Kaleidoscope of Death by Xi Zixu
That night, all of Lin Qiushis nerves were bunched up at maximum tension. His reason told him that all those images had been fake. Nevertheless, the sight of Ruan Nanzhus burned-up face kept surfacing in his mind. The scariest thing was, Lin Qiushi was beginning to have doubts about the Ruan Nanzhu whod been texting him.
Did the person on the other end of the line truly exist? Or, if sothing had happened to Ruan Nanzhu, would he choose to hide it, and keep up texting Lin Qiushi to pretend he was fine? That could very well be true, since there was precedent in Ruan Nanzhus behavior. Lin Qiushi clutched at his phone in the somber evening, as if he was holding on to a bomb that could blow him to pieces at any second.
The idea that had already taken root sowhere in his brain sped up in its germination thanks to the terrifying scene from earlier. Lin Qiushi recalled the vow that he and Ruan Nanzhu had madeif sothing were to happen to one of them, they wouldnt insist the other survive.
It was at that mont that the phone in Lin Qiushis hand suddenly vibrated. He quickly picked it up, and saw a text ssage onscreenit was from Ruan Nanzhu, precisely the person whod been weighing so heavily on his mind.
Ruan Nanzhu wrote: Im fine. Qiushi, how are things on your end?
Eyes downcast, Lin Qiushi typed out two words, and deleted them again. In the end he only wrote: Im good. Dont worry about .
Monts later, Ruan Nanzhu texted again: Are you okay? Did sothing happen?
Lin Qiushi sighed. The two of them knew each other so well that even without saying anything, Ruan Nanzhu could already guess that sothing was wrong; though his answer had been vague, how could Ruan Nanzhu not understand with that intellect of his? Just as Lin Qiushi was contending with this, Ruan Nanzhu sent another text.
To his surprise, it read: Qiushi, I t you inside the door.
Lin Qiushi, He read the words on the screen and didnt know what to say.
Are you really Qiushi? Are you really there? Ruan Nanzhu sent another text, only, the questions in it struck at Lin Qiushis very soul. Im wondering the sa thing.
Lin Qiushi replied: Then do you have an answer?
No, Ruan Nanzhu wrote. No answer.
Lin Qiushi asked another question: Are you scared?
Ruan Nanzhu took a while this ti to reply to Lin Qiushi. He said: Im not scared of anything. Im only scared that I wont get to die with you.
When he read this, Lin Qiushi couldnt help but laugh. At the sa mont, a giant wave of confidence surged in his chest. He typed out slowly: Ruan Nanzhu, is it okay if I co find you?
If Ruan Nanzhu was even a little bit hesitant in answering his question, then Lin Qiushi would not continue. The difficult would only compound with two people together, after all, so if Ruan Nanzhu wasnt willing, Lin Qiushi couldnt possibly go over there and make things more lethal and troubleso for him.
But Ruan Nanzhus answer ca quickly. There was only a single word on it: Yes.
Seeing this reply, Lin Qiushis exhausted expression broke open into a brilliant smile. He began to laugh, laughing so hard that tears fell from the corners of his eyes. Then he tucked his phone into his pocket and flipped up his middle finger at the building behind him, crassly cussing: Dont you try to fucking scare anymore, Im going to go find him now! You moron!
The most terrifying thing was living without hope. Lin Qiushi had sothing to miss now, and so this endless evening seed to gain temperature accordingly. It no longer felt as bone-piercingly cold as before.
The latter half of that evening, Lin Qiushi once again was hit by several waves of ghastly attacks, but they were all harmless in the end. He successfully survived.
By the ti the sunsets warm colors fountained out of the earth, Lin Qiushi was already lying on his own bed, deeply asleep as if everything that had happened the night before was all just a nightmare.
The next day, Lin Qiushi slept for the entire day. Then, he had a huge al before heading for the school hed gone to yesterday, filled with energy. Seated in the cafeteria, he once again started playing sudoku on his phone.
