I don't know why hes so angry at this mont.
He wasnt even angry with , but because of his almost faded mories.
One story from the temple that I could never forget.
This was when I had a miscarriage.
"Your Majesty seems to lack faith. Therefore, God doesnt give us children."
I just blurted out to him out of stupidity that our child was killed by the lack of faith in him.
At that ti I was out of my mind, and the words of the High Priest sat down in my subcortex.
Later I learned that the temple said this only to annoy in grief.
And today I ca here. This ti, even if the High Priest had started his old song again, my reaction would have been different.
But I didn't think Ray still rembered that story.
And I don't know how he found to be in the temple. But he seed to be worried that the High Priest would insult .
But I didn't appreciate this gesture.
I could handle this myself.
And running to help after so many years would be absurd.
"It's amazing that Your Majesty says that now."
"What?"
"You seem to be really sad and angry about our past loss."
Sothing I had never seen before, that he mourned the death of a child.
Except for the very day of the miscarriage, he was just going about his business, eting people and telling things in common while I was in mourning.
"Don't be too sad. We will make a new child."
It may not have been my last child, but it was my first.
Even after Carlisle, I never forgot about the unborn firstborn.
I didn't want to cling to Raymond anymore, but the story of the miscarriage was already beyond the bounds.
Because he didn't even deserve to ntion the unborn child.
I told him in a firm voice that couldnt hide my anger:
"Didn't His Majesty treat the child as if it weren't there at all?"
He asked, frowning:
"What are you talking about?"
"After the miscarriage, His Majesty didnt shed a single tear. You just went to work with your head."
"That."
"The only thing that supported was the belief that I could have another child."
The more I spoke, the more I rembered the cruelty of that ti, and my emotions grew stronger. In the end, I broke down and scread.
"Never Never ca to console ! Have you ever missed a dead child? You have no right to talk about it!"
I took a deep breath to suppress my righteous anger. His face was frozen with embarrassnt.
The mont I wanted to turn away, because I didn't even want to look at him, his frozen face weakened.
"Ellie."
There was a suppressed groan.
"I didnt co because it was my first child, too."
He covered his face with his hand, as if distressed. And slowly he continued:
"I was a fool. But too At the ti, I didn't know what to do. It was hard for to see you suffer, and yes, I shouldn't have left you alone"
Sadness emanated from his shaking black eyes, just like what I have experienced in the past.
But what should change from these words of his?
I didn't need these words now, but at that ti.
When my feelings subsided, I told him with a deep sigh:
"And what will change if you said that? Just as the suffering was buried in my heart, Your Majesty is just as gnawed at the feeling of guilt in front of "
I didn't want to listen to his confessions. Especially if it's about a child.
"Please refrain from such revelations in the future. You might think it will rewrite the past."
Surprised by my cold tone? He couldn't open his mouth now.
"Yes, I know. Its too late".
"I'm glad you know that too. I hope you will not ddle in my life anymore."
It annoyed that he constantly crossed the line.
"Be careful in the future."
And Raymond stepped back from .
The sky was already turning red.
I still had to leave, because Carlisle and I were approaching the night market.
"Im busy."
Such a rude goodbye wasnt very beautiful, but that made feel better.
I turned away and coldly walked past him, head held high.
"I'm sorry."
Raymond only spoke after Ellie was out of sight.
"And what will change if you said that?"
At that phrase, Raymond saw the pain in her eyes.
I'm sorry I couldnt be with you.
I'm sorry I couldnt say a kind word.
The child asked to go out, I saw you fall, and didnt know what to do. I was too confused.
Miserable regrets accumulated in my soul that I couldnt even say anything.
The dead child and Ellie's suffers.
Ellie's endless screams sounded in his ears like echoes from the past.
As soon as the child died, the temple exploded into hysterics and kept screaming about the wrath of the gods.
The nobles, even those who had concubines, suddenly called on the Emperor to repent for their sins.
Of course, this couldnt justify his behavior.
If it healed her wounds, Raymond could even kneel down hundreds and thousands of tis and pray, but what happened is already irreversible.
All the ti I thought about the child as much as about Ellie's wounds.
This was our first child, what made it even more difficult.
I still rember the mont Ellie told that we were going to have a baby. What I felt at that mont is difficult to express in words.
It was exciting, but, on the other hand, I got scared.
My father never loved , so I suspected that I would also not be able to give love to my own children.
When I heard the news about her pregnancy, I was so worried for several days that I couldnt even fall asleep.
In the end, I didn't even get a chance to try parenthood. The child was stillborn, so we couldnt even properly send him on his last journey.
Raymond sighed painfully under the darkening sky.
And then a knight ca up to him.
"Sire. I think we should go now."
At the knight's careful words, Raymond barely escaped his mories of the past.
He agreed to et with Jeremy Drua today.
To know exactly what was on Jeremy's mind, he ordered Carter to set up a secret eting place.
Enduring a burning pain in his chest, he climbed onto the horse.
"We are moving out imdiately."
At a gallop, Raymond passed the bustling town square, where the night market had just opened, and entered a shady alley.
Carter was already waiting for him.
"Sire."
Carter walked over and bowed his head to him.
Raymond asked, looking at the dilapidated bar behind the knight.
"Is Drua already there?"
"He's waiting for you."
Raymond walked by and opened the door.
As soon as he entered, a deep voice rang in Raymond's ears.
"Welco to this lovely place."
There were several candles on the table. A familiar face was visible in the dim light.
Gorgeous platinum hair and amber eyes.
And a sweet face that always smiles smugly.
You and Ellie must be smiling like that all the ti?
The relationship between them is closer than they show to the public.
Ellie covered Jeremy and Jeremy protected Ellie.
I was getting hot just from the thought of their connection.
"Hail His Majesty the Emperor, Empire Sun."
"Raise your head."
Raymond walked over to Jeremy.
"Well, you chose the hole."
Raymond looked around the run-down bar that was about to collapse.
"I'm sorry that I brought you to such a shabby place. However, this is the safest way. Such a place isnt visited by people, but only by ghosts."
Jeremy spoke in a relaxed manner.
His appearance, free from anxiety, was similar to when he appeared before Raymond at the party.
Even Duke Drua would have been terrified to face him. But Jeremy is not. And it was annoying.
Jeremy placed a chair in front of Raymond, intending to sit down.
Looking at the chair, battered over the years, he ordered the knights behind him:
"Leave us."
"Your Majesty, to be left alone without protection"
"I won't say it twice."
Raymond's cold voice echoed, and the knights hastily retreated. There are two left in the bar.
Raymond sat up, staring at Jeremy with cold eyes.
"From now on, if you lie to even in small things, you will no longer see the sun."
"Yes, Your Majesty."
Jeremy sat facing him, not avoiding those shiny black eyes.
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