“I-I tried my best too… But when all I’ve learned my whole life amounts to nothing more than this, I can’t control my own feelings! I too, I too really want to sincerely apologise ….”
For a while, I silently listened to her sobs.
Soon, Senior Elsie’s sobs turned into helpless cries.
“…I’m sorry, I really am. I must have been wrong. I’ll keep trying in the future, so that soday, I can be forgiven. But right now I just don’t want to be hated by you, even for a single mont.”
She was almost pleading.
Her teary blue eyes looked at , filled with desperation.. I felt as if I might just drown in those clear, lake-like eyes.
In the past,she was once a proud and arrogant woman.
She probably wouldn’t have even bothered with a commoner.
Yet she was here now, going around with her head bowed, having cast aside all her pride and arrogance.
To the extent that she remained silent even if she were insulted or beaten.
All because she didn’t want to be hated by .
Maybe soday, she would truly change, sincerely apologise, and be forgiven.
But aside from that, what she said basically ant that she couldn’t bear to be away from , even for a mont.
It was truly a trivial reason.
I ended up bitterly chuckling once again.
Senior Elsie asked , filled with anxiety and unease.
“Do you hate for being like this…?”
That was Senior Elsie’s true feelings.
I hesitated for a long ti, then thought about Leto’s advice, which I had engraved in my heart.
The only way to respond to sincerity was with sincerity.
So for the first ti, I decided to reveal my vulnerable side.
“…Senior Elsie.”
Senior Elsie remained silent at my call.
She seed to have sensed the change in my deanour.
“The truth is, I’m not that strong. I’m scared of dying, and I’m narrow-minded… But what I fear most is having people I care about.”
It was the first ti I’d ever shared sothing like this, and I couldn’t help but feel terribly embarrassed.
I could feel my face heat up slightly, but Senior Elsie listened without saying a word.
She maintained her serious deanour.
Thanks to that, I was able to speak a bit more easily.
“As you know, it wouldn’t be strange if I were to die at any mont… I’m terrified of not being able to protect the people I care about and losing them. But what terrifies even more than that is the thought of my loved ones suffering because of my death.”
“…but aren’t you already soone precious enough?”
“Still, not as much as a lover, right?”
I didn’t know exactly when it began.
But when a burden was suddenly placed on my back, I didn’t truly feel how heavy it was.
Because it was sothing so enormous that I couldn’t fully grasp it.
But as ti passed, I gradually began to realise just how heavy the burden on my back was.
It was both frightening and terrifying.
The fact that it had to be , and the possibility of a future where the world might co to an end if it wasn’t.
Why did it have to be ?
I pushed myself to the brink, teetering on the edge between life and death as if punishing myself, asking that question over and over.
It was a question with no answer.
All I could hope was for this burden to end with .
Soday, even if I were to be crushed under the weight of this burden, I hoped that at least a few less people would be hurt.
So, I chose to push Senior Elsie’s feelings aside.
Unsure of what my true feelings were, struggling under the weight of the burden on my shoulders.
“That’s why I couldn’t accept your feelings, Senior Elsie… It was never because I hated you. I’m sorry for lying back then.”
It was a long confession.
It was the truth I had never been able to share, even to Leto or Celine.
I feared that doing so would only make them more anxious.
The enemy I had to face was a mystery with unknown power. If I, the one they were supposed to be relying on, faltered, it would only fuel their fear.
Especially in the case of soone like Senior Delphine, who followed solely because of my strength.
I couldn’t afford to show any weakness.
Senior Elsie remained silent for a long ti.
She simply stared at intently.
Feeling awkward under her intense gaze, I averted my eyes.
She might have been disappointed in .
After all, like Senior Delphine, Senior Elsie seed to admire my strength.
If that were the case, there was nothing I could do even if Senior Elsie decided to leave.
It was sowhat bitter, but it was better than deceiving her.
Because standing by my side ant putting one’s life on the line.
After a long pause, Senior Elsie hesitantly began to speak.
“S-So…”
Her words broke the tense silence.
I turned my gaze back to Senior Elsie, wondering what she was trying to say.
The fragrant scent of her body filled the air.
I felt the soft touch of her skin. It took a mont to process the situation.
Senior Elsie had pulled into her embrace, pressing against her chest.
For a mont, I felt like I couldn’t breathe.