As he played, he was thinkingwere there special aspects to the doors that Ruan Nanzhu had passed? Didnt this an he could also see Ruan Nanzhus friends from before? As he thought and thought, Lin Qiushi couldnt help his laughter. Hed lost all control of his expressions, because the mont he thought of Ruan Nanzhu, the corners of his mouth would turn up.
Dayti passed particularly quickly. The sun slowly descended beneath the horizon, and night followed.
Once evening ca, Lin Qiushi was scared of being kicked out by the schools security guards, and so found a corner to hide away in. He watched the bustling school slowly go silent, until all he could hear was insect song buzzing in rounds, one after another.
The moon hooked onto the treetops, and stars dusted the sky. It was a clear and bright evening.
Lin Qiushi was seated on a bench by the school pond feeding the mosquitoes. There were so many mosquitoes here. They bit a whole row of red bumps onto Lin Qiushis arms, both painful and itchy.
But it was hardly important. Compared to his excitent at getting to see Ruan Nanzhu again, it was truly nothing at all. They all said absence made the heart grow fonderin this mont, Lin Qiushi well and truly understood the feeling.
Ti ticked on by minutes and seconds, and following the ticking of the watch on his wrist, twelve o'clock ca.
It only took an instant, but the quiet and peaceful atmosphere of the school changed. An unpleasant sll began unfolding in the air, and though Lin Qiushi didnt have Cheng Yixies sensitive nose, he could still determine the source of itit was the stench that belonged to rotting corpses. Even though it was faint, it still brought with it all sorts of bad feelings.
Lin Qiushi headed toward the rendezvous pointhe and Ruan Nanzhu had agreed to et on the tracks. The tracks were open space, and no matter what they encountered, it would be easy to avoid.
Only, when Lin Qiushi got to the tracks, he found it completely empty of people. Ruan Nanzhu was nowhere to be seen.
Lin Qiushis heart gave a squeeze. Just as he was wondering if sothing had happened to Ruan Nanzhu, there suddenly ca the sound of rushing footsteps behind him. Before Lin Qiushi could even react, sobody caught his hand, and a young mans voice, as bright as an orioles, called: Lin Qiushi, co with !
Lin Qiushi was yanked forward. He twisted his head to look behind them and saw that a few hulking, rotted bodies had appeared in the path, and were hobbling their way forward.
This way!
The youth took Lin Qiushis hand and ran like the wind. Because the night was dark, Lin Qiushi couldnt determine the young mans appearance for a good while. It wasnt until theyd passed under a few streetlamps that he finally saw, in the interlacing light and shadows, that young mans beautifully androgynous features.
Nanzhu! Lin Qiushi exclaid in shock. This is what you look like at night?
At the thought of how lofty and cool Ruan Nanzhu looked as an adult, his tone couldnt help but carry a tinge of laughter.
You were this cute as a kid?
The young man heard this and shot Lin Qiushi a glare, except his pretty appearance had absolutely no threat to it at all. Ruan Nanzhu said, are you calling cute?
Lin Qiushi, you are cute though.
Ruan Nanzhu, another adjective, thank you.
Lin Qiushi laughed heartily. Though they were currently running for their lives, Lin Qiushi had never felt so happy while he was on the run before.
Ruan Nanzhu took Lin Qiushi to the side of the gymnasium, and the two of them got a chance to stand still and rest. Lin Qiushi asked, whats the deal with those corpses?
Ruan Nanzhus tone had whatever written all over it: Who knows? Ive long since forgotten those small fries. How many doors have I been in, am I supposed to rember every single passerby?
Lin Qiushi watched Ruan Nanzhuhad it been an adult Ruan Nanzhu saying such a line, hed likely find Ruan Nanzhu extra cool. But it was this delicate little face before him now, and Lin Qiushi couldnt hold back his grin: Mhm, yes yes, our Nanzhu is totally right.
Ruan Nanzhus brows furrowed as he looked at Lin Qiushi. Lin Qiushi, is this a mutiny?
Lin Qiushi, I dont want to either.
