As the campsite was set up, I lay down on the vast plain, relishing the rest.
...
Resting like this always brings a sense of calm to my heart.
It might be a habit ingrained in over ti.
I avoided this thod of relaxation for a long ti because it reminded of Sien.
I tried not to think too much.
Whenever thoughts of Sien seed to surface, I consciously diverted my mind.
Perhaps, I still think of her because of the way we parted.
Of course, there was love, mories, shared feelings... but the relationship was forcibly ripped away, leaving an unhealed, ssy wound.
As I once told Adam Hyung, the pain was complex.
There was also the guilt of not being able to protect the one I loved back then.
That guilt might have led to wield violence in the slums afterwards.
...
I was not as smart as Adam Hyung, so it seed I was only now coming to terms with my feelings.
Well, it might just be an excuse.
And perhaps, I was rationalizing why I couldnt forget Sien.
Our relationship back then was too deep to be described in words.
For soone like , who had nothing, there was nothing more precious than her.
I sighed briefly.
I tried not to think about Sien, yet here I was, absurdly pondering the sa issue again.
Shaking my head, I tried to regain my peace.
Ners fated partner.
Arwins death wish.
Siens situation.
I tried not to think about any of it.
In the end, all these were issues of the past.
Ner was now married to , I ca to terms with what Arwin might have thought, and Sien left .
These were issues I no longer needed to hold onto.
I just needed to live in the present.
****
Lying there, I heard the sound of soone approaching.
It was a faint sound, as if from a dream, and I couldnt react to it.
-Rustle.
Half-conscious, I sensed soone sitting beside .
Her scent wafted over, reminiscent of fresh grass, and I imdiately recognized it as Arwin.
...Ah.
As soon as she sat down, she let out a short sigh.
Was my body tired from what had happened before?
Even with Arwins presence, my consciousness flickered, threatening to fade.
-Tap.
But Arwins touch brought back to alertness.
She gently touched my cheek with her finger.
...
In the silence, she slowly lay down beside .
I heard the sound.
Just as I suspected, Arwin lay down on my arm, proving my guess right.
...Freedom feels good, Berg, she whispered.
It was a ssage for , yet it sounded like she was talking to herself, assuming I was asleep.
Internally, I agreed with her words, enjoying a more comfortable rest.
Her presence sohow strengthened my heart.
Feeling her relax made think that perhaps I was doing sothing right.
It might be because of you, that I feel this way, Arwins voice carried a strange sadness.
The more she spoke, the clearer my thoughts beca.
It seed unlikely I would fall back asleep now.
I wondered what conversation she had with Gale that brought about this sudden change in her.
Freedom, sothing Ive longed for all my life... but would I have felt this if I were alone?
Arwin chuckled, trying to lift her spirits, but the sadness in her voice remained.
Do you know, Berg? There was so much I wanted to see, so many places I wanted to go. I believed that everything beyond the Celebrien estate would beco mories. But...
Arwin spoke with a sense of emptiness.
...But why is it that in all these mories, its only you?
Her words made my hand twitch.
More than the freedom Ive been waiting for all my life, you, whom I never expected to et, remain in my heart more deeply. Swimming in the sea, getting caught in the rain together, learning to use the bow... You are the one who stands out in my mories.
Arwin whispered.
I felt a strange gratitude for her words.
It felt like our bond was growing stronger.
Perhaps, this was the right path forward.
...So I should be happy...
At that mont, Arwins shoulders started to shake.
I slowly opened my eyes.
Arwin, with her eyes closed, was on the verge of tears.
...Berg.
She said.
Can you let go?
............
My mind froze for a mont.
The arm I had stretched out to comfort her stopped in mid-air.
Her request was too sudden for .
But at the sa ti, it must have been a long-held sentint in Arwins heart.
...Before I grow fonder of you... before I suffer more after your death...
Arwin, who was always so composed, now shed tears.
Her words made it hard for to repeat the sa old words.
Dont look too far ahead, enjoy the ti we have.
Was getting closer causing her pain?
I had only wanted her to live comfortably with the mories of .
All I tried was to bridge the gap between us.
Can elves and humans never truly co close?
...
I moved my frozen hand.
I embraced Arwin.
She flinched, startled, in my arms.
Ah...! Youre, youre awake-
-Is it really impossible?
I asked.
Even as I posed the question, I felt a pang of pain.
At tis like this, I realized how much of my heart I had allowed to be affected.
The smiles shared with Arwin had beco my strength, it seed.
...Is it really impossible, Arwin?
I pulled her head closer and hugged her tightly.
...
Arwin slowly stiffened in my embrace.
She buried her head in my chest.
I knew it.
Perhaps this was a selfish notion.
But in the realm of emotions, so things couldnt be explained with reason.
Was it wrong to start sothing if the fear of parting was there?
...Probably not.
The separation from Sien was painful, but one thing was crystal clear.
The ti I spent with her was an imnse happiness to .
I didnt want to erase all those mories because of the pain of parting.
The sa goes for Arwin.
She was my wife... wouldnt it be right to try living happily?
Perhaps we could build a future even more poignant than the mories we had accumulated.
Still, I couldnt impose only my hopes.
Having once heard Ners words, I knew it might be possible.
How desperate must she have been to harbor such a wish?
