Several days had passed, and Adam Hyung and the rcenaries were now preparing to return to Stockpin.
Since there was nothing better to stay here for, we hurriedly prepared to return.
There were no celebrations or feasts for our victories. Werewolves suffered for a long ti, so they couldnt afford to do such a thing.
If the cheers and applause we received a few days ago were a feast, then that was our celebration.
So, it was right for us to find our own way back ho now.
On top of that, when we return to Stockpin, we would be able to enjoy ourselves in our own way.
Having operated the rcenary group for a long ti, our warehouse was filled with plenty of food and wealth.
In this war, the rcenaries were probably the ones who could live the most well.
It was only fitting for us, as well as the werewolves, that we would return now.
I watched as the mbers hamred the nails into the final coffin of the casualties.
A total of 7 people had died in this subjugation.
It was a very small number, considering that it was a casualty that ca from the full manpower of the Red Flas, but Even so, I couldnt help but feel burdened.
As I looked at the coffins with a troubled expression, Adam Hyung handed cheap liquor and spoke.
...Think of it as an investnt in our future, Berg.
I took a sip of the liquor he handed .
He continued speaking.
If thats not enough, think of it as the sacrifice which saved many werewolves in Blackwood.
And if thats still not enough, live happily for yourself.
I watched as the coffins were loaded onto the carriage.
I nodded my head and let out a long sigh.
It was a farewell I had experienced hundreds of tis, but it was always difficult to control my emotions.
When death is so close, useless thoughts begin to surface.
It always took away my energy, knowing that anyone could die just like that.
I was afraid that one day, Bairan, Shawn, and Jackson might end up like that too.
...Especially Adam Hyung. The longer I spend ti with him, the more my concern for his safety grew.
However, I couldnt let it show.
He likely felt the sa way about .
Expressing these feelings would only provide an excuse to quit to Head Hancho unit.
In fact, all of this was a price to pay for living with a full stomach and a warm back.
It was sothing I had to endure and bear.
Once again, after downing a bottle of liquor, I handed it back to Adam Hyung.
Furthermore, when it ca to the deaths of the mbers, Adam Hyung must have suffered the most.
It was clear that as the leader, he felt a sense of responsibility for all those deaths.
He would feel guilty for those who believed in the future he promised, only to et their demise.
Hence, I concealed my emotions and changed the subject.
So, when are we heading back?
The preparations will be finished this evening Lets depart tomorrow morning.
Imdiately, I thought of Ner.
With the swift return, she too would have to bid farewell to her family quickly.
She might be surprised.
Ill make the necessary arrangents and join you,
I said.
Hyung nodded in understanding.
****
There was still a wall between Ner and .
We laughed together during the march a few days ago, but afterward, our emotions settled down, and things returned to how they were before.
She still placed a pillow between us when we slept, she still used formal speech with , and she still showed slight reluctance when we were alone together.
Perhaps, in a way, I should consider myself fortunate. At least she remained by my side quietly when others were around.
It didnt matter when we were alone because I made a conscious decision to give her ti.
I didnt want to force her to fit my standards.
It was said that it took ti for werewolves to like soone. That kind of love lasts a long ti.
It was akin to a love as solid as charcoal.
If I considered the current preparations, I had no complaints.
I needed to understand her.
...And honestly, I wasnt deeply in love with her either yet.
I had a clear understanding that she was soone I should take care of, but it was different from love and a profound bond.
I was aware of that difference.
So even if she didnt respond to my efforts, it wouldnt greatly affect .
As for now, I had to worry about how to get along with her without fighting
If it took ti, instead of trying to make it feel like a married couple, I thought about starting as friends.
Ner.
I found Ner in the forest within Blackwoods territory.
It was quite a distance from where we had our wedding.
This place was believed to be the resting place of Blackwoods ancestors.
It was a place where the sunlight was partially blocked by the leaves, creating a tranquil atmosphere with a cool breeze.
However, it wasnt excessively dark either.
Birds chirped, and butterflies fluttered around as Ner turned her head to look at .
She was sitting gracefully, kneeling in front of a grave.
Her long, white tail gently touched the grave, filled with a sense of lancholy.
I had felt it for several days, but it seed that touching the werewolfs tail also implies that it was sothing precious.
When forming a soul bond, they also intertwined their tails, and now, as she mourned, she touched the grave with her tail.
How did you find ?
I asked one of the maids.
Ner nodded her head.
As I looked ahead of her, our wedding ring was taken off and lying on the ground.
I felt that the combination of her dislike of this marriage and the unfamiliar feeling of the ring made her feel uncomfortable.
It didnt matter since it was just the two of us.
Putting those trivial matters aside, I spoke to Ner.
Well leave tomorrow.
Yes?
Because theres nothing good for us to stay here any longer.
Ner shifted her gaze to the grave. Her tail swayed gently again.
...Isnt it too sudden?
We have to go back too.
I had never seen her hold sothing so dearly before.
She had always been distant from her family all her life, but the person buried there must have been soone precious to her.
...Who is it?
I asked.
Ner paused for a while, as if yearning for that person, then whispered quietly.
...My grandmother.
...Were you close?
Yes. She... was the person I loved the most.
Ners voice still contained a faint pain.
Just from that voice alone, I could vaguely sense how much she loved her grandmother.
She continued speaking, as if proudly proclaiming her love of her.
...She beca like a mother to in place of my own mother. She beca a friend to when I was lonely. She comforted every ti I cried and supported , even when everyone pushed away... She was always on my side.
If it werent for my grandmother, I wouldnt have been able to endure all this. Especially the things she said... Ah.
