Mira had no concept of ti during this trial so she had no idea how long it's been or how many years she's experienced. No, it could be said that Mira has experienced thousands of years, if not more, but at the sa ti, she hasn't spent any ti in this trial.
All she knew was that the longer she was stuck in this trial, the worse it beca.
At first, it only ssed up her emotions, thoughts, desires, and form, but as ti went on, the trial started affecting her mories, even going so far as to implant new mories.
Every few seconds, Mira would outright lose a portion of her mories, causing her to lose her sense of self. Although it didn't happen imdiately and was a gradual change to Mira, it all seed to occur simultaneously as her tiline was all ssed up.
However, the trial wasn't going to make things so easy for Mira by simply erasing her mory and implanting her ones. Occasionally, she would get her mory back and would have to prepare her mind in that split second that she was able to form rational thoughts.
Of course, although Mira usually has outstanding control over her emotions and is almost always able to calmly deal with any problems that co her way it was incredibly challenging to do that in this situation.
During that split second, she was allowed to form thoughts with her authentic mories, she was too busy trying to take in the situation that she couldn't properly prepare her mind for what was to co.
In the end, she could only allow this trial to take over her mind and body. There was no stopping it, so she might as well just accept it.
p
How could an F.LD.I.L trial be so easy to pass?
If Mira was in the right state of mind, she might've been able to figure out the true purpose of this trial. Of course, she knew that it was made to push her mind to the limits. What she didn't know was that is only a byproduct of the trial's true objective.
Mira didn't know that so of the trials are personally designed to address the successor's needs and/or weaknesses.
That's why this trial is so hard because it was designed for Mira to acknowledge, challenge, and overco one of her greatest weaknesses: Her Mind.
Of course, this doesn't concern her willpower or ntality. Those are already incredibly strong for her age, cultivation, and experience. No, one of Mira's greatest weaknesses is her inability to show or acknowledge any other emotion other than indifference.
That doesn't an Mira doesn't feel things like rage, happiness, sadness, etc., it's just that she views such emotions as weaknesses and therefore represses them so much until she feels nothing but cold indifference.
That's probably why her affinity with the ice elent is so high, but that's for another ti.
Apparently, the F.LD.I.L has decided that Mira's perception of emotions is incredibly flawed. Emotions are only weaknesses if not used or controlled properly, but they aren't inherently bad.
Every living being in the Universe, regardless of race and gender, contains emotions and desires. Hell, in the Cultivation World, even rocks can have emotions if they are old enough or contain enough Qi.
Mira, on the other hand, has bottled up nearly all of her emotions for hundreds, if not close to a thousand years!
So, although the purpose of this test, at least on the surface, is to test her mind and willpower, it's really giving Mira a safe space where she can properly co to terms with herself and her emotions and desires.
What better way to do this than to make Mira lose her mories, replace her old mories with new mories, change her form between various elents, and even ss with her perception of ti?
Well, there are probably several better ways to go about this rather than having her do it during a trial, but the F.LD.I.L knew that it wouldn't have a better ti to provoke this change in Mira's mindset so it decided to use this trial. Unfortunately, it still had to go with the the of the item she's trying to get, [Chaotic Silk], or else it probably would have used a different dium for Mira to properly co to terms with her emotions.
Anyways, Mira had no idea of this trial's true purpose and was instead forced to go through these mind-numbing experiences.
However, at so point, deep in Mira's subconscious, she started feeling sothing she never thought she'd feel.
She felt an intense desire to keep her mories! Although she's experienced what seed like hell for so many years, it's those mories that make her, well, her!
She wouldn't be what she is today nor where she is today without those mories and experiences! Although she may hate to admit it, she would never in good conscience ask soone to erase those mories from her.
They may be things that will scar her forever, leaving a part of her mind partially broken, but there are also many things she's learned from those horrible experiences.
She's learned how much pain one can feel due to the betrayal of a loved one. She's learned that everyone has a dark side, no matter how nice they may seem on the surface. She's learned that, at the end of the day, one can only rely on themselves. Relying on other people is sothing only weak people do.
Of course, she has to acknowledge the power that a group of weak people can wield, but that leads to the next thing she's learned through all of her hardships. That everyone, no matter who they are, has desires, and sotis those desires end up being more important than the group of people they were relying on.
That being said, a group of weak people trying to be strong will almost always strive to change their status from soone weak to soone strong. Of course, weak and strong are all relative as in so worlds, the 'strong' are the rich, while in other worlds, 'strong' ans physically being strong.
After all, who in their right mind would want to stay weak?
At the very least, Mira has t very few people who don't want to move up in the world. Although Mira has heard of a few people who are content with being lower-class citizens, their hearts are often fickle and are subject to change as soon as soone gives them an offer that is impossible to refuse.
It's these kinds of experiences and mories that have shaped the person she is today, and she'd be damned if she let so trial play with her mories like they are so kind of joke!
She knew that it wouldn't be easy for her to take control of her mind, or at the very least prevent her mories from being lost, but she knew she had to at least try.
She didn't know how long she was going to be stuck here going through this shit or if there even was a ti limit. So she might as well have a goal in mind and right now her only goal is to replay every mory of her life, starting all the way back with her first life!
Although she was only given 'fraction-of-a-second' incrents to rember these mories, she was determined to use that ti to the fullest until she made it all the way through each of her lives until this very mont!
If that didn't work, then she'd do it again! And if that still didn't work then she'd do it again!
She'd do this so many tis that even if the trial were to erase her mories, they would still be present in her subconscious! They would still be with her even if she beca brain-damaged and couldn't form coherent thoughts.
Every thought, every emotion, every desire, every interaction, every scene, every friend, every love, every foe.
She would rember it all until her very existence could no longer forget it!
She simply couldn't stand this trial removing pieces of her life like that! The very thought of losing all of her mories filled her mind with a seething rage. A rage that couldn't be quelled unless she got revenge on the trial for doing sothing so impudent!
Unfortunately, she was unable to physically beat up the trial, and even if she was physically able to do it, she was most likely too weak to be able to do any real damage to it.
Doing this was the only way she could think of that would allow her to get her revenge on the trial while also trying to pass it without her mind crumbling and her sense of self diminishing.
Whether or not Mira would be able to pass the trial by doing this remains to be seen, but at least she has a goal and is doing everything in her power to reach that goal!
Reviews
All reviews (0)