I Would Rather Be a Rogue [BL] Chapter 84: As Long as We Are Fated

After Felix’s words, everything beca silent and still. Even the air seed to have turned solid and motionless.

It wasn’t the first ti they had this conversation. They had bickered about it from the start, not to ntion the tis when Felix attempted to make a deal or have a serious discussion, presenting good argunts as to why they should end their bond. But there was so strange finality in his words right now.

’I will never accept you, not as long as we remain fated mates.’

"...Why?" Kade asked simply after a long mont of silence. He was oddly... calm, which sohow made Felix even more nervous, but he still answered,

"Why should I? We are not a good match."

"No, that can’t be, if we truly were mismatched, then Moon Goddess wouldn’t have paired us together," Kade shook his head, speaking without thinking. Only once the words had already left his throat did he realize the aning behind them: that fated mates were a good match by default. Which was fine when Kade and Felix were concerned - because Kade was convinced they would be great together, and would stand by his words no matter what - but that would also suggest that Felix and Jared were a good pairing, and so where Felix’s parents...

He lifted his eyes, throwing the Oga a surreptitious glance...

But Felix wasn’t angry, or offended, or anything. He didn’t even think about Kade’s words too much. After all, what the Alpha had said wasn’t exactly anything new, it was a common belief among werewolves that the fated mate bond was a perfect match. It was Felix who was the weird one for defying that.

If anything, Kade using this argunt only helped him calm down a bit. This was sothing he was prepared for, so he knew exactly how to act next.

"I understand how you feel," he nodded his head. "However, it isn’t the only chance you have in your life. Look at , I haven’t even turned nineteen yet, and it’s already my second fated bond... If we break our bond, I’m sure Moon Goddess will take pity on you, and let you find your second mate soon. Perhaps one with... a less problematic background and unconventional beliefs."

"But I’ve told you I don’t want anyone else!" Kade couldn’t help but raise his voice, barely holding his emotions in. Not that Felix was any different, clenching his fists to hide the shaking of his hands, as his wolf paced around nervously.

"That’s how you feel right now. Because you are affected by our bond."

"This..."

"Let’s be honest, you wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for our bond. That fated connection between us is the only reason why you approached in the first place.

"That’s not..." Kade wanted to protest, but sothing in Felix’s expression made him shut up. For a long while, they just stared at each other, Felix mustering all of his strength to maintain the eye contact...

And in the end, it was Kade who surrendered first, his shoulders dropping limply in defeat, as a heavy sigh escaped his lungs. "Fine, I admit it. I did start chasing after you because of our bond..." he said, as there was no point trying to deny the obvious, "But that was only at first! After I got to know you, I genuinely ca to like you and-"

"Genuinely?" Felix interrupted, not giving the Alpha a chance to defend himself. "How do you know you truly feel anything for , and are not manipulated by the bond?"

"And how can you be so sure that I don’t?"

"...I don’t know," Felix admitted unwillingly. "But it’s an undeniable fact that you are affected by the bond."

Kade shifted in his seat, not knowing how to react. He has never questioned Moon Goddess or the fated mate bond before, nor did he hear anyone raise any doubts about it, not until he t this cute little Oga... His fated mate. People rejected their fated mates sotis, yes, but it was rare, and treated more like an exception, looked down upon if there wasn’t any legitimate reason.

And there wasn’t any legitimate reason, not as far as Kade was concerned. The fact that Felix had a pup with soone else already? That could be fixed by putting Kade’s na on the birth certificate. The thing that he ran away from his pack? Deal with the Moonhill Pack, and this problem would also be solved. As for the ’missing’ reports, they could also easily co up with so explanations...

The only problem that truly stood between them... was Felix’s stubbornness.

"But you also feel sothing, don’t you?" Kade said in a soft, coaxing voice, reaching out to take one of the Oga’s fists in his large hand. "I can hear your heartbeat all the way from here. Toward , you also..."