?
Ner fell silent for a mont and then spoke again.
...Anyway.
Were leaving tomorrow morning?
Yes.
Its the first ti Ive ever left her grandmothers side Im afraid, to be honest. And going to the human village...
I listened quietly to her words.
I could understand her perspective, as it would undoubtedly be a frightening situation for her.
For , all I could offer was formal comfort.
...Ill help you adjust.
Ner turned to look at .
Indeed, our relationship had grown much closer over the past few days.
She didnt seem to be afraid of anymore.
In the first place, it didnt make sense for a married couple to fear each other.
However, Ner looked at for a long ti, then let out a sigh with a guilt-ridden expression.
Berg?
Yes.
Can I be honest with you?
I sensed that a heavy subject was about to be broached, perhaps sothing she had kept hidden while fearing .
I nodded. I didnt forget that even this was possible because she had opened her heart to .
...I want to stay by my grandmothers side... I dont want to leave my hotown.
She spoke slowly.
My marriage with youIt still weighs heavily on my heart. I dont hate the ti I spend with you as much as before but if I have to live like this for the rest of my life, I feel helpless.
I nodded once. It was all understandable.
Blackwood gave Ner to , but she didnt want that. It was no different from forcibly taking her away.
I know that youre a good person, to the extent that I feel like an idiot for being afraid of you for so long. Im grateful for what youve done for us... But...
But Im really sorryIm sorryBut my heart is still the sa. This feeling I have for you... It feels distant from love. No, its far away.
I wasnt surprised by her words.
I know.
We had already had this conversation. I didnt expect her to change so soon.
Ner tightly closed her mouth.
So, Berg. Maybe... It might be better for us not to try so hard for each others sake. I dont want you to work for a heart that wont be reciprocated either. We didnt co together because we desired each other. In the end, were sacrificing ourselves for the sake of our people.
I glanced around nonchalantly. Her statents didnt present a significant issue for .
So, should we not even try... since we were forced into this relationship?
The silence felt affirmative.
I let out a sigh for a mont and took steps toward a beautiful flower in the distance.
Pushing through the tall grass, I made my way toward the flower.
No one knows what the future holds. Theres no point in discussing it now.
But... Ugh...
However, Ner couldnt relax her expression. She couldnt erase the apologetic look.
It was as if she had already decided that she could never accept .
As I watched her in silence, I picked a flower I found and held it in my hand.
Then, I approached the grave where Ner was sitting.
I placed the flower in front of the grave.
Ner looked at curiously.
Looking at that expression, I asked.
Dont werewolves offer flowers?
When we pay respects to the deceased, we do it like this, with our tails...
Ners tail brushed the grave again.
I nodded and returned to the previous topic.
Yes. Surely, there will be many difficult things ahead. Especially... when it cos to reconciling our cultures. The ways of honoring the deceased are different too...
I said, pointing to the ring she had taken off.
Even things like this. I know you feel uncomfortable wearing it, but if were in front of people, I have no choice but to ask you to wear the ring. Thats what a human couple is like.
Ner looked down at the ring that had been taken off and spoke.
...Isnt this... just a culture of constraining each other? Are human couples the ones who confine and mark each other...? Berg, from this point on, werewolves and humans are already incompatible. Werewolf couples value each others freedom above all...
Thats why it will be difficult.
Then, maybe you dont need to start
But that doesnt an I want to live while giving up.
I raised my voice as I cut off Ners words. Ner also closed her mouth and listened to .
...We can adjust. Were a married couple. Were supposed to spend our lives together. I dont want to live as a couple without any affection for each other.
I sat down next to Ner.
Her eyes didnt seem to expect to leave.
...Ner, earlier you said you think Im a good person, right?
Ner hesitated to speak.
Yes. But that doesnt an its love
I guess we can start as friends.
Pardon?
I looked at her as well.
Even if we dont love each other, we can still be friends.
.
Ner blinked her eyes several tis as if pondering those words.
Then, she lowered her head and whispered quietly.
...Friends...
She seed to be repeating the word in her mind.
Ive told you before, the werewolves take a long ti to love, you said it yourself. So, I wont force it.
Of course, we have to appear like a couple in front of others, for everyones sake. You know that, right?
In truth, there would be nothing more certain than s*x to solidify the alliance with Blackwood.
By having a relationship and bearing my child, Ner would beco completely dependent on .
She would be bound to our Red Flas.
If she were to have my child, whether our relationship was good or bad, the mbers of the Red Flas would not doubt our alliance with Blackwood.
However, if things were that way, she might co to hate . I didnt know what other consequences it might bring.
Regardless, I didnt want to force myself onto her.
So, instead, we would pretend to have a good relationship.
Through our actions, we would show that the alliance is strong.
I believed that if we both showed a little consideration for each other, we could choose a much better path.
In the first place, Hyung told to be happy. I was ant to be.
Ner spoke.
In front of others... I will continue to pretend.
Thats a relief. So, does that an we start as friends?
Ner fell silent once again.
It was apparent how difficult this was for her as she looked down at the ground with a guilt-ridden expression.
Or perhaps it was because she disliked that much, even after being rejected and abandoned by her family?
-Thump... Thump...
But at that mont, I saw Ners tail moving behind her.
As if Ner felt the montary movent, she imdiately grabbed her tail.
I recalled the story I heard a few days ago.
If a tail shakes from side to side, it ans good.
With a smile, I spoke to her.
Ill take it as a good sign.
Ner blushed, feeling embarrassed that her true feelings were revealed.
But eventually, she nodded her head.
End of Chapter
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