The night is like a piece of translucent frosted glass, edges smoothed away, details hidden, leaving only large swaths of blank space for the senses. At such tis, human imagination becos the brush filling in the blanks, and what it paints is always the part we need most in the depths of our hearts.
And also the part we fear most.
Alcohol accelerates this brush. Alcohol pushes rationality to the backstage while emotion takes the lead, so we believe exceptionally deeply in the world we've painted for ourselves.
Perhaps we both crave reality and need a bit of "not-quite-real" protection, so that reality won't be too sharp-edged.
Night and alcohol happen to hand us both these things simultaneously.
But the problem follows. This hazy yet dangerous thing becos an abyss with the slightest misstep.
How should one judge?
Xie Ci didn't know.
But Ling Xi didn't know either.
The instant the words landed, Ling Xi suddenly regretted it.
Oh no.
This thought was like ice water pouring down from overhead. She instantly sobered up, sharply realizing what absurd things she had said.
Whether he'd be unfaithful, having multiple girlfriends, wanting to be his lover,
When these words fell on his ears, wouldn't she seem like a shaless woman?
Her breathing beca rapid, her cheeks scalding hot. She opened her mouth wanting to explain, but was so panicked that just as her tongue touched her teeth, she heard Xie Ci sigh.
"Ling Xi."
Her whole body trembled. This was the first ti he'd called her na.
"You're drunk."
Right, I'm drunk. I drank too much and that's why I'm talking nonsense. He definitely won't take it seriously, he'll just treat it as drunken jokes.
Like driftwood grasped by a drowning person, her tense heart suddenly relaxed.
But this relief hadn't lasted even a few seconds before an even greater sense of loss swept over.
The moonlight had moved to the window at so point. Tonight there was no wind, the curtains weren't closed, so moonlight sprinkled into the room, adding a hazy romance to this darkness.
Vaguely, she could almost see in his eyes the reflection that belonged only to her.
Those sapphire-like beautiful eyes trembled.
What a good opportunity.
Alone together in darkness, his hand around her waist, breathing so close, that reassuring body warmth.
Perhaps she was drunk, but not because of alcohol.
"I'm not drunk!"
The rebuttal burst out, the tail end carrying a tremor, an indescribable feeling. Was it grievance? Or maybe it was stubbornness?
She couldn't figure it out.
She even leaned forward a bit, wanting him to see clearly her sober eyes.
But the moonlight was still too dim, barely better than nothing in this pitch darkness.
Neither could see the other clearly.
Xie Ci was truly bewildered.
He was startled by her suddenly raised voice, and also made restless by her suddenly closer distance. He could even vaguely sense the chaotic heartbeat behind that compressed softness.
I don't know if it's hers or mine.
I don't even have a proper girlfriend. Why am I being asked whether I'd be unfaithful, whether I'd have multiple girlfriends, whether I want a lover?
What is Ling Xi thinking about?
Up until just now, our relationship was very stable.
Is she throwing a tantrum?
But when she threw tantrums before, it wasn't like this.
So could this be so kind of confession?
Xie Ci's thoughts suddenly beca chaotic.
He'd always felt that to reach the step of life partner, you should at least be friends for several years first. Like peeling an onion, clearly seeing each other's insides, strengths and weaknesses all laid out, seen through, before considering whether to bind the remaining decades of life together.
A confession should be the victory horn when conditions are ripe, not a reckless first shot.
Moreover, he'd never had any confidence about establishing romantic relationships.
To beco part of soone's life, even occupying all the remainder, one must inevitably pay a price and bear responsibility.
But what could he give?
Xie Ci thought about how because of that inexplicable system, he couldn't independently obtain any property. Even now he was still spending Ye Li's money. Before lifting this restriction, he could only spend his partner's money.
Without material security, what could he offer?
Intangible ti, feelings, and that unreachable future?
Don't be ridiculous.
Could these invisible, intangible things really support a relationship?
If this relationship could be seen to the end at a glance, it would be better not to start at all.
A wet, warm sensation suddenly ca from the hollow of his neck, carrying weak trembling. Ling Xi had at so point pressed her face there, her breath carrying moisture. He couldn't tell if it was just breath, or...