I, too, was at a crossroads of choice.
It was a serious question.
Answer , Arwin.
...I... I dont know either.
Arwin spoke, struggling to hold back tears, conveying her uncertainty.
...I dont know what to do. Im so confused, Berg...
I held her tighter in my arms.
There were no more words I could offer.
Speaking effortlessly like Adam Hyung was never my forte.
Instead, I expressed what I usually wouldnt.
Holding her in my arms, I stroked her hair.
Arwin did not push away.
...I dont think I can let you go.
I spoke bitterly.
This wasnt a matter of my choice alone.
Even for the sake of the Red Flas, she needed to be with us.
...And of course, there was my own desire.
At those words, Arwin gave a weak smile.
...Is it really like that?
Since she had spoken those words to while I was asleep, she probably hadnt truly hoped for a situation where she would let go.
I joined in her difficult laughter, trying to shift the mood.
Like I said before, lets not worry about the future.
...
Worrying too much ans you cant enjoy whats in front of you.
...
Fearing pain and letting go of the present... that seems like a foolish choice to .
...
And a planned separation is much better than a sudden one. If we prepare well enough, it might be okay.
...For example...?
I spun around, holding Arwin in my arms.
She naturally lay on top of .
I looked up at the white clouds floating in the blue sky.
...Its better than separating through death. Ive seen such farewells countless tis in the rcenary group.
Thats not what I ant, Berg. How do you prepare for a separation?
I laughed lightly.
Maybe its okay if we enjoy everything to the fullest until were tired of it? Wouldnt it be fine after a sufficiently satisfying life?
...Is there enough ti?
We have 60 years, whats there to worry about?
...Im an elf. Its a short ti.
Short? Its long. Weve only been together for a few months, and look how close weve beco.
...
We have hundreds of tis longer than the ti weve spent together so far. Is that short?
...
Arwin closed her mouth as if in deep thought.
I didnt press her to make any further decisions.
As I said, we had plenty of ti.
She could slowly decide in the future.
Whether to move forward with to the next step, or to stop here.
As I stroked her hair, her long ears kept touching the tips of my fingers.
Arwins ears quivered up and down with each touch.
I was still waiting for her vow.
Though we were married, she had not yet made her vow.
She had said she would make it when she could truly an it.
...Ill keep trying until I hear your vow.
...
I took a deep breath before speaking.
If I wanted sincerity from her, I had to show my own.
Because your presence has beco my strength.
Yes...?
Ive been feeling it more lately.
The pain from my wounds seed to dull in the presence of her and Ner.
I was less shaken by provocations aid at , and my anxious heart felt steadier.
I hope we can continue to be like this.
What did I do
Just being by my side is enough.
I was pushing a bit.
I was growing fonder of her, and fully intended to envision a future together.
I hoped she felt the sa.
...Think about it, Arwin.
That was how I concluded.
Arwin slowly nodded her head.
Vice-captain... Eh, vice-captain! Ti for dinner!
Baran called from a distance.
I said to Arwin,
...Lets go.
...
Arwin didnt respond. She just lay her head on my chest, motionless.
...Co on, lets go.
-Tap.
I playfully pressed her side.
Startled, Arwin jumped up in surprise.
Be, Berg...!
I chuckled, sitting up.
Arwin naturally moved out of my embrace.
We brushed ourselves off and stood up.
...
Turning around, I saw soone watching us from atop a hill.
Ner.
She looked at us with a stern expression... then turned away.
I sighed with a smile in my voice.
...Haah.
It seed I had to sohow manage the growing rift between my two wives.
****
Felix had made a decision.
...Lets prepare to march. Its ti.
Acran spoke in a low voice.
...This mission will be challenging.
We cant afford to delay here any longer. Weve sohow managed to gather the troops; it should be possible.
Felix hadnt been idle.
Suppressing his typical dragonian-like fiery temperant and stubbornness, he had run around persuading the sons involved in the succession struggle.
For now, he asked them to stop fighting and help.
But the sons were skeptical, uncertain how many of their forces would die in the war.
After all, the outco of the war could significantly influence the succession battle.
Fortunately, Felix managed to reach a consensus.
He secured promises of support from everyone.
Tired of such struggles, Felix shook his head.
...Lets finish this quickly and leave. Ive lost track of how many days weve been here.
Acran sighed again.
War isnt just about forces, you know. There are unseen factors that heavily influence it, like morale, alliances...
Despite this, Acran seed to understand that there was no other option and stopped talking.
There had been many more hopeless monts than this.
With Felix commanding to move, everyone simply followed.
Sylprien spoke to Acran, who looked concerned.
Dont worry. If a real problem arises, Ill imdiately send my bird to Gale.
And what would that change?
Hes nearby. Hell co to help right away.
Acrans face lit up.
The master is nearby?
Hes headed towards the dwarf village, Sarik.
...Thats welco news. If necessary, we can seek the masters assistance.
Felix, observing his companions reactions, finally asked the saintess.
Saintess-nim, what are your thoughts?
The saintess opinion was always clear.
...I dont want to delay any further.
The closer the end, the more urgent the heart becos.
Lets finish this war quickly... I...
At her response, everyone nodded in agreent.
Felix spoke up.
Alright. Lets go then.
The End of The Chapter
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