Felix flinched at Kade’s touch, and as soon as the warmth enveloped his hand, his body imdiately started lting, from his fated mate’s proximity... However, before he completely lost his mind, he bit on his lip, recovering enough sanity to argue, "That’s because I can also feel our bond. So, any feelings I may have are not entirely my own."

Kade froze, a pang of pain flashing through his face. His voice was strained, full of suppressed emotions, when he muttered, "Does it even matter? Whether they are ours, or from the bond..."

"To it does." Felix remained firm, despite the guilt that squeezed his chest. Perhaps what he said was cruel... But, it was better than dragging it on forever, no? "I will never accept your feelings for as long as there’s a fated bond between us..."

"...You say that as if you’d be willing to give a chance if we weren’t fated mates."

"This..." Felix paused, surprised by Kade’s words. Yes, indeed, he did phrase it that way... It wasn’t his intention to do so. But how did he actually feel about Kade, putting the pull from the bond aside?

"It still wouldn’t work," he eventually said, shaking his head. "You’re the heir to the Bloodmoon Pack... And I don’t want to be a Luna, I don’t want to join any pack at all. A quiet life as a rogue suits best."

"You wouldn’t have to be the Luna! Or at least you wouldn’t have to take on any duties. I’d find you reliable assistants to handle all the work, so you could be my idle mate," Kade quickly proposed. "Or I could beco a rogue as well!"

"...What?" Felix gave the Alpha a blank stare. What sort of nonsense was he spouting now? Him? Leaving the Bloodmoon Pack? As if!

Kade himself seed to have realized that he got carried away, because he cleared his throat, schooling his expression. "Well, don’t mind the details. I’m sure we would make it work sohow. Love is about compromise..."

...To be honest, Felix was a bit flattered that Kade was willing to consider his preferences so much. But, he quickly shook his head, chasing the thoughts away.

"Anyway, it doesn’t matter. With the fated bond between us, I simply can’t trust your sincerity... We’d have to end it first, then separate for long enough for all the emotions to subside... Only then could we be certain that whatever we might feel is genuine."

As soon as he finished talking, Felix’s eyes widened. Just what on Earth was he thinking? Making a suggestion like that... Well, it wasn’t exactly a suggestion, but it could be interpreted as such. If Kade took his words to heart and actually attempted that... Then wouldn’t Felix end up in even more trouble for leading him on?! He didn’t an to lead him on, of course, and he made no promises, but that was not the point!

Luckily, Kade’s focus was on sothing else. "But if we did that, then we would lose our bond."

"Yes, that’s exactly the point," Felix nodded his head. Although he wanted to take his words back, it was too late now that he had said them all out loud, thus he had no choice but to go along with it.

"But... But! Even if you don’t trust it, surely you know about the significance of the mate bond!"

Of course Felix knew. He grew up in a pack, so naturally he was more than familiar with all the werewolf customs and beliefs. While so traditions varied from pack to pack, there were so truths that were universally recognized.

Such as the superiority of the fated mate bond over the chosen one. While any two werewolves could form a deep bond between them through bonding rituals and marking each other, it couldn’t even begin to compare to the bond that fated mates who marked each other had. Fated mates could beco perfectly attuned with each other, understanding each other without any words, or even sensing when their mate was in danger, even when they were far away... Just to na a few perks.

That’s why many wolves were so obsessed with finding their fated mate.

And if Felix and Kade were to break their fated bond, but get together later... That would truly be a sha. They would have lost a chance at sothing far more special, and would have been just regular chosen mates. That’s not to say that the chosen bonds were worthless, but...

"I’m sorry, Young Master," Felix bowed his head. "But that’s just the way I am. If a fated mate bond is important to you, then you should just end things with here... And then go to look for your second chance mate. I’m sure Moon Goddess would listen to your prayers."

Kade didn’t say anything. He just sat in silence for a while...

And then, he got up, and walked out.

Without a word.

While their mate bond still remained...