Tears.
Her voice sounded again, lower, hoarser, nasal, like a thread that could easily break.
"Xie Ci... please, say sothing~"
Her hand gripping his clothes tightened again. Her whole body was trembling, like a child unable to find their mother in the darkness, able only to desperately grasp this only support before her eyes.
Those carefully calculated rational thoughts wavered at this mont.
Considerations about friendship, about responsibility, about the future; all seed so pale and powerless before the truly real trembling and warmth of the person in his arms.
He pulled her tighter into his embrace.
"Ling Xi, you shouldn't beco anyone's lover. I don't want you to be anyone's lover either."
Xie Ci's tone was firm, but these gentle words entering Ling Xi's ears seed so cold.
As expected, it's rejection.
I don't even have the qualifications to be a lover...
Right, how could soone like him look at soone like who has no value in reality, soone who doesn't even dare speak openly about her reason for returning to China.
Only a woman like Ye Li deserves to stand beside him. My humble little thoughts just seem laughable.
Her eyes blurred, wasting that pure white moonlight.
She weakly tried to break free from his embrace, flustered, as if afraid of exposing sothing. Even after he goes back, he won't need for recording videos.
But she couldn't break free...
With difficulty, she withdrew both hands from his warm back, gently pushing at his chest.
Not budging at all.
"Xie Ci... let go~" She held these words in her mouth and slowly spoke them.
She suddenly felt so disheveled, so wronged.
Even her struggling couldn't be resolute, seeming insignificant in this embrace.
Xie Ci seed not to hear, sighing softly, like so unquestionable declaration, mixing with the rustling sounds of her body twisting and rubbing as she struggled, scattering in this increasingly thick darkness.
"Ling Xi, you know what?"
Ling Xi's struggling paused. Even her breathing lightened.
"Every man has a very troubleso thing called possessiveness." Xie Ci pulled Ling Xi's small head back to his neck hollow, speaking softly by her ear.
"Even girls who have nothing to do with them, who they've only t once, they'll despicably hope she's still single. Seeing her get close to other guys makes them uncomfortable."
Xie Ci felt sowhat guilty. He was going to lie again.
He felt like he was comforting a wronged little cat curled up in his arms, unable even to make owing sounds.
"And you, you're almost the most beautiful girl I've ever seen... one of them. Mm... it's like having a kind of light that makes people unable to look away."
For so reason, Xie Ci suddenly rembered that he still hadn't replied to Ye Li's ssage!
"Why did I stop when I walked to your seat?" Xie Ci seed to be speaking to her, yet also like talking to himself. He looked at the pure moonlight outside the window gradually mixing with this enchanting night, and those matters at the bottom of his heart finally borrowed it to speak out.
"Because the first ti I saw you, I thought, wow, this girl is really beautiful, has such presence. Coming closer, I found you were playing the ga I was supposed to record videos with that online friend Ling Xi. At the ti I felt it was fate."
Holding fragrant softness close, speaking softly by her fragrant ear, he suddenly felt his cheeks sowhat hot.
"Actually, the mont I saw you, I thought of the you that existed only in my imagination at that ti. Cold and alluring, charming, great figure, carrying an attitude that kept people at a distance, just like the cold, alluring master described in so web novels."
Ling Xi felt her breathing quicken several beats. The hands she'd lowered secretly wrapped around again.
"Later when I discovered, wow, it's really you! I thought, how could there be such a lucky thing? How could it be such a coincidence?" Xie Ci's voice hid a trace of tenderness even he hadn't noticed.
"At the ti I really felt very lucky, because the probability of this kind of thing happening in life is less than one in a million."
Outside the window, the waning moon gradually brought moonlight. In this rich darkness, these threads of silver appeared so enchanting.
"And this one-in-a-million luck happened to let encounter it. At that ti I thought, perhaps our eting was destined."
These words coming from Xie Ci's mouth were as light as sleep talk, but falling on Ling Xi's heart were like heavy hamrs, striking again and again. Her sha was about to overflow. It was also like warm water boiling her heart, torturous beyond asure.
She suddenly wanted to say it all, those words at the bottom of her heart surging to her lips.
