Chapter 92 - Retrospection
The ntal condition of the Green Spirits survivor was worse than expected. He began to inflict self-harm and, as ti went on, began to see and hear things. The man couldn’t go on being an expedition mber, and he was completely devoid of the will to do so. Depression was contagious. Contaminated by lancholy, Nochtentoria Castle was quieter than usual.
“Jun Karentia. Do you have ti in the evening?” Mayer asked.
“What? I do have ti, but…”
“Then why not share a drink with ? I am in the mood for so drinking tonight.”
I pondered Mayer’s suggestion for a mont. Drinking with him ant I could have expensive alcohol I’d normally be unable to afford. On the other hand, a lot of things held back, including the recent kissing. I wanted to avoid being alone with him whenever possible, but the power of expensive liquor was too great. In the end, the scales in my heart tilted toward it. Besides, I didn’t feel I could bear with not drinking on a day like this. Could that be why Mayer was calling over?
As always, the captain was unable to bring himself to speak until he had downed a few shots. He rubbed a hand down his face and let out a sigh. “The Green Spirits’ squad leader, Umbra… was a good person. She was indecisive, but she knew how to call the shots when necessary.” His eyes lost their focus for a brief mont as he thought of his comrade. He chewed over his own words while swirling his glass of liquor before chuckling all of a sudden. “I think I said the sa for Wipera, but I an it for Umbra.”
“I heard. That she sacrificed herself to save a new squad mber…” I replied, recalling what I overheard about Umbra during the morial service. Umbra had been one of the two elites under Mayer I didn’t get to et as they were out on dungeon raids. I had never heard of her in the first playthrough. “…Is this a different conclusion from the first playthrough?” I asked cautiously.
“It is… similar. And that is what makes it harder to take.” Mayer downed another glass. He didn’t show any color on his face, but I could tell the drink was starting to get to him by the slight slur in his voice. “It was a complete failure back then. There were no survivors. So I was the one to close that dungeon in the end.”
“…If you knew, then why didn’t you go yourself?”
“I could not. The dungeon opening tis overlapped.” He laughed, but the sound was bitter. I thought back to when the Green Spirits were dispatched and realized it was right before I t Mayer. Apprehensive, I asked, “By opening tis… Do you an it was because of ?”
“Not you, but . I was the one who gave the order.”
“…So it is because of . To et in the dungeon I was in… Right?”
Mayer filled his empty glass in silence, not answering. It turned out I was involved most unexpectedly. Feeling a phantom weight press against my chest, I downed a glass myself. I wished for the fire of liquor to burn away this weight, but I still felt suffocated.
“At first, I considered giving the order to bring you while I went to the other dungeon. But giving an abrupt order to rescue a support mage sowhere in a dungeon? Putting aside that it would seem suspicious… I felt uneasy. And the rescue could have suffered a setback as you might have, due to unforeseen circumstances, harbored hostility against the Dark Knights… And that wasn’t even the worst scenario. If you were to end up dying…” He trailed off.
I could understand his concerns, although I did wonder if it wasn’t excessive. For example, Axion, who didn’t have a good first impression of . I wouldn’t have even had the chance to show my capability. I tried to imagine what could’ve happened with Mayer giving a sudden order to save a support mage. At first glance, I would’ve seed useless and soone without the slightest connection to the captain… To top it off, it was a wonder whether the ones tasked with that mission would have managed to reach the dungeon in ti. Without their captain there to rush them, what if they hadn’t arrived soon enough? In reality, had Mayer been delayed even a little, I would’ve died to that cyclops. Just like that, I would’ve croaked before the second playthrough had even begun. It was aningless speculation now, but the thought alone was chilling.
“A re mont of hesitation can end up killing people. I feared that would happen to you. And, as you know, I honestly cannot trust others too much. It is a separate matter from acknowledging soone’s ability. I cannot rest easy unless I solve the most important things myself.” Mayer fidgeted with his glass, which was the sa as mine yet it looked remarkably smaller in his hand. Like a man facing his sin, he continued in a clear voice. “Yes. I gave up on Umbra. To gain a little more certainty in slaying the demon lord…”
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