The next morning, I woke up to a goblin-sized headache. Not from any injury—unless you count repeatedly slamming my head against the taphorical wall of goblin stupidity. No, this was a special gift from the horrifying realization that I was leading these guys.
I stepped out of my rickety shelter, surveying the disaster that was the goblin camp. If chaos were an Olympic sport, these guys would've taken ho gold, silver, and bronze, then lted them down to make crude nose rings.
A goblin skittered past, carrying a burning log for absolutely no reason. Another goblin was arguing with a rock, and sohow losing. How did these guys survive for so long?
"Why does it look worse than yesterday?" I muttered, rubbing my temples.
Boulder plodded up to , gnawing on a Glowshroom like it was a steak. "Morning, Boss! Camp's looking good, huh?"
I stared at him. "Boulder, a tent just collapsed, and I think that's Gorn wrestling a squirrel for half a berry."
"Yeah!" he said cheerfully. "Normal goblin stuff." Dudeಠ_ಠ
"No, Boulder. This is the problem. If we keep living like this, the only thing we're building is a fast-track to extinction. It's ti for so changes."
"Like what?"
"Like everything," I groaned.
---
I called a "eting," which, in goblin terms, ant I scread at everyone until they shuffled over, grumbling like toddlers forced to nap. I climbed onto a mossy rock, trying to look authoritative. Instead, I looked like soone trying to cosplay as a motivational speaker.
"Listen up!" I barked. The goblins stopped shoving each other long enough to stare at with a mix of confusion and mild suspicion.
"We're not scavengers anymore," I declared. "From now on, we're a community! And that ans we're going to start acting like one. No more fighting over scraps, no more random fires—"
"But fires are fun!" soone interrupted.
"They're also how we almost roasted Gorn alive yesterday!" I snapped.
Gorn waved a singed hand. "I was warm! Like a Glowshroom on a sumr's day!" Bruh(´･_･`)
Good lord, how did these morons survive?!
I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Okay, first rule of our new and improved goblin camp: cleanliness."
The goblins erupted into groans and protests.
"Why do we gotta wash?" Gorn whined. "We're goblins! We're supposed to sll like swamp and despair!"
"No, Gorn. You sll like a dead fish that's been lovingly aged in dragon spit. And guess what? Predators love that sll."
A goblin in the back piped up. "So, what you're saying is... Gorn's bait?"
Gorn glared. "Hey!"
"Focus!" I yelled. "We're starting with basic hygiene. If you don't want to do it for , do it for your own skin. Literally. Have you seen Tink's rash?"
Tink scratched his arm sheepishly. "It's... artistic."
No, no, it's not.
---
By midday, I'd achieved what could only be described as questionable success. Most goblins had rinsed off—though so thought "cleaning" ant rolling in mud "because it's fresh dirt."
"Step one: sort of done," I muttered, watching Boulder chase a goblin who'd stolen his bucket.
Next on the agenda: fixing the camp. I gathered the group again.
"We need proper shelters," I explained, gesturing at the leaning tents and crumbling huts. "Sothing that won't fall over if soone sneezes."
Tink raised a hand. "But Boss, we don't got fancy materials."
"Then we use what we've got," I said. "Wood, vines, mud—whatever works."
Boulder raised his hand. "Can I smash stuff?"
"Sure," I sighed. "But only the bad stuff. Not good wood, okay?"
He saluted enthusiastically. "Good wood stays. Bad wood smash."
---
By the evening, we'd sohow built a single, lopsided hut. It leaned like it was trying to take a nap, but it was sturdy, and most importantly, functional.
[SYSTEM SSAGE]
Base Infrastructure Improved: 5 Reputation.
I stared at the notification, then at the hut. "That's it? Five points? We basically defied physics!"
Gorn patted my shoulder. "Good job, Boss. Next ti, we build two huts!"
"Oh, joy," I muttered sarcastically.
---
That night, I gathered the goblins for one last speech.
"We've got a long way to go," I admitted, "but today we proved we can do more than survive. We can build. Each of you has strengths—Tink's good at building, Gorn's sneaky, and Boulder's... well, strong."
Boulder flexed proudly, ripping his shirt. We know dude, we know(¬_¬)ﾉ
"We're going to keep improving," I continued. "Together, we'll make this camp into sothing great. Sothing we can all be proud of."
The goblins stared at for a mont. Then Tink raised his hand. "So, do we get paid for this?"
"No," I said flatly.
He grinned. "Sounds good, Boss."
As the group dispersed, I collapsed by the fire, utterly exhausted. The camp still looked like a work in progress—emphasis on work—but it was a start.
One hut, a slightly less filthy goblin crew, and a whole lot of headaches later, I allowed myself a tiny, victorious smile.
"Step by step," I murmured. "Even if the steps are wobbly and sll like Gorn."
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