I was thinking about my first novel and trying to rember it's plot and characters , when I saw a ssage on my phone , from soone whom I've been ignoring for the past 2 years - my brother.
Vikram : [Are you coming ho next week. ]
After seeing the ssage , I ignored it.
But after so ti there was another beep sound.
I picked up the phone and looked at the ssage and after reading it , there was a deep frown on my face.
Vikram : [There's a prayer ceremony at ho for her , You should co. ]
After closing my eyes , trying hard to calm the raising emotions and ignoring the whispers that I started hearing in my head.
[Hey, can I co with you. I wanna see her]
[you're supposed to be the big brother]
[Aren't I the best ]
[What are you gonna do without ]
[Why did you leave here alone idiot]
[will you stop doing that, it's making laugh]
[Don't you dare forget about , you big dummy]
As the whispers started getting louder, all the mories that I buried deep in my brain started erging in my head and with that ca the pain that I was ohh so familiar with.
I clenched my fists as a chest pain started assaulting . I could literally hear my heart beating faster and faster. And it looked like my lungs couldn't keep up with it.
I had trouble breathing. I tried to calm down and look around but I found that I couldn't move my body. I could see the box of pills kept near my laptop but I was losing the strength to even move my hands.
I started getting dizzy , I could feel myself losing consciousness every passing second.
I tried hard to control my emotions and focus on breathing like normal but it was getting harder and harder.
My eyes started getting heavier and it took all I had in to keep them open. I couldn't close them and fall unconscious here , as I knew if I did then what awaited was hell.
It was only yesterday night when I lost consciousness due to pain and the vivid nightmares all night long , which felt like eternity was the result of it.
I knew I couldn't go through that again or whatever sanity I had left would be gone for good , so I tried my best to stay awake - hoping it would end soon or one of my colleagues would help snap out of it.
But my hopes were getting wasted as no one ca to help - I could see a transparent face forming in fog near my table. It was sothing I was most familiar with - after all how could I forget her.
But I wasn't happy seeing her as this ant hallucinations and those ones ssed up my brain more. I was literally on my last straws.
It was then that soone started shaking my shoulders and that luckily sohow brought out of my trance and back to reality.
I started taking quick deep breaths to calm myself down .I took the box and gulped down 3-4 pills with water.
I could see the worried expression on Simon's face (a colleague of mine) .
I could see he was saying sothing but I couldn't hear his voice.
I gave his hand a pat and started walking away from everyone . I needed so ti to clear my head . I was in no condition to listen to anything right now.
Back in office
After Shiva left Simon turned back and he saw everyone staring in his direction.
Larry - How many tis has it been .
Simon - It's the 3rd ti this month and 2nd in this week only.
Morris - Seriously he should take a break if he's not feeling well in his head.
Simon - It's only for now , he'll be fine after so ti. It's not the first ti anyway .
Larry - But that's the problem and I an we were here today but if not then _ .
Morris - Don't spout bullshit , you idiot . It was the sa last year too. He'll be fine next month.
Larry - But don't you think it's getting more serious every ti. You saw the look on his face earlier right. I literally felt he could drop dead any mont there. I was scared shitless.
Hearing Larry's words , the other two shut their mouth. As they both knew it was truth.
The panic attacks for their silent colleague were getting stronger every ti and they could see it.
But they could do nothing about it to help him - as he didn't ask for any help , and simply rejected when soone else offered it.
It was the sa last year when all the company staff had to go through mandatory therapy for their ntal health check and he simply ignored it by taking leave for a week.
He should have been fired for it but since he was best friends with Ali and on good terms with Aarvi, the COO - no one said anything.
Well all they could do was hope that he'll be fine next month. And they can start working together again.
Though SK(Shiv Kumar - our mc) never talked much or tried to be friends with anyone but he did helped everyone when soone asked for it .
And for that they were all grateful as without him it would've been quite hard for them to finish their deadlines many tis.
If he had free ti and was not in his usual broody mood , sotis he'll even send mails to writers to improve their stories further and suggestions to fix plot holes. And that helped their team get more contracted novels and books , earning their extra bonus.
So they could only wish and pray to God that he'll be fine before next month , as next month was when they had to face their biggest hurdle ever .
But neither they nor anyone else knew that God had other plans for that guy.
And this was the last ti they'll ever see him.
A/N :-
It was hard to describe the panic attacks in words as I had no idea about it. But I wrote that after searching online for all its symptoms and effects -- and I feel it turned out great.
Tell what you think?
--- Take care of your ntal health as it's super important.
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