The discovery of unexpectedly having sothing in common with Kusunoki-san made our conversation more lively than I had expected, and I think was able to get to know both of them pretty well. Well, Yuzuki-san wasn’t able to keep up with our conversation about the internet ga and was now slightly sulking……
Unexpectedly, Kusunoki-san has been playing internet gas since she was in elentary school, and the total number of years that she had been playing the ga was longer than , who had retired from the ga when I entered university.
However, perhaps because of her diligent character, she seems to be a light user who only connected for about an hour a day and I seed to be of a much higher level than her, which made reflect on my past.
I’ve been surprised at the fact that she has been playing internet gas since she was in elentary school, but I’ve actually seen and heard of players like that when I was still playing the ga and there have been so of them among the players who were close to …… It kind of makes nostalgic thinking about it.
There was a newbie child I happened to et back then, and as I taught him various things, we had beco friends. I thought he was close to my age or older, as he had been very polite and always using honorifics while we were chatting, and he seed to be a smart guy, with good mory and a good head on his shoulders, so I rembered being surprised when he told he’s 11 years old.
I rembered back when I was retiring, he was pretty supportive of , even though I was pretty much saying goodbye to him…… I wonder how he’s doing now? Is he still playing that ga, or have he already retired from that ga like ……? Even though we were close, our relationship is just sothing online. There’s no way for to confirm it now, but I hope he’s doing well.
(T/N: He doesn’t know the newbie’s gender, so I’m going to assu he’s a male. Just as I’m taught to assu that most people in MMOs are male.)
As I was thinking about that, it was almost ti for the date to change before I knew it. We are going to the temple tomorrow, so I’ve decided to switch my mind away from reminiscing nostalgic mories about to past and went to bed.
I was born in a privileged family and lived in a privileged environnt—– I think that’s how the world sees .
I may have been blessed to be the only daughter of the Kusunoki Group, the owner of a large company, and I was given many things from an early age, but for , the environnt at ho was never a comfortable one.
I learned more lessons than I can count on one hand, and while the other children of my generation were playing together outside, I was constrained in my ho, studying all the ti.
More than anything else, those eyes that looked at and those affectionate smiles they gave …… I hated them very much.
Everyone isn’t looking at . They don’t see for who I am, but as the “daughter of the Kusunoki family”. And even if I hated it so much, I couldn’t do anything about it.
Even if I had lots of things, freedom isn’t sothing that I could acquire from inside my birdcage—– the environnt I thought I was in.
I started playing online gas as a bit of a break from those days. It was just a short 30 minutes to an hour before I finished my lessons, ate dinner, took a bath, and went to bed. I chose to play online gas in my free ti, ti which I considered precious at that ti…… because I was attracted by its catchphrase “The place where you can be your ideal self”.
Being conscious of those words “a self that isn’t yours”, I created a male character and played the ga, but to be honest, I didn’t know what to do at first, let alone enjoy it, since it was my first ti playing this kind of ga, let alone an online ga.
Even the help on the official site isn’t very clear. There’s a lot of technical jargons and in-ga chatting is rife with incomprehensible conversations, and of course, there is no one I can ask about it, so I was already at a loss in the town where I started.
And that was when—– I t “that person”.
That person, who was wearing strong-looking equipnt, approached when I was in trouble and took good care of , who was new to internet gas and chatting.
He gently and politely guided through not only the ga, but also the technical terms and unspoken rules of the internet, and even though I was slow with typing my responses, I was able to play the ga properly and enjoy it.
Once I got used to it, I really enjoyed playing online gas. Nobody saw as the daughter of the Kusunoki family, but rather as myself, which made the young very happy, making look forward to those short tis of relaxation each day more than anything else.
Especially that guy who taught a lot of things in the beginning, and because I didn’t like the idea of my levels being pulled up like that, he took the liberty to create a new low-level character and always played with in a fair party, where our levels matched.
He would pick up when I logged in, take to various hunting grounds without complaining about my poor skills and lack of knowledge, and listened to chatter and complain about all sorts of trivial things.
……I enjoyed my ti with that person the most. He was kind and dependable, and yet, sohow laid back and relaxed. I felt at ease just being with him. Having no siblings, I had thought that this may be what it feels like having an older brother.
Looking back on it now, that must be—- when I first felt love.
If I had to confess, it would be better to say that my state of mind in playing online gas at that ti was so that I could et that person, rather than going online just to play the ga itself.
Though I said that, I still didn’t have any idea about love at that ti, and all I wanted was to play with the kind older brother……
It may sound strange to say that I’m in love with soone whose face and na I didn’t know, but at the end of the day, the ideal love interest I had in mind is a kind and dependable older man…… In short, soone like him and I think there’s probably no doubt about it.
At any rate, for the at that ti, talking with him is without a doubt, the most enjoyable and happiest ti I had.
However, those tis of happiness ca to an abrupt end. When he told that he was retiring for real-life reasons, I was so shocked that my mind went blank.
