My mind had stopped working, so I stepped out into the corridor to give myself so fresh air. The corridor wasn't spinning. I was.
Maybe I was losing it.
Maybe I was just... alive.
I was breathing, sure—but it felt like I'd borrowed soone else's lungs.
My fists weren't at my sides, they were buried sowhere inside .
The door shut behind like soone had carved a verdict onto my back—
"Nothing will be the sa now."
I didn't know where I was going.
Maybe nowhere.
Maybe exactly where no one goes—inside myself.
Then a voice grabbed .
"Aira!"
It was Nami.
Like the last thread of sothing real.
Like a hand you catch while drowning.
She grabbed my wrist.
No—she dragged .
Away from stares, whispers,
Away from the place where 'rumor' becos a girl's first na.
We ended up in a deserted hallway.
The sun's light was scattered on the dust like it was mocking .
I was shattered,
and she wasn't.
"Stop it, Aira! He's gone!"
Her voice ripped through the silence like a slap in the face.
I burst.
"He's not!"
I didn't yell—I exploded.
"He cos in my dreams...
Tells I could've saved him...
That I let him die."
I was trembling.
Not bones—
Regret was trembling.
In my sobs was everything I'd never told anyone.
Nami pulled into her arms.
Warm.
Real.
Alive.
"Please... stop,"
she whispered into my hair,
her voice not just reaching my ears,
but my soul.
"I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."
I clung to her shirt like it was the last thing keeping in this world.
"I'm sorry..."
I murmured,
like I wasn't confessing a mistake, but surrendering.
She pulled back just a little, looked into my eyes
—as if she was reading sothing she already knew.
"I know," she said.
And in that mont—
what was left after everything broke—was understanding.
Nami wasn't just Nami.
She was mine.
She was the voice in the dark I couldn't hear myself in.
And that mont gave a truth too sharp to ignore—
If I ever lost this girl...
I'd lose myself too.
"Let's go ho," she said.
Like ho wasn't a place, but a kind of peace.
She held my hand like she knew that was the only thing keeping from shattering.
Back in class, she picked up my bag like it was the most normal thing.
Like I wasn't a burden,
but a responsibility.
She walked with to the gate.
To the bus.
To the edge of breath.
"Get so rest. Don't think too much."
Think?
I didn't smile.
But my eyes whispered—
"You're all I've got."
I sat on the bus.
Didn't care about the destination.
Just the silence.
Got ho.
Mom didn't ask anything.
Just ran her hand over my hair.
Like forgiveness.
And as I reach my room , I slept.
No dreams.
No voices.
No shadows of guilt creeping through my skull.
Just sleep.
Warm.
Still.
Safe.
When I woke up, the room was bathed in dusk light,
and where pain used to be in my chest—there was sothing else.
Calm.
Maybe Arin was right.
Maybe it was all in my head.
Just a ghost that grief gave birth to.
Not a real one.
I got up.
Whispered to myself—
"I'm okay.
I think... I'm okay."
I walked out toward the living room.
Mom was setting the table.
"I'm going for a walk," I told her, grabbing my keys from the hook.
She nodded with a soft smile.
And I stepped out into the cool evening air.
I thought—ice cream would be good.
Sothing sweet to lt the weight in my head.
But halfway there, my scooter died.
The fuel gauge blinked red—angry and empty.
I pulled into a gas station, handed over the key, and took a deep breath.
While the attendant filled the tank, I leaned back, glancing around.
Everything glowed gold under the setting sun.
And then I saw—Arin.
But he wasn't alone.
A girl was with him.
Beautiful.
Laughing.
Her laughter glistened in the sunlight.
And Arin... he smiled.
My heart shrank.
Tight.
Like soone had clenched it in their fist.
She hugged him.
He hugged back.
Like it was routine.
Like it belonged to them.
They moved toward his bike.
She held onto his waist—tight—like she was ho.
I looked away.
Before the tears ca.
Maybe she's just his friend, I told myself.
But my chest...
that knot didn't loosen.
Not even a little.
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