“N-no.”
I hastily denied it, but it was too late again.
yer narrowed his eyes. His gaze took in every corner of my face as if he were analyzing the emotions that had co over .
He asked suspiciously.
“Are you sure it’s not true?”
“Yes! Of course!”
I smiled brightly. yer’s eyes beca more persistent.
Eyes are the windows of the heart, and I smiled more bent to hide my eyes that would be revealing my uneasy feelings.
It wasn’t long before yer sighed and moved.
“If it were you, you’d tell exactly why you’re avoiding …If you’re not, then I guess you’re considering .”
No, that’s not it. I wasn’t considerate at all!
yer’s rampant paranoia had to be stopped. But how? yer was so busy working on his novel that he didn’t notice my bewildernt.
No, he didn’t even know that I was embarrassed because I was stabbed to the point.
yer dropped his head, pitiful and pitiable.
His deep-set eyes and well-defined nose cast a distinct shadow on his face, but it made him look terribly gloomy.
“Is it because I have mana after all? As Commander, I’m sure you’d resist touching as a lover whether I had mana or not…”
I can’t just reveal that we’ve already been through the kissing stage…
If it was revealed, it was clear that what I had buried between him and would co out like candy one after another.
I really can’t listen to that.
He was so adorable and cute even if he made mistakes, but he doesn’t know.
yer muttered as if he were the product of all sins.
“You might get goosebumps. I understand how you feel.”
What do you understand!
I hurriedly grabbed yer’s hand with both hands.
“Okay? Look. I don’t care if you touch my hand.”
yer’s face was stained with pain. He carefully pulled out his hand as if it were dirt on my hand.
The endless self-deprecation of yer’s situation, the vague feeling of how to get out of this situation, the frustration…
The mixture of these two things was boiling over, and my head was overloaded.
At that mont, sowhere in my mind, the line that had been holding my reason snapped.
Yeah, holding hands doesn’t prove it.
I jumped out of my seat impulsively.
yer, sitting on the sofa over the low table, was surprised and looked up at .
“… Jun?”
“Okay. I’ll prove that I’m not offended or reluctant to touch you.”
Speaking as if I were spitting it out, I imdiately reached out to the back of yer’s head. My fingers dug into his dark hair.
yer looked up at with startled eyes but didn’t shake my hands off. It would have been close to not being able to shake them off exactly.
Because I put my lips on him first.
“…!”
yer’s eyes got bigger.
He groaned quietly without realizing it, and the small gap in his open lips was enough.
“Haa…”
No matter how big yer was, he was still lower than as he rose from his seat.
yer’s head tilted upward, and the back of his neck moved roughly.
My hair cascaded down yer’s face. It felt as if his hair was turning gray.
His golden eyes blurred.
The arm that was trying to grab my forearm quickly clung to it. Just holding it in his hand was enough to cover half of my forearm.
As if his trepidation were a lie, he clung desperately to like a lifesaving rope, or as if I were his only breathing hole.
It was as if we were at the ti of the mana exchange…
I also beca distant. The stability provided by the hard muscles that touched intoxicated as if I were lying in a cradle.
And so there were many breaths.
He was persistent and eager to feel this mont forever.
As for , I had committed the act without a second thought in order to silence yer, but whatever his intentions, seed to have no doubt that this act was as noble as sharing his soul.
But just as a hand that tries to catch moonlight never achieves its goal, our kissing ca to an end.
Unlike the first ti, when we had bumped into each other in a surprise attack, the process of falling was slow and full of unknowns.
yer leaned back on the back of the couch and looked up at with a hazy look in his eyes as if he still hadn’t quite grasped the situation.
Only then did my senses slowly return, as if oxygen had circulated in my head.
And I belatedly realized that I hit hard even if I caused an accident.
‘So… I attacked yer, who was sober.’
That’s why leaks in the house leak even when you go out…! What’s the point of keeping it a secret that I kissed yer? That habit is still there!
My legs lost strength and I staggered as if I was about to sit down. I struggled to get my body under control.
