There’s a reason why people say, “Old habits die hard.”
It’s because one’s nature doesn’t change easily.
“I hate beating around the bush.”
But Kim Sujin had to live a life suppressing her true feelings, despite her nature.
That’s just how the entertainnt industry was.
No, that’s how society worked.
There’s no such thing as a utopia where everyone can work with a smile.
Having debuted as a child actress, Kim Sujin realized this very early on.
It was a world where if you didn’t pull your weight, everyone suffered.
Living in such an environnt made it increasingly difficult to speak her mind.
And that contributed a lot to her developing a rather dual personality.
Pretending not to like sothing even when she did,
acting petulant because it felt like revealing her true feelings wasn’t an option.
To put it nicely, she was a tsundere.
To put it bluntly, she was just prickly.
But even knowing this about herself, it wasn’t easy to change.
After all, she debuted as a child actress at the age of five.
From Dr. Giggles! to now.
She’d spent about 12 years in the entertainnt industry.
Suppressing her true self had beco so normal that it even felt comfortable now.
But—
“This is definitely not okay.”
For the first ti, Kim Sujin let her true feelings show.
The reason was simple.
A photo of the person she liked smiling with another girl.
Seeing that made her feel absolutely awful.
“You could’ve hidden it better.”
Honestly, it had been hidden pretty well.
Tucked into a corner of the desk where it wasn’t imdiately visible.
But the problem was—
“You should’ve just refused when I offered to clean your desk.”
When cleaning, you naturally end up wiping every nook and cranny,
and in the process, it’s only natural to uncover whatever’s hidden.
But really, she wasn’t in any position to bla anyone.
‘I’m not his girlfriend, just a childhood friend.’
Looking at it objectively, she had no right to feel this way.
This wasn’t sothing that could be dismissed as re jealousy,
and to be honest, pushing him like this was stepping far beyond her role as a childhood friend—
it was practically overstepping boundaries.
So—
“I need to talk to you.”
Once again, Kim Sujin thoroughly hid her true feelings.
As long as she avoided the key word—
‘It’s fine.’
This wasn’t revealing her true feelings.
This was safe.
At least, that’s what Kim Sujin believed.
“....”
She could see Kim Donghu looking at her, his face unusually serious.
The thoughtful look in his eyes and the guilt that ca from knowing and yet ignoring it.
She knew it all.
How could she not?
They weren’t the five-year-olds who used to play in daycare anymore.
They were also at an age where they were too busy to focus on anything else.
“Honestly, it’s funny, isn’t it? We’re just friends, and yet here I am nitpicking over every little thing.”
You must think I’m ridiculous.
Kim Sujin buried her true feelings even deeper and kept talking.
As long as she avoided that one word.
As long as she did that, nothing would change between them.
“I really hate phrases like ‘more than friends but less than lovers.’ If you’re friends, you’re friends. If you’re lovers, you’re lovers.”
Why does there have to be this awkward middle ground?
That’s why I don’t really like romantic codies.
Even shoujo manga feels way too unrealistic.
If two people like each other, there’s no way they wouldn’t know.
And pretending not to know just ans they don’t feel that strongly.
“Sorry for bringing this up out of nowhere, but... I just felt like saying it.”
You used to say that childhood friends should wake each other up like this in the morning!
And yet here I am now, having to talk about it like this.
This contradictory situation—
the fact that I created it myself—made hate and resent myself.
“I just... I just want you to know why I’m acting like this. What kind of feelings I have for you.”
That’s it.
She couldn’t say any more.
Tears threatened to spill.
She just wanted him to understand.
‘Now isn’t the ti for us to be in a relationship.’
We’re too busy.
This is the ti for us to climb higher.
There’s no room for love in the middle of everything.
She knew all too well how devastating dating rumors could be for celebrities.
‘That’s just how gossip works.’
Even though actors’ private lives were relatively safe,
they were still public figures who earned money through attention.
Getting caught up in rumors over sothing trivial wasn’t a good look.
Of course, that didn’t an she planned to give up on her feelings.
Once she and he—no, once they—
climbed higher and found stability,
then she’d tell him how she truly felt.
But for now, she drew a line.
Letting just a drop of her true feelings slip through,
she said—
“Kim Donghu, are you seriously going to make do all the talking in a situation like this?”
This is insane.
She quickly tried to regain her composure.
No wonder her twin pigtails turned out so perfect today.
No wonder her makeup looked so good and she felt unusually sharp.
‘Was it all for this?’
She couldn’t help but laugh bitterly to herself.
Still, having said at least this much made her feel a little better.
What if her words just made things awkward?
She worried for a brief mont—
Thud. Pull!