I didn’t want to be selfish and bother him, so I gave him so words of encouragent, but if I’m being honest, I didn’t want him to quit. I wanted him to stay forever.
However, ti eventually passed without being able to say anything, and in the spring three years ago, he disappeared from the online ga world.
On the day he last connected, I stayed up late for the first ti in my life. I wanted to talk to him for as long as possible……
He also said goodbye to and gave so of the expensive equipnt and items I had been using. These items were so rare at it could even be a dream co true for to get them at that ti, but I wasn’t happy in the least bit. I was just sad.
I just shed tears as I stared at the screen of the ga where he was gone, and I finally realized how important he was to , and at the sa ti, I regret not knowing enough about him even after he listened to all the ti.
Maybe it’s because I’m in high school and have a better understanding of what I need for my future, or maybe it’s because I’ve been able to maintain my grades, which is a crooked way of saying I’m a good student, the number of lessons I’m taking decreased and my parents don’t put many restrictions on anymore. I have more free ti to do my best in club activities.
Starting with Hina-chan, I’ve made a lot of people that I could call my friends, and I can say that my days have been really fulfilling.
However, I’m still playing that online ga and I would still go online for 30 minutes to an hour every day. I know that I’m being stubborn, but I’m still holding unto a slight hope that he might co back soday……
Turning off the lights and went to bed, my eyes reflect the faint moonlight coming through the window.
A lot of things happened today. The party at the palace is one thing, but I’m glad that I also had a chance to talk with Miyama-san, who I hadn’t had a chance to talk to very often.
To be honest, until now, there was a part of that had a hard ti grasping the distance between us, if you could call it that.
Just like , Hina-chan and Mitsunaga-kun, he is a person who was summoned to this other world, and he is the oldest among us…… If I had to say so, I would say that my impression of Miyama-san was that he was soone I had no idea what he’s thinking about.
I guess you could call him calm at best and indifferent at worst…… Even though this was supposed to be a sudden and extraordinary situation, he sohow seed calm and composed, and while he took the initiative to ask questions to Lilia-san and the others, he didn’t say anything about himself at all. I don’t really know how to best say it, but early on, it felt like he was always taking a step away from us, building a wall around him and treating us coldly like it was sothing normal, and it’s not just to Lilia-san and Lunamaria-san, but to us as well…… To be honest, I was a little afraid.
However, I’d say that impression has changed quite a bit since today. He explained a lot of information he got to us and he was worried about Mitsunaga-kun, whom he hardly spoke to. The expression on his face, which had been calm and composed for so long, had changed in many ways today, and I felt like I’m finally starting to see Miyama-san to who he really is.
What was particularly impressive was the expression on his face when he offered the green tea to Hina-chan, who was excited after she saw rice—– and the smile on his face, as if he was looking at his own little sister, made realize that he’s a kind person at heart.
And when he saw Hina-chan, who was sulking because she couldn’t keep up with the topic of gas, looking at him as he patiently taught her various things with a wry smile on his face as if he’s troubled, I rembered that person.
Maybe the reason why he had seed so cold until now was that even though Miyama-san was also confused with all sorts of things he got involved with, he was purposely doing so that we wouldn’t feel uneasy after looking at him. That’s how different my impression of Miyama-san today was from the past.
At the very least, the Miyama-san of today looked like a senior that we could rely on…… I felt sorry that I was afraid of him because of my own imagination.
Maybe it’s a bad habit of mine to read too much into things and be wary of them. In fact, Miyama-san and I were talking about the online ga, and our conversation was much easier than I had imagined, finding out how easy it is to converse with him. I guess you can’t really understand a person until you try to talk to them in person.
I don’t know if I’m being extre or just being naive…… but my impression of Miyama-san has changed for the better after just having a long talk with him today.
Thinking about this, as I was about to lower my eyelids, letting the drowsiness engulf my consciousness, I rembered him again.
[……”Ciel-san”]
My first love, whose real na and face I know nothing about. The ti I spent with that person is still a cherished mory that will stay with to this day, and the equipnt and items he left behind were all untouched and carefully stored in the online ga’s warehouse. Ready and waiting for the day he cos back……
Even so, three years have already passed and I should have been rembering him less and less as ti passed…… but what made rember that person over and over again today?
Because it’s been a while since I’ve talked about the online ga? No, that’s probably not it.
Ahh, I see…… It’s because they resemble. The way Miyama-san was teaching Hina-chan various things about the ga, reminded of that person in my mory……
Co to think of it, Ciel-san was four or five years older than , just like Miyama-san…… Didn’t he ntion that he based his userna on his real na?
Miyama Kaito—– “Kai” for enjoynt and “to” for human—- I think “kai” could also an shell, right?—– wait, shell?—– Ciel?
[Fufufu.]
As expected, wouldn’t circumstances be too convenient if that really were the case? However, I feel like I’m going to have a good dream today.
As a self-mocking smile leaked out from my mouth, I could feel so sort of warmth embracing my body as my consciousness sank into slumber.
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