Just as she was about to speak, an unfamiliar sensation suddenly ca from her waist.
Xie Ci's fingers had at so point slid to the side of her slender waist, mischievously pinching once. That touch was both soft and tender, also carrying warmth. Ling Xi only felt her face burning, unable to suppress a thin, soft moan, softly leaning into Xie Ci's embrace.
Form is emptiness, emptiness is form. Form is emptiness, emptiness is form. Form is emptiness, emptiness is form...
Xie Ci chanted frantically in his mind.
"Later, when I discovered you were still hiding so many things from , I really got a bit angry. Could it be you didn't consider a good friend? You send beautiful leg photos every day, but still hid such important things from all along. Could it be you actually didn't consider a friend?"
"No, no! I, I just..." Ling Xi frantically tried to explain.
Xie Ci suddenly pinched Ling Xi's soft waist again.
"Mm~" Ling Xi's words were blocked again like this. She gave a reproachful yet wronged soft hum.
Xie Ci suddenly regretted using this thod. I can barely keep my gun down.
"After learning about your past, I was thinking."
His voice beca serious again, his fingertips still lingering at her waist side, carrying a faint scratching sensation.
"A girl like you, I really don't want you to beco anyone's lover or anything like that."
Have to say the feel is really amazing... is this what the entertainnt industry is like...
He paused, his tone full of earnestness. "A girl like you deserves to find soone who can accompany you for life."
Hearing this sentence, Ling Xi's heart felt like sothing bit it, producing densely packed pain.
She suddenly rembered, many years ago, it was also like this.
Warm hands, a reassuring embrace, gentle earnest words...
Ling Xi buried her small head deeply in Xie Ci's neck hollow. But just as she prepared to cry, a pair of large hands suddenly pressed against her small face. She looked unprepared into a pair of eyes that shone brightly in the intersection of night and moon, emanating enchanting light.
"You, what are you doing~" Ling Xi suddenly felt a bit wronged. Why isn't he following the script?
"Actually... I have a very selfish wish," Xie Ci said carefully in a low voice, carrying a subtle probing, "before you find this person, before you truly confirm this person is soone who can accompany you for life, you and I can still maintain this unique relationship in each other's lives."
He held her, his tone carrying obvious tenderness, as if explaining, yet also as if convincing himself.
"Look, you're my only friend like this. You can help make videos, and also make delicious als. You specially learned to make these dishes, right?
"Where would I find such a good girl to be such a good friend?"
Xie Ci rubbed Ling Xi's cheeks, soft and tender, making one unable to let go.
"But you're such a gentle and beautiful girl. After school starts, when you enter your new class, you'll et more people, make more friends. At that ti, many guys better than will co pursue you.”
"No, they won't... even if they pursue it's useless~" Ling Xi beca anxious again, her words carrying tremors. She suddenly didn't know what Xie Ci ant by saying all this. She actually wanted to say I'll go to your class, but she was afraid that when she spoke those words, he'd be disappointed again.
How could he think I can't see through this?
"So, how should I put it, let's start as the very best of friends?"
Until you find that person who can truly accompany you for life.
After this sentence, only the intertwined breathing of the two remained in the darkness, along with the sly moonlight outside the window, mischievously moving away again, making it impossible to see each other's eyes clearly in the darkness.
In the darkness, Ling Xi's breathing gradually steadied.
Friends? Best friends?
Both fell silent, silent for a long ti, both seeming to wait for a response from the other.
Just when Xie Ci thought he'd have to rack his brains again to carefully consider his reasoning, Ling Xi suddenly raised her head.
She was very tall. Wearing high heels, she was almost level with Xie Ci. At this mont, their lips were at a peculiar position, separated by an ambiguous distance. If either person leaned forward just slightly...
Xie Ci nervously broke into a sweat.
This is different from those few kisses with Ye Li. Those ca and went quickly. How long has he been holding this alluring body now? Long enough that blood is almost flowing downward.
While his thoughts wandered, Ling Xi spoke nervously with a trembling voice. Her voice was very light, like a feather gently falling by Xie Ci's ear, yet stirring endless imagination, an unbearable itch.
"How about... tonight, you... don't go back, okay..."
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