Chapter 180: Acceptance
Liam held the pipe in his mouth, puffing dark smoke quietly while, unknowingly to him, his Master was about to uncover his deepest secret.
The sense of weakness that afflicted Liam didn’t wane, but he faced it with no anxiety. He knew his cultivation would recover its strength in a matter of days, even without healing pills.
If anything, Liam couldn’t help but review the other scary aspect of the breakthrough, sothing that every cultivator faced, but that was especially nasty in his case.
The Alchemy Elder had warned Liam on their first eting, but he now realized that he had underestimated the issue. Liam didn’t care for pain, but the need for poison to cultivate was quite a cruel fate.
Fire burned, water suffocated, and every other nature probably had its own painful drawbacks, but poison had to be among the worst.
Despite having healed, Liam couldn’t shake off the sensation of having additional tunnels carved through his body by a corrosive liquid. He had risked a permanent debilitating injury there, on top of death, and that promised to be a trend rather than a random occurrence.
’I should always have healing pills ready beforehand,’ Liam decided. ’It seems I can probably survive most, if not all, rank 1 poisons, but not in one piece.’
That problem might even affect Liam from bottleneck to bottleneck. If his cultivation’s requirents skyrocketed, he might need healing pills just to be able to survive the journey to the peak of a stage in one piece, more than doubling his potential expenses.
Of course, those were problems for later. The current breakthrough was the issue, and the Elder was taking care of it, so Liam planned to rest easy, only for sothing to invade the cave.
"I-it’s lissa," lissa’s voice echoed past the entrance.
Liam’s face snapped at the boulder, but he hesitated, and not due to the headache that the sudden movent had flared.
In a different situation, Liam would have wanted nothing more than to see lissa, more than seeing, actually. Their last interaction had been the incredible, intimate kissing session, and he wanted to pick up from where they had left off.
Yet, the previous experience had reminded Liam of the barrier he had to keep, which felt worse with lissa due to whatever they were doing, albeit triggering a different kind of guilt.
Nevertheless, Liam still dressed up, not even leaving the pipe as he opened the boulder. He closed it as soon as lissa entered, but he kept his face down, even planning to return to his previous spot.
That behavior was eerily similar to what Liam had done with Lucy after the events with the wolf. It was for the sa reason, too, albeit featuring more now.
Liam couldn’t feel right basking in the joy that lissa gave him when his own emotions had such a huge hurdle. He believed he was tricking her, even using her, which was the very opposite of what he wanted.
Still, lissa was no Lucy. One look at the cave told her everything she needed to know. Liam had failed the breakthrough and was feeling bad, so she had to support him.
Before Liam could walk any farther or bring the pipe back to his mouth, lissa took his hand, stopping him. He still wouldn’t look at her, but she reached for his face, lifting it.
Liam took one look at the brighter picture that was lissa’s face, only for those very unnatural colors to divert his gaze. That scene had reminded him of how precious she was to him, deepening his distress.
Yet, lissa saw sothing else that switched the gears in her brain. It seed Liam could still look away despite her being so close, so she had to educate him a bit more.
Besides, lissa knew no better way to reassure Liam. He could be free to fail in front of her since her idea of him would never change.
Liam felt the soft hand on his face slide past his cheek and cling to his neck before sothing now-familiar spread on his lips. lissa hadn’t hesitated to kiss him, and his brain went blank for a few seconds.
Liam even lost himself a bit in the act, beginning to turn toward lissa, only for his guilt to win, pressing his forehead on hers to pull away his lips.
"Wait," Liam gasped, letting the pipe fall to grab lissa’s shoulder. "Senior Sister, wait."
The serious face in lissa’s vision began to worry her. After the last ti, she believed she and Liam were a done deal, but he might still change his mind and reject her.
The worry worsened when Liam began to sit and brought lissa down with him. Everything about the situation pointed to a serious talk, and she felt panic rise through her mind.
Luckily, Liam’s next words dispersed that panic, and quite in a shocking manner.
"I compared you to a boar," Liam bluntly said, frowning at the still ringing headache. "And then, Master said I should have been the boar, and I don’t know if that’s correct or what else."
The word "boar" echoed in lissa’s brain, leaving her speechless. She had begun to like Liam because he wasn’t blinded by her beauty, but that was way too much.
"Y-you see m- ...," lissa stamred, "A-as a b-boar?"
"No," Liam replied, squinting his eyes to fight through his mind’s dizziness. "Your waist is too slim, and sothing else I don’t know the word for. I only know that I can’t stop wanting more of you."
That response was far better. It actually made lissa consider whether her manipulative sides had gone too far. However, as long as Liam couldn’t get enough of her, she would be happy.
