How do I pluck the feathers off a demon chicken without, you know, dying horrifically?
Answer: Haha, I don't.(＾▽＾)
Okay, hear out. My plan? Use myself as bait.
Yes, you read that right. A tiny, helpless monster against a giant, snake-tailed murder chicken that wants to turn into its personal chew toy.
Brilliant plan, isn't it? Hahaha... I'm so dead.(╥﹏╥)
---
As I crouched behind a bush, staring at the clucking monstrosity pecking at the ground, I tried to psych myself up.
"Alright, Aria," I whispered to myself. "You've survived for three months with Grumpy and the others. If you can survive them, you can survive this."
The chicken suddenly stopped pecking and turned its head, as if it heard .
"...Right?" I added nervously.
The cockatrice squawked, its tail hissing ominously.
Yep. I was going to die. Goodbye, cruel second world.
Goodbye, Grumpy.
Goodbye, Scarface.
Goodbye, slightly improved cave I'll never get to sleep in.
Maybe in another life I'll see you all again...
No, wait. I can do this! I have to do this! This is for the camp. For armor! For—
The cockatrice turned fully in my direction.
Panic set in. Okay, less motivational speech, more running for your life.
(((」ﾟﾛﾟ)｣
---
I bolted out of the bush like my tail was on fire, waving my arms to get the chicken's attention.
"Hey, you big feathered snake! Over here!"
The cockatrice blinked at for a mont before letting out a bone-chilling screech. It charged, talons scraping the ground and tail whipping behind it like so dieval horror movie villain.
Perfect, I thought. Now all I have to do is not die.
I darted left, then right, zigzagging through the trees like a drunk lunatic.
The cockatrice followed, barreling through bushes and snapping branches as it ca.
"Why the heck are you so fast?!" I yelled over my shoulder, this is unfair. Why is it huge and FAST?!
The chicken didn't answer. It just screeched again, louder this ti, as if offended by the question.
Great, I thought. Not only am I being chased by a demon chicken, but it's also sensitive.
(┳Д┳)
---
After what felt like hours of running (but was probably five minutes or smth), I finally reached the spot I'd prepared earlier.
"Alright, you overgrown feather duster," I muttered, crouching low. "Ti to put my genius plan into action."
"ψ(｀∇´)ψ
The "genius plan" was, of course, a pit trap I'd hastily dug with a stick and covered with leaves. Was it foolproof? No. Was it likely to work? Also no.
But y'know what they say, desperate tis call for desperate asures.
（・∀・）
As the cockatrice charged toward , I waited until the last possible second before jumping to the side.
"Co on, co on, co on..."
The chicken didn't stop. It ran straight over the pit, the ground gave way, and—
WHOOSH—THUD!
Success! ヽ(^.^)丿
I peeked over the edge of the pit, grinning like an idiot.
The cockatrice flailed below, its wings fluttering angrily as it tried to climb out. Its tail snapped at the walls of the pit, but the dirt crumbled under its weight.
"Oh, what's the matter?" I taunted. "Not so tough now, huh?" ╮(─▽─)╭
It hissed at , its beady red eyes narrowing.
"Yeah, yeah, keep glaring," I said, pulling out the makeshift net I'd woven from vines. "Now, hold still while I pluck a few of your precious feathers—OW!"
The chicken's tail lashed out, narrowly missing my face but smacking my hand instead. My net flew out of my grasp, and I scrambled back.
"Okay, okay, ssage received. No touching. Got it."
---
Plan B (Because Plan A Was Terrible)
Clearly, the net wasn't going to work. So I did the only other thing I could think of: I grabbed a long stick, tied a scrap of cloth to the end, and poked at the chicken like so deranged fisherman.
"Just... let ... get so feathers..." I grunted, stabbing the stick at its tail. Why I think this was a good idea is above (´･_･`)
The cockatrice screeched, flapping its wings furiously as it tried to dodge.
"Stop moving! This would go so much faster if you'd just cooperate!" You stupid over grown chicken!
Finally, with one last poke, the stick caught on a feather. I yanked hard, and
Pop!
The final feather ca loose.
"Ha! Got 'em!" I shouted, holding it up like a trophy(≧∇≦)/
The cockatrice hissed again, looking like it wanted to murder and my entire bloodline. Too bad for it, that wont be happening, Hahahaha o(^▽^)o
"Alright, alright, I'm leaving," I said, stuffing the feather into my satchel. "Enjoy your hole, you angry feathered chicken-snake."
----
By the ti I stumbled back to the kobold village, I was exhausted, covered in dirt, and clutching three cockatrice feathers like they were the holy grail.
The kobold blacksmith raised an eyebrow as I approached.
"Well, well," she said, crossing her arms. "Didn't think you'd actually survive."
"Neither did I," I admitted, dropping the feathers onto her workbench. "But here they are. Three feathers, as requested."
She inspected them, her sharp eyes glinting with approval.
"Not bad, little rchant. Not bad at all."
"Does this an we have a deal?" I asked hopefully.
She smirked. "We'll see. First, let's see if you can survive the next task."
"Next task?!"
The kobold just grinned, and I groaned.
"Why do I feel like I'm going to regret this?"
---
System Prompt:
Quest Completed: Chicken Run
Reward: Temporary Kobold Respect (very temporary).
New Quest Acquired: Prove Your Worth (Again)
Difficulty: Still dood.
"Great," I muttered. "This is my life now. Running errands for smug kobolds and fighting demon chickens."
And yet, despite everything, I couldn't help but feel a tiny spark of pride.
I'd survived. I'd won. And maybe, just maybe, I was starting to figure out how to handle this crazy new world.
Or at least how to avoid getting eaten by giant chickens.
Speaking of which, I wonder how Scarface and the others are doing?
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