Arwin suppressed her feelings and continued to follow the words of her father and the elders.
Given their long lives, they must have saw things beyond her understanding.
It was tough... but in ti, she would grow accustod to it again.
Thus, 80 years passed.
Arwin turned 100 years old.
She was only halfway to her adulthood. Her body had grown considerably, making her appear rather grown-up.
Seemingly blessed, she had grown into a beauty that stood out even among the most beautiful elves.
While she couldnt entirely rid herself of her rebellious nature, she was establishing her own set of values.
...Values that encompassed her deep disdain for everything she had experienced.
This was the realization she ca to after enduring the pain of her body tearing apart every month for 80 years.
Added to this was the throbbing headache from the continuous sacrifices she made.
Her transformation began in an instant.
But she also knew,
That these feelings were natural.
Of course, no one finds sacrifice pleasant.
It was a rite of passage everyone had to experience and surpass.
Even if she had sacrificed more than others, she also reaped greater benefits.
She was blessed with a lifespan that others could only dream of.
If she could endure just another 100 years, she could freely enjoy the following 1,100 years.
While other elves had a maximum of 600 years after reaching adulthood, Arwin had up to 1,100 years.
Almost double the ti.
Perhaps she should be grateful that she didnt have to sacrifice 400 years.
She might beco one of the greats, etched into the annals of history.
Among all living beings born into this world, she might beco the most perfect being.
Perhaps she could even beco a divine being, lacking nothing.
So she resolved to endure another 100 years focusing solely on that life.
She might have to fall asleep and wake up countless tis, and scream in pain until her throat would explode millions of tis, but ti would heal all.
She persevered for quite a while longer.
On days when she was too exhausted to do anything, Arwin would take shallow breaths, weakly flip the pages, and indulge in reading.
Doing so seed to help her forget, if just a little, the nightmarish pain she felt from the sacrifices.
She liked reading, it was comforting.
Through it, she could experience a life she had never known, even if only vicariously.
Arwin led a life quite distinct from other elves, so her interests differed significantly from theirs.
If there was sothing that piqued her interest the most, it was the outside world.
The vast territory of Celebrien felt too confined to hold the experiences of 100 years.
There was nothing to see, nothing to feel.
Thus, her longing for the world beyond grew over ti.
If her dream had once been to remain within the territory and beco a respected elf... now, she yearned to step outside and beco sothing.
She didnt know what that might be.
Perhaps an adventurer. Or a musician. An artist. A philosopher. A hunter... The possibilities seed endless.
Arwin imagined the world beyond the wall of Celebriens manor which she could not escape.
She thought of the sweet fruit that awaited her after this duty eventually ended: The vast, beautiful world. The short-lived species and their cultures. She spent her ti eagerly anticipating what she might do.
Her heart felt precarious, like walking a tightrope, but she held on.
She could still manage.
Having been blessed, she had to give back.
And one day in the distant future, she would beco an elf rembered in history.
These hardships were to be endured for that shining future.
Then she reached the age of 120.
From now on, you will have to do it every fortnight.
...........
Upon hearing those words, Arwin felt emotions suppressed within her erupting like a volcano.
Until now, she understood.
She had tried to see it as a sacred duty.
...Its the choice of the elders.
But her tether to rationality was stretched to its limit, screaming.
No excuse could quell her surging emotions.
For the World Tree. For the elves. For a happy future... and so on.
Nothing could be compare to the pain she was currently enduring.
Inescapable malicious thoughts began to flood her mind.
Every fortnight, she would have to endure a pain that felt as if her body was being torn apart.
For the next 80 years.
And there was no evidence that it would end there. Maybe in another 10 years, she would have to endure it every single day.
...
She knew everyone made this sacrifice.
She understood it was just returning the lifespan granted to her back to the World Tree.
But she had had enough.
Whether it was selfish or not, she could no longer silently endure.
...I dont want to.
For the first ti, Arwin rebelled.
As if expecting it, Ascal responded.