Though her slim build made her chest seem small, it was surprisingly big—enough to cover both my mouth and nose.
It was impossible to pull away.
If I tried to pull away too hard, it could worsen Senior Elsie’s already hurt shoulder.
I didn’t have a lot of options left to choose from.
In the end, all I could do was tap repeatedly on Senior Elsie’s arm as I struggled for air.
Nevertheless, Senior Elsie simply squealed in delight, her voice full of joy.
“S-So cuteeeee! My Master, were you so scared of being sad? Is that why you pushed away? Awww, awww!”
No, more importantly, I just want to breathe.
I desperately wanted to say sothing, but it was impossible.
It was made worse because Senior Elsie started rubbing her cheeks against mine.
Then, I rembered sothing I had forgotten.
Senior Elsie had always ntioned before how much she cherished her younger brother, didn’t she?
It seed she had a weakness for younger sibling types.
Honestly, I wanted to play along for a bit.
To be honest, being in Senior Elsie’s embrace felt nice.
But as ti passed, I found it harder and harder to breathe, and unable to bear it any longer, I grabbed her arm.
“…Then, wouldn’t it be okay if we made an effort together?”
As she said those words, I felt her strong grip on loosen.
Freed from her hold, I gasped for air.
I couldn’t help but direct a puzzled look at Senior Elsie.
She was looking at with incredibly gentle eyes.
It was an expression I had never seen on Senior Elsie’s face before.
Right, she almost seed like an adult.
Well, of course, we were both adults.
“From now on, I too will keep working to apologise sincerely and earn forgiveness, so you should also decide on your answer by then, Master… Until then, I’ll wait.”
As I listened to her sweet voice, I suddenly realised sothing.
That Senior Elsie was older than .
Why hadn’t I realised it until now?
Unable to find an answer, all I could do was respond blankly.
“…Yes, I will do that.”
Trials and tribulations make people grow.
Perhaps I didn’t realise, but maybe the battle with the Corpse Giant matured Senior Elsie a bit.
Though of course, Senior Elsie quickly returned to her usual self after that.
As she tried to get up, she imdiately let out a scream and collapsed back down.
From the crack I heard, it seed that her shoulder got even worse.
Senior Elsie bit her lip and, as usual, spat out curses.
“Argh! Because of that fucking bitch, seriously…!”
And when our eyes t, Senior Elsie clamd up imdiately.
After that, she subtly avoided my gaze before watching for a reaction from .
In the end, Senior Elsie let out an awkward laugh and began acting cute toward .
“Ehehe, you know I wasn’t directing that at you, right, Master? Th-That was all because of that bitch Ludmilla…!”
The mature side she had shown earlier now felt like a fleeting illusion.
Even so, I couldn’t help but let out a faint laugh.
Right, I liked this side of Senior Elsie too.
In fact, it made feel more at ease.
It felt like my relationship with Senior Elsie had finally returned to normal.
Afterwards, Senior Elsie would occasionally stir up so trouble, declaring herself to be ‘more than my pet, but less than a lover,’ but that’s a story for another ti.”
For now, I decided to just enjoy the mont.
**
The day Senior Elsie’s conflict was resolved, I ended up drinking so alcohol.
In my hazy state of mind, I re-read the fourth letter once again.
I had a pretty good idea of who the sender of the letter might be.
It was probably Senior Elsie.
So, does that an I might end up becoming Senior Elsie’s lover in the future?
In the past, I would have denied it, thinking that it would be absurd, but sohow, I had a feeling that it might actually co true.
Everything was falling perfectly into place.
The path I had taken matched precisely with the future described in the fourth letter.
Once again, I had protected the future described in the love letter from the future.
I didn’t know how many more letters would arrive, but if I continued as I had been, eventually, it would all co to an end.
With that comforting thought, I drifted off to sleep and soon began to dream.
The dream was long, and vividly chaotic.
How much ti had passed?
Gasping for breath, I opened my eyes and instinctively turned towards the bedside table.
And as if it were the most natural thing, there was another letter.
Just like always.
No, actually, it wasn’t exactly ‘just like always’.
Because this ti, there was sothing blatantly different compared to the letters that I had received before.
Unable to wipe away even the cold sweat trickling down my face, I let out a hollow laugh.
“…What is this?”
On the table, there were two letters.
It was the beginning of sothing new.
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