The day of the engagent ceremony was surprisingly clear. Under a cloudless, deep blue sky, everyone praised the couple as if they were truly blessed, but Winston felt nothing.
When his engagent to Evelyn was decided, she cautiously asked him if it would be okay with him. Winston answered honestly, citing at least friendship as the reason.
“I don’t care who it is.”
Whether Evelyn was hurt by that or not, he didn’t know. Truthfully, he didn’t care.
It was as if his heart had vanished sowhere. No matter what happened, he felt nothing. Even though it was happening to him, it felt like soone else’s life. Winston thought he had died that day.
So even when he heard a few hours before the ceremony that Yujin had co to see him, Winston was rely calm.
“Will it be alright? I worry that he might try to deceive you with so other lie.”
Mrs. Campbell sighed, trying to dissuade him, but Winston answered indifferently.
“It will be fine.”
Watching his son leave with only those words, she wore a worried expression but could do nothing else. Though still relying on crutches, Winston’s condition had improved significantly. The day he could finally put down those wretched crutches was near.
But it wasn’t only the crutches he would put down.
Without knocking, the door opened. Inside waited the lover he had loved so much. Yujin, crouched in fear, was trembling, but the mont he saw Winston’s face, tears welled up in his large eyes.
“Winnie...!”
Yujin, who tried to run and call his na, faltered. It wasn’t only because Winston was still on crutches. His hesitation showed he sensed sothing unsettling on Winston’s face. Winston just looked at him impassively.
“How’s your body...? Are you okay?”
Yujin asked cautiously.
“Fine.”
Winston answered flatly, and that was all. Yujin sighed with relief but had not completely let his guard down.
“What happened to the crutches...? Surely you’re not still using them...”
“It’s okay. Soon I’ll be able to walk without them.”
Unable to finish the rest, Winston told the truth. He didn’t lie. Unlike Yujin. Yes, Yujin said again. An awkward silence fell between them. This uneasy atmosphere was the first ti they’d experienced it. They were always desperate to talk more and steal kisses whenever they saw each other, so this tense air was unfamiliar.
“...Um.”
Yujin hesitated, then gathered courage.
“Are you... really mad at ?”
“?”
Winston’s indifferent reply made Yujin nod hesitantly.
“Because of ... I almost d-died...”
He stamred, as if struggling to hold back rising emotions. In the past, Winston would have imdiately embraced him, comforting him that it was alright. But now, he only looked at Yujin without moving a finger. Yujin was restless in this situation, not knowing what to do.
“Sorry, Winston. Did it hurt a lot...?”
In a trembling voice, Yujin spoke. Watching Winston nervously, he looked like a fragile prey fearing being devoured by a predator. Yet Winston felt no stir of emotion. In the past, he would have fussed trying to soothe Yujin, but now he just watched as if it were soone else’s story.
“Yujin.”
“Yeah.”
At the sound of his na, Yujin answered imdiately. Nervously watching for Winston’s reaction, Winston asked,
“Is that all you want to say?”
Yujin beca quiet again. Holding his breath, he looked at Winston and tried to speak, but no sound ca out. His lips barely moved before a faint, dying voice escaped.
“I’m... really getting engaged? To Evelyn?”
Winston silently stared at Yujin. But Yujin already knew the answer.
“How...?”
Tears quickly filled Yujin’s eyes. He clenched his fists but couldn’t bring himself to hit Winston, instead opening and closing them repeatedly. Then in a tearful voice, he protested fiercely.
“How can you do this? Leaving ... You said you loved , you said I was yours!”
Winston didn’t answer. Turning away as if to say he didn’t want to hear more, Yujin froze, then ran after him desperately, clinging on.
“W-wait! Don’t go!”
He even knelt, grabbing Winston’s leg and shouting madly.
“Don’t go, Winston. It’s okay if you marry Evelyn. I’ll endure it. Just let be by your side, I’ll be fine!”
Those words only irritated Winston more.
“You like the first wife better? Then what was that jealousy about Evelyn before?”
For a mont, Yujin hesitated. Like choosing his words carefully, he answered with a pause.
“I’m okay with first wife... I won’t be jealous. Evelyn suits you better.”
“Hah.”
Winston only sighed bitterly. As he turned to leave, Yujin caught him again and clung on.
“W-wait, Winston! It’s my fault, whatever happens, it’s all my fault. Please forgive !”
“You’re the only one for .”
Yujin looked up at him, begging desperately. Winston looked down at his tear-soaked lover’s face and spoke.
“For what?”
Startled by Winston’s cold voice, Yujin blinked dumbfounded. Winston slowly enunciated each word and asked again.
“What did you do wrong?”
Yujin couldn’t answer. Maybe he was trying to figure out what to say to please Winston. Winston thought no matter what he heard now, he wouldn’t be shocked or change his mind. Still, he couldn’t let go of one regret.
“....”
In a tense voice mixed with labored breath, Yujin spoke. For a mont, Winston twitched his eyebrows. Please, not that. Fixated on him, Winston waited until Yujin finally confessed.
“I’m pregnant.”
Ahhh...
Winston’s expression turned hollow.
How could you...
“It’s your child.”
Yujin added in a trembling voice. The image of Yujin laughing in his father’s arms ca vividly to Winston’s mind. A bitter smile spread across his lips.
Will you trample on my love to the very end?
The face of the lover before his eyes was no different than before. Only Winston had changed. The expression with which he looked down at his past lover was mixed with bitterness, regret, and resentnt.
That day, Yujin disappeared from his sight. Winston thought he would never show himself again in his life. And [N O V E L I G H T] five years passed like that. He planned to end his aningless life with his heart already dead. Winston’s prediction might have beco reality.
If not for Harold’s will.
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