Ruan Nanzhu, Ive only beco physically smaller
I know, I know, Lin Qiushi rushed to say. Youve only beco physically smaller, but psychically youre still huge.
Ruan Nanzhu ground his teeth. Hed heard Lin Qiushis child-coaxing voice nice and loud, thank you very much.
As the two were speaking, there ca a mischievous singing voice from the bushes not too far away, like a child reciting a nursery rhy.
Fuck, Ruan Nanzhu swore. Why is it this door
Lin Qiushi asked, which one is this?
Ruan Nanzhu, my eighth. Its a deadly little thing.
The mont he spoke, Lin Qiushi heard a childs bell-like giggle. And then a huge gust of wind hit, the lights by the roadside snuffing out one by one until all that surrounded them was darkness.
Ruan Nanzhu spoke quietly, this thing tracks you by sound. Follow , and dont make any noises.
Lin Qiushi knew Ruan Nanzhu had extraordinary vision, and could discern a path even in darkness. So he clasped Ruan Nanzhus hand back and allowed Ruan Nanzhu to guide him forward.
Ruan Nanzhu was tiny and so were his hands. With just a little bit of force, Lin Qiushi could wrap himself around his entire hand.
A soft rustling made its way to their side. Ruan Nanzhu and Lin Qiushi walked carefully, doing their best not to make any sound.
Lin Qiushi heard a breathing noise slowing next to them. It stopped so close by that Lin Qiushi could pretty much feel the breaths gusting over his arm hanging at his side.
But then Ruan Nanzhu, walking ahead, suddenly stopped. He seed to have spotted sothing, and gave Lin Qiushis hand a light squeeze.
Lin Qiushi didnt dare move. The truth was he could clearly feel a pair of icy hands mounting themselves to his shoulders. The hands felt like a child'sthey were tinyand they had the temperature of ice cubes. Even through clothing, the icy wave they gave off kept emanating onto Lin Qiushis body.
As for Ruan Nanzhu, he seed to have encountered a bindLin Qiushi could feel a thin layer of sweat erging from his palm. Lin Qiushi couldnt see anything, but could still distinctly feel the tension in the atmosphere.
And at the mont, just before everything congealed, a loud crash of glass shattering sounded from a school building not far from them. Following that was the thud of sothing heavy hitting the ground. The hands that had been fixed to Lin Qiushis shoulder disappeared in an instant, and Ruan Nanzhu squeezed Lin Qiushis hand and took off.
The extinguished lights by their side lit up once more. Lin Qiushi could finally see their surroundings.
It had taken only minutes in the dark for the woods surrounding them to beco draped in a mass of cobwebs. In these cobwebs, pairs and pairs of red eyes followed them with malicious glares. Lin Qiushi first thought those were spiders about the size of human skulls, but upon closer observation, it was actually a giant spider on which was hung a number of human heads. These heads had not yet died; their eyes were still moving. Their glares followed Lin Qiushi and Ruan Nanzhu out, vicious and pursuing.
Ruan Nanzhus head and shoulders were covered with cobwebs. Once they were in a safer place, he finally let out a breath of relief and began tugging the white webs off his body.
Standing behind Ruan Nanzhu, Lin Qiushi didnt actually have much of the stuff on him. He too began helping Ruan Nanzhu with the webs, asking, what was the thing that jumped just now?
Had it not been for the sound that drew the monster away just now, they might both be goners now.
Ruan Nanzhu said, my friend.
You have a lot of friends, right? Lin Qiushi said. Inside the doors.
I guess, Ruan Nanzhu sighed. Well, its good enough knowing theyre living good lives here.
Lin Qiushi recalled sothing.
You also saw your senior, right? If he disappeared in the twelfth doorthen he probably has so hints? Whether it was the eleventh or twelfth door, as soone whod been through it before, any hints he could provide were most likely important.
But Ruan Nanzhus laugh was bitter. As if wed be so lucky.
Lin Qiushi, hm?
