Oni glanced at the breakfast and then her sight returned to Jesse. By now, she confird that all this is real. It is happening. But she could not understand why…"Why are you doing this?"
Jesse reached with his hand with an intention to touch her cheek, but he rembered her freezing last night when he held her, so he decided not to. His hand changed direction half-way and landed gently on top of hers.
"Oni… I told you last night… I can't stay away from you. I know I ssed up. And I don't expect you to forgive or to forget what happened. But I hope that you will give a chance to show you that I can change. For you."
Oni stared at his hand covering hers and she struggled to process his words. "What do you an by: give you a chance?"
"It will take ti. Months, years maybe… but I want a chance to show you how much you an to . Oni, I am sorry… I took you for granted and only when facing the possibility of losing you I understood that I can't allow that to happen."
"You don't want to lose ?", Oni robotically asked.
She was unable to believe her ears. What is going on? Is she still dreaming? She slowly retracted her hand which was under his and rubbed it with her other one to confirm that the sensation is real.
Jesse sighed. "As you know… I belonged to the Shadow Ravens. About three years ago, my team was betrayed. Everyone perished except for . It didn't take long for to find out that the assassins are after . When I found out that the betrayal ca from within the Shadow Ravens, I lost more than my team… I lost myself. I was angry and I craved for a revenge because I was with Shadow Ravens since I was twelve years-old and it all collapsed in a flash. eting Sarah and Aiden gave hope that I can get my answers. I wanted to know: why?"
Jesse put his face in his palms and contemplated if he should ntion his ex-lover (aka Jesse), but he decided not to. It will only hurt Oni, and Jesse is dead.
He also beca aware of the fact: the strength of emotions he felt for Oni last night and even right now, are nothing he experienced before. He lost his mind at the thought that he might lose her, and that can an only one thing: Oni is the one for him and he hopes is that it's not too late.
As much as he wants revenge for Jesse, that is what it is: just a revenge and nothing else; there are no other lingering feelings. This realization pushed him into deciding to use his real na going forward, because he does not want to be lost in the revenge. He was so focused on the darkness, that he missed and neglected his chances for happiness, and that is where Oni cos.
His feelings for Oni are true. Oni's intelligence, stubbornness, perseverance, honesty, innocence… it all makes a wonderful young lady who is right now in front of him, listening attentively to his every word, like always.
He looked up at Oni. "Oni, in the last three years I'm living in the dark, consud in thoughts of revenge and the only bright thing that can break through that darkness is your smile. Last night I realized that if I lose you, I will lose myself."
Oni listened to Jesse's story while holding her breath. She knew that Jesse was with Shadow Ravens before Sarah and Aiden found him in the diamond mine in Sierra Leone with the other kids, but she didn't know the details.
As much as she was touched that he shared all this with her, Oni didn't understand where this is going.
"What do you expect to do?"
"Don't chase away. Allow to be by your side and create happy mories which will erase the bad ones."
Oni looked at him in disbelief. "What if you create more bad ones?"
"Then… you can chase away."
Oni had so many questions. Why is Jesse acting like a different person? Does he really care about her? But even if he does, there is still that one thing... "And then what? You can go and have fun with other won while I stay ho as your beacon of light?"
"There will be no other won."
"But what about ? What if I am not happy with just staying ho?"
Jesse frowned at her insinuation that she wants to go out and date… other guys. "You are sixteen. Where do you want to go and what would you like to do?"
"I will be seventeen this year!", Oni reminded him and answered his question with her own: "What if I want to go out for a dinner or to a nightclub with soone?"
Jesse took a deep breath while his eyes didn't leave hers. As he exhaled, his expression softened, and he responded: "That is acceptable. As long as that soone is ."
Oni didn't respond. All this is too overwhelming. He said how her injuries are more important than the mission, and that he will behave and not be with other won and stay by her side and… date her?!
She decided not to continue talking about this because it is too much for her love-stricken and aching sixteen (soon to be seventeen) year-old heart.
Oni took a deep breath and her sight fell on the clock at the bedside table. "We are behind the schedule for scouting. It seems that you don't want to go due to my feet. What about you?"
"I want you to rest. Today at least. I will stay with you and help you so that you don't stress your wounds. Sarah's cream is great for healing but if you keep on walking, you are making it worse and ten creams will not be enough."
Again, Oni was not sure what to think about this. He will stay with her? "Are you OK with neglecting the mission?"
Jesse smiled. He knows that this is Oni, always worrying about others. "You are hurt now, and the Shadow Ravens are not going anywhere. We can resu when you are better and if that is not enough, we will co back so other ti."
Oni was conflicted. Part of her likes that he put her in front of his mission, and part of her was irked that he insinuated that the two of them will co back so other ti. She didn't agree to have missions with him after this one.
Oni rembered Sarah's words, to not allow to get swept into emotions and regret things done in the spur of the mont. And she is definitely emotionally unstable.
Oni needed a change of topic…"Jesse, did you have your breakfast?"
"Can you call Michael?" He saw Oni's nod in agreent and answered her question: "I didn't eat yet. I am not hungry."
Oni looked at the two slices of toast in her tray and handed him one. "You should eat at least this much… Michael."
Jesse smiled and accepted the toast.
Oni pushed the glass of orange juice closer to him. "I feel like milk. You can have this."
Jesse knows that Oni likes both milk and orange juice, but he prefers the juice and she knows that because she is watching him, just how he is watching her. She giving the juice to him ans that she is considering him.
Jesse took her offering and they ate in silence.
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