"I’m trying to say," Liam continued. "I’m not smart. I really don’t understand this stuff."
That couldn’t be further from the truth. lissa knew it. Intelligence and knowledge were two very different things, and Liam had the first nailed down. She wouldn’t be alive otherwise.
"I don’t know how to call what we are doing," Liam explained, finally looking at lissa. "Are we lovers?"
So eagerness built inside lissa, but her face remained emotionless. She also kept a cool head, giving a straight answer.
"No," lissa responded.
Liam looked away again. For so reason, his chest tightened, but lissa continued.
"W-we aren’t," lissa said, steadying her voice, "Because you haven’t asked
yet."
Liam’s face snapped at lissa, the colors her face added to the world making him ignore his pounding brain and heart.
"I don’t know what a lover is," Liam admitted.
" neither," lissa revealed. She might not be as clueless as Liam, but her life had only provided bad examples. She barely knew the theory, but reality always differed.
"I-I ...," lissa took a deep breath. "I only know that I want you to belong to , to be mine, like I am yours."
Liam could now think beyond the superficial aning of words, feeling that lissa’s statent carried sothing deeper. He just didn’t know what.
"What does belonging an?" Liam asked.
"That, what we do," lissa exclaid, using that opportunity to set ground rules, her hand sliding to Liam’s lips, "That, what we did, we only do between ourselves and no one else."
That part sounded easy. Liam only wanted to do that with lissa anyway. She was the only one who had ever made him desire and feel like that.
"And," lissa continued, knowing she had to try to explain it for real, her hand sliding toward the source of a pounding. "That, what makes your heart beat like this, is only for ."
Liam looked down at his chest, not knowing how to na that feeling. It was affection, but also wasn’t. Yet, lissa wasn’t done since she pulled the hand she was still holding.
"Just like what makes mine beat like this," lissa declared, fighting against her embarrassnt as she pressed Liam’s hand at the center of her chest, "Is only for you."
Liam’s big hand felt a lot more than the crazy drum inside lissa’s rib cage. However, her face had now gained traces of vulnerability, keeping him focused on that deeper topic, exploring it.
Clearly, that affection was deeply personal, and, in a way, Liam believed it already was only for lissa. Still, it was really profound, seemingly extending to the entirety of him, and that whole featured a problematic barrier.
"I don’t know what this is," Liam revealed, imitating lissa, taking the hand on his chest. "And there is sothing I can’t give you."
The air remained stuck in lissa’s throat for a second, only for Liam to imdiately reassure her.
"I will keep sothing from you," Liam half-explained, "Until I’m strong enough to protect you and know that you’ll be safe."
As always, Liam effortlessly reaffird lissa’s feelings. She was basically throwing herself at him, and he felt it, only to hesitate because he feared his inability to protect her.
And lissa didn’t care. She had seen Liam desecrate corpses and had learned about the Divine Cult. There could be countless more secrets and other grim experiences, but they truly didn’t matter to her.
lissa knew how Liam treated her, and that was enough. Even if he were a literal monster for the rest of the world, she probably wouldn’t mind it, either.
After all, that very world was what had almost forced lissa to sell herself, and becoming a cultivator hadn’t changed its perspective toward her.
Honestly, lissa would rather make Liam her entire world, so she knew what she had to say before he got in his own way.
"So-," Liam began to say, only for lissa to squeeze the hand on her chest, claiming his attention.
"I’ll wait," lissa promised, "For you to understand what this is and for you to beco strong."
lissa brought her hands down now, carrying Liam’s with them, holding them right above her crossed legs as her vulnerability reached her peak.
"S-so," lissa muttered, "Ask ."
Strange anxiety filled Liam again. Sothing squeezed his heart. He felt scared, but he couldn’t say no to that vulnerable face.
"Will you be my lover?" Liam asked.
"Yes!" lissa imdiately replied, redness invading her face. She slightly lowered her head, releasing the most lodious, graceful laugh Liam had ever heard in his life when she looked up at him.
The laugh was infectious. The boulder on Liam’s chest vanished, replaced by boundless joy that had two sources. Obviously, one was lissa, but the other ca from that acceptance despite the barrier he had worried would keep his loved ones away.
Maybe Liam wasn’t dood to that half-life. lissa made him believe that, so he laughed, only for both to stop at the sa ti, their faces drawing close while they held each other’s hands.
And Liam wasn’t one for empty vows. For all of lissa’s softness and manipulation, it was that acceptance that moved his feelings beyond the tipping point.
Once the kiss happened, Liam saw it as a willing promise that he would keep for life. Actually, one that he wanted to keep for life.
It was almost a pity that Liam’s life could be cut short in a matter of minutes since his Master was about to return to his cave, and he had never been more furious.
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