Before going to bed, Celine lay down on her bed and smiled gently at her father who was reading a book to her.
I love it when you read to , Daddy.
"You're all grown up, but you're still acting like a baby."
As he closed the book, the Admiral looked down at his daughter with kind eyes and gave her a kiss on the forehead.
Good night, My princess."
The Admiral was about to leave the room when he suddenly stopped at Celine's slender hand tugging on his sleeve.
Father.
Hmm?You can't sleep?"
I'm nineteen now, and I'm an adult.
"Are you upset that youre an adult?
At his soothing tone, Celine tilted her head and looked at him with moist eyes.
"Father, I don't want you to have to do all the hard work alone."
What do you an?
Tell the truth. Is Diana your real daughter?"
At the sudden question, the Admiral's gentle face hardened and seed to crack. However, he replied without difficulty.
That's right.
I am on your side, father. Youre the only person in the world who loves and I can rely on. So please tell honestly.
"I know. I can do anything for you, and you are my only pride and precious person.
"Are you sure that Diana is your real daughter?"
Yes.
Celine felt confused by the Admiral's firm answer.
"Genetically, dark hair from blonde parents is not possible. And even if there is, it's rare."
Celine's forehead furrowed in worry, her eyes downcast. She closed her mouth, and with bated breath she continued to speak again.
"If shes your biological daughter, there's no reason to hate her so much that you tried to kill her.
She is my daughter, but I don't think so. I've always told you. She's the reason why your mother died.
I believed it when I was a child, but that's strange. Please tell the truth, for whatever reason that may be. I want to be on my father's side and help him from now on."
The Admiral sat on the corner of the bed and pressed his eyelids with his fingers. Looking at him as if he had forgotten his words, Celine finally burst into tears.
She just wanted to discuss the matter emphatically. She wiped away her pearl-like tears and looked at her father with wet green eyes.
Could it be that Diana is dea's royalty?
He didn't answer. Instead he asked a completely different question.
"Do you still love the Lieutenant Colonel?"
Yes."
The Admiral sighed deeply when he saw the look of sadness on Celine's face.
Once you have power, the Lieutenant Colonel, the second son of the Duke, will accept your heart. As long as hes not the eldest son, he must have ambitions."
"Power?"
Celine tilted her head, her shimring platinum hair shook.
Father will take care of everything, so don't you worry. Soday, they will treat you like a real princess so you won't be envious of her.
It must be done before the mad duke of Progen (Noah) swallowed the Kingdom of dea. The Admiral had made a firm vow before.
(The Admiral) He will definitely take away the Queen's precious things. He recalled the young girl in the distant past.
She was a Princess at the ti, and the young Admiral was willing to risk death and unethical acts for the sake of his Queen. He tried to give her everything, even destroying himself. He believed it was his love, but what ca back was nothing but betrayal.
In fact, this was the man's subjective and narrow-minded adherence to his position.
To put it plausibly, he loved her for fulfilling his lack.
In a practical sense, he craved and loved her for her power and wealth.
It had the sa aning, but expressed differently depending on acceptance. The young Queen accepted it in a plausible sense, and when she learned the reality, she finally grew up and beca the Queen of a country.
***
The lights from the street lamps that lined the path of the garden broke through the darkness, partly illuminating the white callia blossoms, partly the clean, gravel path, partly the bench where we sat.
Noah denied with an expressionless face when I asked if he loved . He looked carefully at my face, then quickly turned away to look at the front.
I did not take my eyes off his profile.
I don't know the feeling, because the people who taught left early and I never learned it anywhere else." (Noah)
His voice sank as sad as a sigh. The feeling of sothing that has been frozen in my heart lting down.
I felt a twinge of heat in my stomach. It wasn't a feeling of anger or sadness or disappointnt. It was because I realized once again that he, like , had not been adequately protected and loved.
It was a feeling of understanding that could only be achieved when I took a step back and looked at it from his point of view. The truth was, I didnt really understand the emotion of love either.
It was a complex and ambiguous emotion that could not be precisely defined, unlike the more obvious emotions of sadness, anger, and joy. It was a cloud that could be seen by our actions and attitudes.
It manifests itself in different ways because different people want different things and think differently, and it can be warped, and even wrongly labeled with the word love.
It can be spoken depending on one's mood, it can be carelessly overused for profit and purpose, it can be taken lightly, it can be sacrificed to the point of death, and it can feel most subli and heavy.
Do you love ? (Noah)
In response to his faint question, the light chasing the darkness seed to sway faintly. Noah's hair, reflecting the light of the streetlight, turned to face clearly, swaying.
When I couldn't answer, he smiled kindly. The shadows on his face seed to be clearer the more I looked at him.
He asked again.
What was the love the princess said that day? I know it was a lie.
I lowered my eyes as if to flee and placed my gaze on the landscaping floor. It was just a lie I had said in pursuit of my easy life and a reprieve from life.
You needed in my life, eh? No. ."
In other words, it was a plausible word. I felt like this was going to be packaged as an excuse, so I quickly added and confessed the truth as it was.
It wasn't the kind of love most people say. It was just a lie to survive comfortably. Im sorry. (Diana)
Instead of getting angry at my confession, Noah smiled at . A faint sense of satisfaction hung over his crooked lips.
