"Lucas..." John sighed hard, he knew this day would co.
"Why do you think that you can't do it?"
Lucas pondered for a few seconds and just replied with another question.
"Why can't we take it like this? You are good at leadership, you should pursue it to make things much better and I... I will think of sothing."
"You know this right? That you're better at this leadership thing than ?"
"What?" Lucas didn't know why the man said that, he was clearly not up for it.
"I observed all the tis you were there for your people. In that dinsion, those orders that you gave? It made us coordinate better and survive. If you think I am good at leadership, you are probably right."
Lucas looked at John who was smiling, the moonlight was falling on his beard makings so white beard hair glimr.
"But I still lack sothing that I will probably never have, but you already have it. It makes you different than the others and we need this quality in a leader, the tis are callous Lucas."
"What quality are you talking about?"
Lucas's mood had changed from gloomy to curious for the first ti in the whole night.
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He couldn't help it, even if he didn't like the job, if soone were to tell him that he was good at sothing with a lot of suspense. He will obviously ask what the guy's talking about.
"Your bluntness..."
"Ouch"
"No no, I'm not being sarcastic. You are practical and blunt which we need in these tis. Do you know how many tis you did or said sothing that normal people don't say but it still made the others perform it no matter what they thought on the inside? You have a knack for thinking outside the box, with so adjustnts here and there, you can beco a very great leader, Lucas. I am sure."
John patted his shoulder and looked at the many stars in the sky wondering whether they would soday have a ride there too.
He didn't know that he was literally at a plain and unending surface while the so-called stars he saw were actually the many dinsions the darkness-filled caretaker had dampled with.
"But what if I don't want to beco a leader, I was thinking about sothing just now. It may sound selfish but I would like to travel alone for a few days..." Lucas finally told John what he actually had in his mind.
His not wanting to be a leader was true to so extent but the main thing that he wanted to talk about was this.
"What?" John frowned for the first ti that night, he had thought that he was reading Lucas like an open book but unusual things keep happening. Lucas just said sothing entirely different that he hadn't predicted.
"I... I am not strong enough, Uncle John. And I won't achieve what I want by traveling in this increasingly large group. I want to wander alone and fight with all I got until I end the one in front of . I want to taste a victory without help." Lucas's expression soon started to change to that of an innocent grin which made John feel that was bad news.
"Damnit Lucas, do you even know what you're talking about? I am happy you didn't say this in front of the others. Before we get on this topic, I wanna ask you sothing..."
Lucas waited for him to ask but soon a few seconds passed and John only kept thinking.
"What is it?"
"Sigh... there is no way to ask this... but do you have so issues with your personality? Sorry for asking this strough forward but I know that you won't mind" John asked right at Lucas's face which made Lucas very surprised.
"Issues? I don't understand."
"Believe , you're a very good kid. You're kind, you take care of all of us like your own. But sotis... I get this feeling that you want sothing more and there is a flip in that kind of personality. I am only saying this now as I think we are close enough. Don't answer if you don't want to."
John was moving on eggshells with this topic which was not the typical him. Lucas kept looking at him with his mind sowhere else scaring him further that he ssed up and hurt him by saying all that.
"Damn... I never would have said this in front of soone else, But you have caught on with ." Lucas said and stopped before he started the next seconds with a deep breath.
"There is this thing inside that gets awakened from ti to ti. It has been happening from a young age but I have been suppressing it. I... get a drive to fight with anything I see. I just think about ways I can take the person or things down even if the latter is peaceful. Even I don't understand why this is.
Sorry, I have already said everything and I don't think anything is coming out of this conversation..." Lucas said.
He was very embarrassed after saying all that in front of soone for the first ti. He thought that John would just take it as Lucas making these things up to look cool or sothing but he knew that it was not all that.
"Do you have the feeling to kill?" John asked with a serious face.
"No No, never. I just have this drive to just fight and see it through. I wanna fight to the death but not kill. I want to shed blood and make bloodshed of others while I fight but not death." Lucas clarified many things that made John finally relieved.
"Lucas, all this that you have told . This is all just part of your personality. You want to fight, I get it. I also know now that this drive inside you that you just explained with 'Awakened', its just an innocent fighting spirit. There is nothing wrong with it at all."
When Lucas looked at John's smile, he knew that the man had trusted what he said. Lucas was so touched that he just wanted to scream at the top of his lungs. The first ti he told anyone about it and he not even believed it but also gave an explanation like a therapist.
"But I am not done."
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