"I’m okay,"
No, I wasn’t okay. I had gotten off the call with Eric, he kept talking—going over what I was supposed to wear, what to say, and what to avoid, his voice started to fade into the background. My chest tightened, and I gripped the phone harder. I stared blankly at the car seat in front of , my mind drowning in fear.
Faith was in the car now, she was sitting next to in the backseat and she kept asking what was wrong.
Initially, I just kept saying nothing was wrong, although I wanted to tell her... to tell her everything but I couldn’t, what else could I have said? Eric made it clear that I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone about it.
The real question was—how?
Even if I wanted to tell her, how the hell would she react to the fact that I was trying to extort her ex-boyfriend’s father? Yeah... I couldn’t.
I t her gaze, my mind scrambling for a believable lie.
"A friend of mine is sick, actually. It’s pretty serious. That was his elder brother calling to inform ," I said, keeping my face straight, my voice steady like I wasn’t making it up on the spot.
She seed to buy it. Her expression softened as she reached out, giving my arm a gentle squeeze. "Everything will be fine," she said. I nodded and faked a smile.
I wish I could believe that. But I didn’t.
Silence settled in the car. My thoughts, however, were anything but still. I ran through every possible way things could go wrong, every scenario where I ended up regretting this decision.
It wasn’t that I didn’t believe in Eric. I did. The problem was .
I never believed in myself.
It wasn’t just this situation, it was everything. Every ti an opportunity presented itself, my first instinct was to think of all the ways I could fail. I second-guessed every move, overanalyzed every risk, and convinced myself that I wasn’t capable enough, smart enough, or strong enough to pull anything off.
And because I believed that, I never really tried. I never took risks. I wanted to change that. I wanted to believe in myself.
But wanting and doing were two different things.
And right now, I was too damn scared to do anything but sit here and hope this wouldn’t be the worst mistake of my life.
I was still lost in thought, staring out the window—maybe at the sea, when Faith’s voice cut through the silence.
"Are you sure you’re okay?"
She had been watching the whole ti, but I hadn’t cared enough to notice until now.
I turned to et her gaze. "Yeah, I’m okay."
"Why’d you ask?" I added, feigning ignorance.
She tilted her head slightly, unconvinced. "You’ve been awfully quiet. There’s obviously sothing on your mind... but I get it if you don’t want to talk about it."
I nodded, looking away. "You’re right. I don’t."
A mont passed.
"So there is sothing," she murmured, shifting closer to .
Oh God, what is she doing?
If she makes a move right now, I might actually snap and tell her to get out of the car.
Funny. Because the second her hand brushed against my thigh, every ounce of self-control I thought I had flew straight out the window.
A slow, burning heat spread through at her touch, and I hated how easily she could do this, how she could make forget every damn thing weighing on my mind with just a simple gesture.
I swallowed hard, my jaw clenching as I forced myself to stay still.
"You sure you don’t want to talk?" she asked, her voice softer now, almost teasing.
I let out a breath, shaking my head. "Faith..."
"What?" she challenged, her fingers grazing my thigh again, as she moved closer to .
I turned to her, our faces re inches apart, and finally t her eyes. There was no mistaking what I saw in them—want.
She wanted in that mont, just as much as I knew I shouldn’t want her. But I didn’t care anymore... The fact that she wanted made my blood boil, the tension in the air was so much that you could cut through it.
Without warning, Faith leaned in closer grabbing my face, pulled closer and kissed . And there it was, that familiar spark I felt that night at the party.
Does this an that I genuinely did like Faith?, at least before the whole thing with Ken happened. I didn’t feel the sa spark when I kissed Esther, Yvonne or even Abby.
I kissed her back, my right hand instinctively sliding to her back and pulling her closer. She wrapped her hands around my neck as she moaned softly into my mouth.
For a mont, I felt like I had everything. I was doing what I wanted a few minutes ago. Saring that lipgloss off and feeling her soft skin against my fingers as my hands glided around her body.
She slid a hand down towards my belt, trying unbuckle it, But then reality ca crashing back in, sharp and unforgiving.
"What the fuck am I doing?," I thought.
I pulled back from the kiss and I grabbed her wrist, not rough but firm enough to make her stop.
"Faith... Stop, please stop,"
"Not now," I said, my voice lower than I intended.
She held my gaze for a mont before pulling her hand back, her expression unreadable.
"Okay," she said simply, leaning back into her seat.
Silence settled between us again, the tension thick and charged.
I exhaled, dragging a hand down my face.
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow, I’d be sitting in a room with a man powerful enough to make people disappear, trying to pull off an extortion sche I didn’t even believe in.
And even though I wanted this mont, getting distracted by Faith wasn’t an option.
I need to get my shit together.
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