You an you needed , right?" (Noah)
"If you know that, why are you asking again?" (Diana)
I wondered if you needed enough to lie about loving .
I stared at Noah, who always had to ask what he wanted to hear.
Anyway, it's hard for to define love, too. (Diana)
Yeah. It was a long ti ago, when I was in the army, and I was about to be promoted. (Noah)
Noah started to tell a story as he leaned back on the bench leisurely. I listened to him as I put my elbows on my knees to support my chin.
"I heard that one of the n had fallen in love. So I observed what he would do with the woman. He gave her gifts and flowers and even t her and went on a date with her. After he went to the Delta front, they kept exchanging letters, saying they loved each other.
"Yes.
One day, as he was reading the letter in the barracks, the mans face went blank and he began to cry. He looked like he was going to faint. It was a mixture of sadness, anger, and loss."
Noah's expression beca strangely uncomfortable as he pieced the words together.
The letter said that the woman had married another man.
Thats common.
"Yes, it is common. So n were deployed to another country with their lovers, but t other won, and said love to each other. I've co to think of love as no more aningful than the lamppost you see over there."
It was not uncommon for young love to flare up and cool down quickly. It can sway from place to place like a reed carrying the wind. So it was love that could bring the greatest mories of unhappiness and leave scars that last a lifeti.
Perhaps that was the root of the anxiety Noah was feeling. It was the sa for .
He took both my hands in his.
My mind is not like that, no. I don't know what it is, but my parents were different, too. I just wanted to know what it was.
The people you saw must not have been in true love. You and I don't know much about it, so I hope we'll get to know it. Im sure well realize it one day. If I figure it out first, I'll let you know."
Is he looking for the treasure at the end of the rainbow? It seed like the sa childish and ridiculous great adventure. It was important for us who have lived with lack.
I had to grow up fast, and lived without even such childish thoughts. I'm sure he was like that, too, because he lacked emotions. Only after becoming a grown-up do we regress and wander in search of pure feelings like children.
We were hastily made, unfinished adults. Noah squeezed my cheek with a serious look on his face.
"But I like you so much that I'm out of my mind more than I love you." (Noah)
What was that all about? It was true that he was insane because he threw everything away. But he still had money to spend.
He was in a state of intense confession with my cheeks gripped and my lips pouting like a duck's. When I made a sad face, he looked at in a ridiculous way, but he smiled as if it were fun then withdrew his hands.
I stated my thoughts.
Isnt dating is to confirm love?
Is that so? But I don't know, I'll have to find it until I get married and grow old."
Then there was a hint of amusent in his voice. For once, I decided not to see it as a problem that neither of us knew what love was. A man who saw everything with a one-size-fits-all view considered special.
Noah, at least, was much more serious than most of the n I had t. The object of their love was ambiguous. Was it ?
The love they were talking about was sudden. It was strange that they suddenly loved , and I didn't believe them.
I guess it's not so bad now anyway. Thank you for being honest with .
Noah said with a smile in his eyes. He fixed his tie and got up from his seat, holding out his hand towards .
Let's go back."
I lifted Noah's crumpled coat under my buttocks and looked at it, and made an awkward face.
Before entering the dance hall and greeting the Queen, my eyes were drawn to the plump pudding on the dessert table.
Can I just have one of those and go?" (Diana)
When I pulled his sleeves weakly, Noah nodded and was led to where I was heading.
"Isn't it pretty?" (Diana)
I couldn't help but blush as I showed him the ruby-colored, moist, fresh strawberry pudding. It was because I had always liked pudding.
Yes. It's red and pretty. (Noah)
He skimd over the pudding in my hand with disinterested eyes, but responded with a certain amount of enthusiasm.
"Do you like it more than at?" (Noah)
"It's different from at. This is dessert." (Diana)
Diana.
Huh?
Noah, who was carefully watching my happy expression as I tasted the strawberry pudding with a small spoon, smiled loosely.
Why do you have the sa expression when you're eating sothing delicious and when you kiss ? (Noah)
I swallowed the piece of pudding that I had hastily scooped up. If it had been sothing different, it would have gotten stuck in my throat. I grabbed my neck for a while and coughed.
What was so delicious?"
He asked again, whispering with a drowsy look in his eyes. What should I do with this mischievous man?
"Because it's sweet. no, Im talking about the pudding." (Diana)
I tried to change the subject, but he was already enjoying my reaction. He covered his mouth with one hand and giggled, his eyes narrowed and bent.
So cute."
He looked at with a happy face.
"Do you like pudding or ?" (Noah)
You buy the pudding. (Diana)
Then Ill be a perfect man. From now on, only eat what I buy for you." (Noah)
A hint of disappointnt seeped into Noah's eyes as he went for the innocent pudding.
Hes cute.
Seeing the man jealous of the pudding, I thought it was very cute. Unlike my promise to eat only one, I ate 3 cups of pudding, then approached the Queen and told her we were leaving.
What the smiling Queen told was unexpected.
Diana, why don't you stay at Tempshire Palace for a while?
Noah's face stiffened slightly at her words. I could feel the strength in his hand that held mine. Does the Queen like ? Is this how a love triangle begins?
I looked at Noah and the queen with a sideways glance, adjusting my expression.
That was how my misunderstanding towards the Queen began.
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