"Hey, hey."
"You hold it in. And you—God, stop watching so many damn dramas."
The guys hurried to break things up between the one grinning and the one lunging with a fist. In the end, the one who didn’t get his way stood there, still clutching the unswung fist, breathing heavily with an angry face.
"Idiot. He acts like that ‘cause he likes him. That’s called jealousy, man. Like—wanting to be the only one who knows all the good things about the person you like... or sothing like that..."
"So you're saying Ash likes Koi?"
The mont those words ca out, shouts of disbelief exploded around them.
"What did you just say?"
"Are you insane?!"
"Dude, they’re both betas—and guys!"
"Right! And Ash was dating Elle until recently. The school queen, rember?!"
There was no stronger counterargunt than that. Everyone nodded in agreent.
"Yeah, no matter how you spin it, that’s a no. Koi’s cute, sure, but not break-up-with-Elle-and-date-a-guy cute."
"Then what the hell is it?"
They looked at one another, but no one had an answer. Whenever soone offered a theory, soone else rejected it. They’d circle back to the sa question, only for the sa answer to co up again—and again, soone would push back. Over and over until, exhausted, they gave up altogether.
"Let’s just eat. I’m seriously dying."
Soone’s suggestion finally earned agreent.
"Whether Ash likes Koi or not—what does it even matter."
"I an, still, that’s a bit..."
"Let’s just eat first."
"Yeah. Let them figure it out. I’m getting a cheeseburger."
"Pick when we get there. et you at Green Bell."
They settled on Green Bell and headed for their cars. The conclusion had nothing to do with the original topic.
*
As Ashley made his way to the parking lot, everything that had just happened was already gone from his mind. The only thing occupying his thoughts was Koi.
I wonder if Koi figured out what I ant yesterday.
He probably stayed up all night thinking about it. Which, in a way, ans he was thinking about all night. Just imagining that made Ashley feel so giddy it was like his mouth filled with sugar.
Koi, Koi, Koi.
Ashley leaned against his car, checking his watch as he waited for Koi to show up. He was already late. Maybe the test was taking longer than expected?
Didn’t matter. He could wait as long as needed. He turned toward the gym building, where the cheer team was practicing.
Koi would co running from that direction, face flushed.
The daydream continued.
He’ll say he passed the test. I’ll congratulate him and pull him into a hug. He’ll fit perfectly in my arms, all tiny and soft.
Just the thought made Ashley smile and his chest flutter.
Then I’ll tell him to get in the car. Better lock the doors too—just in case. Not that Koi would notice. He’ll go on and on the whole way ho, chirping like a sparrow about how nervous he was, the mistakes he made, how he recovered. I’ll react with surprise, awe, all while thinking about how badly I want to eat him alive.
He couldn’t stop smiling. He even started revising his plan to confess at Hocoming. No way he could wait that long. Ashley continued imagining with a wide grin.
By the ti he finishes talking, I’ll be at my limit. We’ll have arrived at the villa. I’ll say we should eat. I’ll serve the food I already prepared. By then it’ll be night, and the garden lights will turn on. I’ll take him to stand under one, and I’ll ask him—did you think about what I asked?
His face will flush red. He might look away, all flustered. But his ears will be moving like crazy, unable to hide anything. I’ll give him ti. Or maybe I won’t wait—I might just grab his hand and say it.
I like you.
Not as a friend. As sothing more. I’m completely into you. I can’t think about anyone else all day.
I wonder how stunned you’ll be.
But I won’t back down. I’ll keep whispering that I like you until you finally say it back.
I like you too.
"Haa..."
A shaky sigh escaped from deep in Ashley’s chest. He closed his eyes, tilted {N•o•v•e•l•i•g•h•t} his head back, and tried to calm his pounding heart with a deep breath. But it was hopeless. His chest wouldn’t stop racing, and eventually he gave up.
Hurry up and co, Koi.
Just as he turned his eyes back to the gym building, his phone pinged. Still smiling, Ashley checked the ssage—and froze.
[Ash, I’m sorry. I can’t practice today.]
He straightened up, rereading the ssage, tracing each word with his eyes.
[Go on without . Sorry. -Koi]
The fantasy he’d been so imrsed in shattered like glass. No matter how many tis he reread it, it didn’t change. Slowly, the smile faded from Ashley’s face and confusion settled in.
"What... is this...?"
*
After sending the ssage, Koi stared at the text he’d written. But the more he tried to read it, the more the tears blurred his vision. In the end, he couldn’t even reread the simple ssage. He turned off his phone, not knowing whether Ashley tried to call again. His mind was already too full to even think about that.
So it was out of pity.
Tears welled up again. Koi curled into himself, hugged his knees, and sobbed quietly into them. He’d ridden his bike out of school in a panic, but ended up veering off the path. He slamd the brakes too late, and the bike tumbled down a slope.
His body aching, he forced himself upright and checked the bike—but as he looked it over, the tears ca flooding out. He collapsed onto the ground and cried.
〈Think about it. What did I do for you today, and why do you think I did it?〉
Ashley’s words echoed in his head.
〈Do you understand what that ans?〉
This translation is the intellectual property of Novelight.
Koi choked on a sob, repeating the words over and over in his mind.
〈If you think about it, you’ll realize it. You already know the answer.〉
Yeah. That’s what it was.
A sob bubbled up again, and Koi bit his lip to stop the sound.
It was pity.
Now he knew for sure. He’d been delusional. As if Ashley could ever like soone like him.
〈The answer is already inside you.〉
Yeah. I know. I’ve known all along.
That was the truth. So why did I let myself hope for sothing impossible?
"...I like him..."
Koi mumbled. His voice faded softly in his ears. Only then did he finally acknowledge the truth he’d been avoiding.
I like him. Ashley Miller. , Connor Niles.
Soone like ...
Ashley was only being nice because he pitied .
"Uuuh... hhuuu..."
The tears wouldn’t stop. It amazed him how many tears his body could produce. He sobbed and sobbed, breath hitching so violently he felt like he might pass out. He gasped for air and tilted his head back.
Good thing I didn’t say anything.
He was glad he’d overheard the others. Otherwise, he would’ve made an irreparable mistake.
Do you... like ?
If I had said that, how shocked would Ashley have been?
More tears ca, and Koi covered his face with his arms, but it didn’t stop them from pouring down.
It was just pity. But I didn’t know my place. I had the audacity...
He could already imagine Ashley looking at him with contempt. What the hell are you saying? he would’ve said. Maybe he’d even scoff—This is why soone like you should never be treated nicely.
"Huuu... huuuaaah..."
The tears ca again. Koi broke down, sobbing and sobbing, unable to stop.
At that sa mont, Ashley was speeding down the road, furious and panicked. Koi’s phone was off, and he’d already confird the usual bike rack was empty. That rustbucket bike couldn’t have gotten far, so Ashley had jumped into his Cayenne and hit the road. But not a single person even resembled Koi.
Cursing under his breath, he scanned every corner.
Koi was sobbing under the slope just out of view—and Ashley, speeding by above, missed him completely.
By the ti Koi finally dragged his battered body and broken bike back up, Ashley was long gone.
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