In the anti, yer’s eyes, which had begun to calm down to a certain extent, were slowly dyed with questions.
It was a matter of course. What kind of person would suddenly kiss soone who wanted to hold their hand, and kiss them very deeply?
No matter how much of a preliminary relationship it was, it was sexual harassnt.
But for the mont, the situation was irreversible.
I had to get it under control sohow.
Shall I apologize? Or should I instead stand tall?
I chose the latter. I spoke plainly, hoping that the confused yer would not be able to read my feelings to the best of my ability.
“Commander, I like your black hair. I’ve never thought about mana while looking at the Commander’s hair…”
I tried to pretend to be determined, but my mouth dried up at yer’s gaze, which seed to pierce while blinking slowly.
I’d rather yer be sly, or brazen… It would have been less frustrating if that had been the case.
He looked at as if every word I said was a revelation of salvation.
It was really burdenso, so I hurriedly ended my sentence.
“So, don’t think about nonsense… I’ll just go early and rest today.”
Sensitive bodies detected all the small signs of each other.
In that state, it was not a very good idea for him and to remain alone in this enclosed space for a long ti.
I was in a hurry to leave the room.
It was only after I left yer’s office and closed the door that I made a ss of my hair like I was venting out with frustration and regret.
‘I’ve finally gone crazy…’
Rather, I think I was more rational at the ti when I believed Fabian as the hero and sent blind trust.
In short, I had no rationale at all now.
Now that yer was in a mont of confusion, I was able to get out easily, but it’s difficult when he cos to his senses…
If I tell everyone to go to the dungeon right now, no matter how nice they are, they’ll still rebel, right?
I sighed heavily.
However, no matter how much I regretted it, it wouldn’t change the situation.
I don’t have the energy to launch the special unit. I really need to go back to my room and rest.
I quickly got to my feet. No, I tried to move.
Imdiately behind , the door to the office opened, revealing yer.
Filling the door to the brim, he stared down at with a look that could have been figurative.
As expected, yer must have been uncomfortable, too…
I looked up at him with an awkward smile.
“Um, Commander… When I kissed you earlier…”
Even before my excuse was over, his hand strongly pulled into the office.
While I was about to co to my senses, in the dizzying mont, yer kissed this ti.
“…!”
Overwheld by yer’s devouring montum, I even forgot to resist.
Bang, without knowing it, he closed the door. Only our gasping breaths remained in his quiet office.
If earlier he had just been uncomfortable, like being swept up in a tidal wave, now he was relentless as if trying to rember sothing, and one by one he dug in.
The posture was reversed. I was the one who was much different in height from him. My neck arched back as if it would snap.
I struggled in yer’s arms. I knew it ant nothing to yer, who had trapped tightly.
But the feeling of strength in my toes and stiffness in my body was so foreign to that I could not stay still.
After a long ti, yer let go. Only then was I able to breathe.
I wanted to ask him, “What the hell are you doing?” but I didn’t feel like asking since I had already attacked him first.
Why is he already good at kissing?
I didn’t know why but it was unfair. I was breathing roughly, and tears flickered in my eyes.
“As expected.”
yer mumbled, touching his lips.
“I’m used to it.”
My heart fluttered at the mont. It was not ti to feel resentful about yer’s kissing skills.
When I was embarrassed, I stuttered and asked again without realizing it.
“W-what?”
“This feeling… Isn’t this the first ti we’ve kissed?”
“…”
I couldn’t say anything.
yer looked more than a little confused when I kissed him.
Scary jerk. Does he rember the kiss he gave when he was dreaming and not in his right mind?
I rember the last ti he said sothing about the color of my eyes…
yer asked again with a stunned look on his face while cold sweat broke out.
“When the hell?”
Even if he asks when…
What I really needed to keep my mouth shut about was not that it made my heart flutter when I ca in contact with yer, or the reason I kissed him.
It was about the events of that ti when I had opened his mana circuits, which I had buried in the other side of my mory…
My defeat was that I realized it now.
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