Kim Donghu grabbed Kim Sujin’s wrist and yanked her into his arms.
“W-What are you doing?!”
It had been about two months since Kim Sujin last saw Kim Donghu.
Ti spent apart due to movie filming and Japanese dubbing work.
And in that ti, the boy’s fra had grown broader than Kim Sujin expected.
To put it taphorically—
‘He’s gotten even bigger since that theater performance.’
Back when their classmates were fawning over him, calling him a “beast idol” and whatnot,
she finally understood why she had been so indifferent.
Because she already knew.
She had already experienced just how overwhelming his presence could be.
This strong, unyielding grip that held her tight, as if he had no intention of letting go—
she had already felt it before and knew how maddening it was.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
Her heart was pounding.
Beating like crazy.
“I know, Sujin. Just wait a little longer.”
It was a selfish thing to say.
A leash disguised as a plea for patience.
But—
The point was that it was Kim Donghu who said it.
“…Until when?”
“Uh… I don’t know. Until everything settles down, I guess?”
“So you’re saying I should just keep looking at things like this and pretend it’s fine until then?”
Flutter, flutter.
Kim Sujin picked up the polaroid photo with a peculiar look in her eyes.
In it, Donghu and Chisako, dressed in maid costus, were making a heart shape with their hands.
“....”
Kim Donghu didn’t say anything.
After all, silence is the best defense when the odds are against you.
“Kim Donghu, are you crazy? Aren’t you going to answer? Don’t tell you’re going to handle other girls like this too?!”
Once again, he stayed silent.
That’s what the right to remain silent is for.
‘Not like I read him his Miranda rights anyway.’
While thinking about random things, Donghu tried to process the situation seriously.
‘Handle them like this…?’
Of course, that was out of the question.
Everyone needed to be handled differently.
And that brief mont of hesitation—
“Are you not going to answer?!”
—made Kim Sujin’s gaze grow sharp.
Squeeze!
Kim Sujin threw her arms around him with all her strength.
She was clearly trying to crush him with her grip.
But after years of intense training, Donghu’s body didn’t flinch.
“…Let’s just think about it again once we’re adults.”
Donghu’s ntion of adulthood was tied to losing his parents at 19.
He couldn’t afford to let his guard down and get involved with anyone before then.
“Adults? Why? Huh? Wha—what?!”
But Kim Sujin took it completely differently.
Adulthood? What happens then? Why adults? What’s so special about that?
Her thoughts spiraled, leading to one conclusion—
“You—you—you—you’re a pervert, aren’t you?!”
Kim Sujin’s face turned bright red.
And the result—
“We’ll talk about this later! You—you pervert! Kim Donghu, you’re insane!”
—was Kim Sujin running away.
To think a single word like “adult” could cause this much chaos.
‘This might actually be a pretty powerful weapon.’
Kim Donghu slowly replayed the conversation in his mind.
No matter how he looked at it, there was nothing inappropriate about what he said.
So why did she bolt out of the room like that?
He had no idea.
*****
Late September.
The release of Traitor: Seeds of Corruption was just around the corner.
The first teaser had already been revealed,
and the next week, a press conference was planned to ramp up promotions.
But before that, there was sothing I had to take care of first.
“So... I negotiated the contract terms. What do you think?”
“Not bad.”
It was the ad modeling contract for Ilyang Foods’ Spicy Fire Noodles.
Thanks to The Noble Gourt, the spicy flavor had already made waves in Japan.
Ilyang Foods was determined to secure as their model,
and negotiations had progressed quickly.
“But there’s one more offer.”
“What?”
Seokho-hyung pulled out a second contract.
The first option was a short-term deal with high upfront pay.
The second option was a long-term performance-based contract.
“They seem to want you as their model for quite a while... so we ended up with these two options.”
Currently, Spicy Fire Noodles weren’t exactly a global phenonon.
Their popularity was minor,
and even with the hype from The Noble Gourt, it could’ve been a temporary trend.
No one could predict the future.
But—
“I’ll take the second option.”
“Huh? The long-term, performance-based one?”
“Yeah.”
I was different.
‘Spicy Fire Noodles are at their lowest point right now.’
I’d already seen how wildly popular they’d beco overseas in my past life.
Knowing that, there was no way I’d pass up this deal.
‘In a few years, this will explode.’
When that ti ca,
I’d rake in massive incentives.
I couldn’t wait.
And just like that, ti flew by. Before I knew it, it was early October.
“The action scenes in the teaser—are they real?”
“Is it true you didn’t use a stunt double? That’s impossible, right?”
The press conference opened with sharp, pointed questions.
Reviews
All reviews (0)