I asked him every question you could think of, but he said he didnt know, Ruan Nanzhu said. Whether the eleventh or the twelfth door, he had no mory of them.
Lin Qiushi, He didnt think the answer would be like this.
I didnt feel this way outside the door, but now, it does seem strange, Ruan Nanzhu said. Back when my senior passed the eleventh door, I was still a newbie, so I didnt ask too many questions. But other people must have asked for details on the eleventh door, and they must have recorded itBut that wasnt the case.
Lin Qiushi frowned. And we didnt seem to have realized it either.
Ruan Nanzhu nodded. As if
Lin Qiushi, as if our mories about the matter have been intentionally dulled down?
What ought to have been a crucial matter had been wiped clean from their minds, but nobody had thought it strange. It wasnt until theyd entered their eleventh door did the strangeness beco abruptly apparent.
Thats right. Thinking back on it now, how could it have possibly been not recorded? Ruan Nanzhu said. My senior still had so many friends, theres no way he wouldnt have wanted them to pass. And theres the twelfth door
Lin Qiushi said, what happened with the twelfth door?
Ruan Nanzhu said sothing that Lin Qiushi had not expected: After passing his eleventh door, my senior went missing.
Missing?! Lin Qiushi was stunned. But didnt you say he stayed at Obsidian?
Right, he was still at Obsidian, Ruan Nanzhu said. But his existence just started fading for everybody, myself included. In the mansion, he beca like so sort of invisible man He carefully chose his words, wanting to accurately describe that eerie feeling. As if we all knew he was there, but we couldnt see him at all.
Lin Qiushi was silent for a while, before saying hoarsely, Nanzhu.
Ruan Nanzhu looked up at Lin Qiushi.
Throat bobbing, Lin Qiushi said, Irecall that youve never ntioned your seniors na.
Ruan Nanzhu froze.
Lin Qiushi, do you still rember what he was called?
Hed seen so items from that seniors possession in Ruan Nanzhus care before, but thinking back on it now, he discovered that hed practically forgotten what those items looked like. And he didnt think Ruan Nanzhu was the type of person to forget the deceasedunless, this forgetting signified sothing
A montary blankness appeared on Ruan Nanzhus face. He opened his mouth, and seed to be on the verge of saying that na out loud. But in the end he failed. A na that ought to have been firmly rembered could not be teased out of his mories. He only knew he had such a senior, but could not rember that seniors na.
Is he really dead? Or Lin Qiushi felt goosebumps rising along his arms. Or has he passed the twelfth door?!
Ruan Nanzhu, He closed his eyes, unable to answer Lin Qiushis question.
The wind gusted by again, sending the leaves around them rustling. Lin Qiushi heard the song again, and knew they had to run for their lives once more.
This ti, Lin Qiushi was the one who took Ruan Nanzhus hand. He murmured in Ruan Nanzhus ear, dont worry. No matter where, as long as youre there, Im willing to go too.
Even to hell.
Ruan Nanzhu looked back at Lin Qiushi, and a grin appeared on his face. His hair was a bit long, fitting oddly in with his youthful face and deep-set eyes. He pushed up to tip-toes and left a gentle kiss on Lin Qiushis lips.
Its the sa for .
Lin Qiushi laughed brightly.
What followed was a frantic escape. The two of them were practically poor little mice under a playful cats claws, doing all they could do seize any opportunity to survive.
And Lin Qiushi too got to witness in totality the terror of Ruan Nanzhus doors. Throughout the evening, the amount of rest they got did not total up to an hour. Even when they just stood by the roadside, things like body parts would fall from the treetops around them.
At first Lin Qiushi was nervous, nervous that he would drag Ruan Nanzhu down. Afterwards though, he grew numb to it, and only continued to follow Ruan Nanzhu in their endless hiding across campus.
Lin Qiushi asked, couldnt we leave the school?
Ruan Nanzhus answer was that he was more familiar with the schools environnt, leaving might actually prove more troubleso. If they didnt have to, he thought staying in the school yielded more predictable results.
