Inexorable Chaos IC GOD GAMES is now releasing

IC GOD GAS is now releasing.

The musky sll of old paper and masculine sweat perate the court chambersno doubt caused by the combination of a struggling air conditioner, brilliant sunshine pouring in through large windows, and the eighty seats filled with sweaty lawyers.

Yes, the courtroom is packed with tall, muscular lawyers dressed in intimidating black suits and black sunglasses. They sit at attention, like soldiers, but instead of weapons, they carry clipboards and laptops. Each one carries himself like a seasoned veteran of many bloodless battles.

Well, my lawyers look like that, and, of the eighty lawyers present, seventy-five serve as my legal counsel.

I take a gander at the five state attorneys who sit nervously next to my linebackers that could break them like twigs. Indeed, the largest and most muscular of my lawyers are sitting around the five. Each mont, they flex their muscles to elicit the quiet but distracting whisper of flesh stretching fabric.

The governnt lawyerstwo n and three wonnervously stare forward. They are sweating, distracted, and absolutely out of their league.

I wonder whos bullying these poor people?

Wait, thats . I wont deny that I allowed this charade of a case to get this far just to make a point.

I glance at the Live caras streaming everything thats happening within the courtroom. Every news outlet is currently making sure that all Aricans as well as the international audience can see this one-sided, taphorical bloodbath.

The audience can also see the petite, four-foot-eight bailiff in charge of keeping the piece. Yes, sohow, the powers that be went ahead and placed what looks like a grade schooler in a uniform and told her to protect people.

Mr. Eludo, the Judge begins, You state that the combined net-worth of a trillion dollars of rare tals appearing on your properties is a result of a, the judge pauses, exhausted. He glances at the witness stands where two suited n, one nad Todd and the other Bob -or maybe Bob and Todd?- share a knowing look. God, he says the word slowly, teleporting the tals from the bottom of oceans and into all of your warehouses.

He pauses for a mont. This teleportation, he tests the unfamiliar word, is in paynt for services successfully rendered during a hero summoning to a world called Orbis. The service rendered was, the judge checks another stack of paper- a docunt with my signature on it, Destroying the world. The judge grimaces. Is this correct?

Yes. I answer completely and truthfully.

The judge looks at with annoyance and distrust. Which I completely understand. All the gods that had ruled Earth fled this mana starved coop for Orbis thousands of years ago. All they left behind are so fancy rocks and unlikely stories.

You also state that you can offer no proof, correct?

I grin towards the cara and spread my arms. My proof is that there is no evidence of any wrongdoing. One mont there were empty warehouses, and the next, they were filled with valuable tals.

Mr. Eludo. Please answer the question.

I roll my eyes. Yes, correct.

The judge nods as he goes through the docunts. After several more questions, I am finally allowed to speak freely.

Alright, let's get this straight. I lean forward. This entire case is a sham. There is no evidence that any malfeasance has happened. The governnt is just being pissy about my wealth increasing by four zeroes overnight. They want so of it, if not all of it for themselves. Not that that is going to happen.

I scratch my chin and feel the annoying stubble growing since the last ti Id shaved. They have no legal way of accessing my wealth, nor can they explain how it was obtained. Ive had the tals tested, and the sedints on them reveal that they were under a pressure in excess of seven miles below sea level. Other than seven redacted nuclear subs designed and launched by the U.S. Military, there are no other publicly known vehicles that could travel the distance to access the tals.

I grin, knowing full well that I had just thrown a wrench into international plans.

And even if I did have so craft capable of accessing the ocean floor, then the tals would be taken in international waters wherein there is no legality. Regardless though, the tals were obtained by a god and transported to my warehouses. Youre free to try and tax , but that would involve accepting the existence of divine beings into law, which, as much as Id hope you do, I know you wont.

I lean back into my seat.

Is that all, Mr. Eludo? the judge asks after a mont.

I open my mouth to answer, but pause. A chill runs down my neck and the hairs on my arm stand up.

Really? Worst possible timing.

The judge raises an eyebrow at .

Mr. Elduo? he begins, but I ignore him. Instead, I focus on the influx of mana. My soul resonates with the all too familiar energy. I glance around, trying to pinpoint the hole into this reality.

Mr. Elduo? the judge asks again.

I continue looking, growing ever more confused. Normally, the mana cos from one direction, but this is uniform.

Sothing is wrong.

As the thought escapes my lips, I feel the mana vibrate.

The judge opens his mouth to say sothing, but pauses. His eyes widen, as do every single persons on the planet.

In our vision, a block of text appears in the world's most common language.

Congratulations Homo Sapiens, your species has been magnanimously chosen for the great honor of being part of the 17894th god gas. Once your world is adequately suffused with energy, I will comnce the testing phase upon your planet. Those who pass the trial shall be worthy of joining the god-gas and becoming a gods champion.

So, please take your ti and prepare for the trials.

-Pandora, Master of The Labyrinthian, Bestower of Laurels, Divine Lord Of Gas

The block of text disappears when I finish reading. As it disappears, I can hear the sounds of distant car crashes happening all at once.

So, I clear my throat and pull out my phone, in light of recent events proving the existence of the divine, I would like to request, I check my phone calendar, a week long break to attempt to contact my ex-employer.

The court room remains silent at my pronouncent. I sigh. No, that would waste too much ti, I admit. I would like to plead no contest to any and all wrongdoings.