"Richard, please go." I repeated.
"How could I forget you?" He whispered and ran his hand through his hair. He shuffled from foot to foot, not knowing whether to stay or go. I turned to face the closet to hide the fact that I didn’t want him to go either.
I felt him before he touched my shoulder. My heart rocked in my chest, all of my resolve gone. He turned to face him and smashed his lips against mine. He slled of whiskey, but his lips were as soft as I rembered. I leaned into the kiss, taking what may be the last dose of him.
He pulled away, but not to stop, only to change location. He found my weak spot just at the base of my neck and sucked on it, pulling the strings of my dress to expose my heavy breasts. I moaned into his ears, a stray moan I tried to keep in, all to refuse to show him that I yearned for him.
He squeezed my breast gently and groaned. "Fuck!" He pulled away at that, breathing heavily.
My eyes were clouded with desire as I stood there watching him war with himself. He turned around and slamd a fist into the closet door. I didn’t have the will yet to speak; he turned back to , his face etched in excruciating control.
He adjusted my dress, pulling the strings back in place. "I don’t want to make any more mistakes."
I nodded.
"I... I want to... I’m sorry."
I smiled at his struggle and moved to the closet to begin packing.
"What?" he asked.
"Nothing." I chuckled.
"Tell , co on."
"This all feels very familiar. Your struggle at keeping at arm’s length." I explained taking out so clothes into a small luggage bag.
"Apparently, I lost that battle." He gave a small smile.
"Clearly." I laughed, gesturing to my huge baby bump.
"Tell about our first kiss." He said, plopping down on the edge of the bed.
"I cannot explain it without telling a long story, but our first kiss was at our wedding." I zipped the bag and dropped it at my feet.
"At our wedding? We never..."
I laughed. "No, we had... I had a lot of baggage to deal with, and we were still trying to co to terms with our engagent. You didn’t even recognize as Nerdy Benny until Sam pointed it out on the day of our engagent party."
"What was the baggage?"
I sighed and sat beside him on the bed. "Sam tried to rape back in boarding school. I grew up with a deep fear of intimacy. You helped through it."
"I still don’t believe all this stuff about Sam."
"Yeah, you never did until you got proof." I put my hand on his thigh. "I have to go. I am going house hunting today, so..."
"I can help you with that."
"Actually soone else already offered." I winced.
"Let guess, it’s Victor." I gave a small nod, really not wanting to get into a fight. "I guess I did push you into his arms, huh."
"There is nothing going on there, Richard. I will like to believe that when you get your mory, you will be mine once more. I am holding on to hope."
"You are saying you are going to wait."
"As long as it takes, and when that ti cos, the man that I knew will hunt down wherever I am and reclaim as his." I smiled a bit, trying to reassure him. "Just don’t make another baby with Gwen or anyone else in the anti."
"I have to give Gwen credit. She is fighting dirty. I didn’t think she had it in her. I am caught between two baby mamas, and I am here losing my mind."
I got up and grabbed my bag. "I am not your baby mama, Richard. I have and always will be your one true love."
He nodded and took the bag from , and we walked out together, making peace with our divorce and hoping that things would get better and the future would carry hope with it.
*****
Victor took to a restaurant after our house hunting. I wasn’t feeling like food, but he would hear nothing of the sort.
"You have to eat sothing. For you and for the baby."
"Victor, I really do not have an appetite for anything."
"You eat or I will force feed you." His voice was light and teasing, but I could tell he was worried about .
The waitress approached us to take our orders. "I’ll just have ice cream, and if I feel like anything after that, I will let you know."
The waitress smiled. "Can I recomnd so spicy soup? I assure you it helps." She signaled to my pregnant stomach.
"Does it? Ice cream and so spicy soup then." I smiled, feeling my mouth water at the thought.
"Also, sex improves the appetite." She gestured to Victor this ti.
I saw Victor instantly turn red in the cheeks. "No, no, we... I..." he stuttered incomprehensibly.
I chuckled at his embarrassnt and turned to the waitress. "We are just friends."
"Oh, I am so sorry. I just assud." She apologized, holding a hand to her chest. "I will stop talking and go get your order." She was on her way when she ca back. "I forgot to take yours."
Victor cleared his throat. "I will have so ice cream also."
"Right. I’ll be back in a minute."
We ate in comfortable silence after our orders were brought. The waitress was right; the soup was delicious, and it stayed down.
"Have you made a choice about which apartnt you would like?" He asked after he was done with his cup of ice cream.
"It’s difficult to choose; the apartnts are okay. Which do you think will be okay for a jobless single mother?"
He laughed at that. "I don’t think you will be jobless for too long. I have been aning to speak with you about that actually. How long will your maternity leave be?"
"What’s on your mind?"
"I’m starting a real estate company, and I was thinking you would like to be a part of that journey."
I swallowed, staring at my plate. "I don’t know." I really don’t know. I don’t know what my future holds. Will I one day beco Mrs. Nuro again, or have I lost the love of my life forever? I couldn’t make any long-term decisions. It felt like I was stuck.
Victor sighed, pushing his plate aside and reaching for my hand. His thumb brushed over my knuckles, sending a warmth up my arm. "No rush, take your ti. But just know I am here if you need anything."
"Well, well, well, if it isn’t the slut of the decade."
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