In between running for their lives, Lin Qiushi also saw many of Ruan Nanzhus good friends, even so ghosts and monsters that liked Ruan Nanzhu.
This was practically a giant playground; those with grievances voiced them, those with vengeance wrought it, and of course there were those who ca to repay their debts.
No wonder Ruan Nanzhu never had ti to reply to Lin Qiushi before. Given the current intensity of their escape attempts, the two of them were lucky just to find ti to chat.
They passed the night like this. When it was almost morning, the two of them sat resting by the cafeteria.
Ruan Nanzhu had sustained mild injuries, but none that were too serious. Lin Qiushi helped him with a simple bandage job, and while he was bandaging it, Ruan Nanzhu watched Lin Qiushi with a certain intensity in his eyes.
Youve seen how I pass my nights, he said. Are you coming back tomorrow?
Lin Qiushi nodded with a grin. Though his evenings were much easier by comparison, he still wanted to stay by Ruan Nanzhus side.
Fine, Ruan Nanzhu said. As you wish.
As per their promise to each other, Ruan Nanzhu did not push Lin Qiushi away again. The two of them leaned against each other, waiting for dawn to rise.
Lin Qiushi said, so you were this skinny back in high school, huh? Hed helped Ruan Nanzhu with the bandages, and naturally had seen Ruan Nanzhus body. Though high schooler-Ruan Nanzhu was already tall, he wasnt as fit, and wasnt anywhere close to his level as an adult.
Ruan Nanzhu squinted at Lin Qiushi, and didnt reply.
Lin Qiushi, the you right now, is really so cute.
Ruan Nanzhu was blank-faced. Then do you like the now or the in the future?
Lin Qiushi, He shouldnt have brought this subject up. Ruan Nanzhu was, after all, soone who managed to get jealous of himself in drag. Getting jealous of his younger selfLin Qiushi had to hand it to him.
But under Ruan Nanzhus glare, Lin Qiushi still sold out his own soul. He said: I like both!
Ruan Nanzhu, tsk.
Lin Qiushi, Whats that disappointed expression supposed to an?
When it was almost daybreak, they also discussed the matter of the key, but had no leads at all. This door was simply too strange. The monsters that appeared every night were pretty much different, and though so monsters appeared twice, they still couldnt work out any clues.
No Solution really had no solutions. At least for now, neither of them could identify any sort of pattern.
A matter of more concern was that theyd discovered the monsters appearances were in order. The order followed when theyd gone into the doors, and increased as they went along
Maybe we have to experience all the doors? Ruan Nanzhu deduced. We have to go through every monster from every door one more ti
Lin Qiushi had another thought. He said, its not just the monsters.
Ruan Nanzhu glanced at Lin Qiushi.
There are past people too, Lin Qiushi said. Isnt this likea trial?
Ruan Nanzhu nodded.
Lin Qiushi, you add so, subtract so, and everything goes back to zero. If they hate you they kill you, if they love you they save you.
He propped his chin up in his hand, watching the lifting warmth of dawn at the edge of the sky. The urge to sleep rose in his mind, and Ruan Nanzhu fell to it first, collapsing into Lin Qiushis arms.
Watching Ruan Nanzhus sleeping face, Lin Qiushi leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to that forehead. Then, he too closed his eyes and fell deeply asleep.
This was, since Lin Qiushi first entered the eleventh door, the best sleep hed gotten. Because he knew that Ruan Nanzhu was right by his side, and when the night ca in, they would be able to see each other.
And co ghosts or monsters or death, nothing could separate the two apart. He was no longer scared. The giant cavity inside his heart had been filled with anothers gentle soul.
What ought to have been terrifying evenings, because of Ruan Nanzhus very existence, beca sothing to look forward to.
Lin Qiushi finally understood that phrase, that to love soone was to gain both the soft cartilage and the armor that protected it.
They had finally beco each others most dependable backing.
Translators Notes:
The soft cartilage and armor line () is essentially the sa phrase as used in Ch. 128 ( ), so Ive changed that translation to match.
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