in and never let go.

I gave her distance and walked to stand near the mirror and table on the far side of my room, putting furniture between us because I did not trust myself to stay controlled if I got too close, did not trust that I would not pull her against me and finish what we had almost started this morning.

She stood by the door with her hands clasped in front of her, twirling her fingers together in a nervous gesture that made my chest ache.

"Is there anything wrong Amaris?" I asked, keeping my voice level even though my heart was pounding.

She exhaled like she was gathering courage, her shoulders rising and falling with the breath. "When I first came here, you were the only one who was nice to me."

She paused and I watched her throat work as she swallowed. "Yes, your fiancée called me a wench but you took the time to show me around and actually talk to me like I was a person instead of just property."

I stayed silent because this was starting to sound like goodbye and I was not ready to hear those words from her, was not prepared for the possibility that she might walk out of my life before I even had a chance to figure out what she meant to me.

"I didn’t believe you did anything wrong," I responded carefully, choosing each word with precision. "Every bit of hatred directed at you from others was just projection. Not a reflection of who you actually are."

Amaris smiled and something about that expression, soft and sad and grateful all at once, made my throat tighten until breathing felt difficult.

"Yes I know," she whispered. "And I will hold onto that when I leave."

Wait, What?

She is leaving. My mate is leaving?