Its not for you to choose. Its the elders decision. For the elves of Celebrien and the World Tree, you must fulfill your duty.
I said no!
Its sothing everyone does. Youre not-
-It hurts! It hurts so much it feels like Im dying!
Arwin scread with all her might, just like the cries on the day of sacrifice.
She stared directly into Ascals eyes.
Only I experience pain like this. How can you say everyone does it? They dont suffer the way I do!
A year ago, Loras also made the sacrifice-
-Only once! How can you even compare that to ?
Arwin glared fiercely at Ascal.
I do it every month! Who wouldnt be able to handle just one day?
Arw-
Its my body! My own body! Why do the elders, or even you, father, force this sacrifice on ? Why do you say it so easily? Its not your body thats suffering!
Arwin swept the docunts on Ascals desk aside.
Witnessing Arwins intense reaction for the first ti in 120 years, it seed Ascal was taken aback.
Gritting her teeth, Arwin spoke.
Fine, I understand.
...?
But in exchange, both you and the elders must join . If you all sacrifice as much of your lifespan as I do...! If you suffer with the sa excruciating pain as I do... Ill do it!
Ascals expression wrinkled, suggesting that was problematic.
...The elders dont have as much lifespan left as you do. And when the head elders were young, they didnt-
-Then, I will make a sacrifice... but at least let them experience the sa agony.
With every word, Arwin felt the surge of emotions shed suppressed for so long. It was as if a dam had shattered.
A latent fury she wasnt aware of began to surface.
After the initial outburst, every subsequent bitter word seed to pour out effortlessly.
The emotions built up over centuries were never light.
Arwin made a proposal.
On my future days of sacrifice, gather all the head elders. No... after Ive recovered, gather them. Have them kneel in front of ...! I will make them experience the tearing pain, and then they can sacrifice for the elves and the World Tree!
You only have to bear it for a little while longer, Arwin!
To you, it might be just a mont, but for , its been a lifeti!
Afterward, Ascal beca silent, offering no response.
Arwin then revealed another hidden truth.
Ive heard, Father.
...?
You said you too underwent the sacrifice ritual beneath the World Tree? Since you did it yourself, you told to endure... right?
...
But you only did it for a re 20 years, right? And that too, once every two months.
Arwin let out a sarcastic laugh, her voice trembling. It was a comparison she tried so hard not to bring up.
Im now in my 110th year. Every single month. Thats more than ten tis what youve experienced...!
A crazed laughter poured out from her.
But what do you really know...? Among the head elders, is there anyone who has sacrificed as much as I have?
Despite Arwins fervent words, Ascal remained largely unresponsive.
Theres hypocrisy, and then theres this level of hypocrisy...! All righteous on the surface, but Im the one whos sacrificing!
After a mont of silence, Ascal uttered the sa phrase again.
For the elves and the World Tree-
-And what about ?
...?
Am I not an elf to you? You see as nothing but a tool? The World Tree is truly more important than anything else?
Arwin also acknowledged the importance of the World Tree.
But for a different reason than other elves.
She felt that if that parasitic tree lived, the years of hardship she had endured wouldnt seem in vain.
Noticing Arwins deep distress, Ascal began to gently calm her down.
Arwin, I understand. Calm yourself. Ill speak with the elders again.
However, Arwin shook her head.
No? Enough. Its truly over now.
A dam that had burst could not be nded.
In this brief mont, a transformation had occurred.
It feels so liberating to have said this. Surprisingly so.
...
Perhaps I shouldve lived like this from the start. Maybe, given how slow I am to learn, thats why I was granted such a long life.
With icy eyes, Arwin looked down at Ascal, her words cutting like a curse.
Haaa.... Ill do it, once every fortnight. But thats it. Once I reach adulthood, Im leaving these lands... and dont expect anything more from .
And so, Arwin once again encountered a turning point in her life.
However, no matter how I live from now on...! Dont interfere...!!
End of Chapter
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